True Places(77)

Suzanne had promised Iris that she would find a way to make her happy again. She intended to keep that promise. Somehow, at this moment, it seemed to be one she’d be able to keep, and perhaps the only one worth honoring.





CHAPTER 33

Iris buckled her seat belt and glanced out the car window at the house, wondering if she might not see it again, and surprised to discover an ache of sadness take hold in her chest. She had already asked Suzanne where they were going—twice—and hadn’t gotten an answer, so there was no point in asking again. The reason for leaving was clearer to her. She’d heard most of the argument floating up from the kitchen and all of the discussion between Whit and Suzanne in their bedroom. She hadn’t been spying, but she had come to realize her hearing was more sensitive than other people’s.

Suzanne started the car, and they began to roll down the driveway. Reid stood on the porch, his hands laced behind his head and his elbows sticking out, as if his head had gotten too heavy for his neck. Iris couldn’t see his face clearly, but everything was there in the way he stood, rocking a little from one foot to the other. He was sad and worried and probably afraid. Iris remembered how it felt to know she was about to lose her mother. It was like falling in a dream: the sickening dread of hitting the ground seemed to last forever and was worse than the crash could ever be.

They turned onto the street and drove through town, quiet on a Sunday afternoon. They passed the school and kept heading south. The day was gray and it was spitting with rain, and the gloominess mixed in Iris’s stomach with the unsettling feeling of leaving without knowing where she was headed. That, too, felt familiar. Years ago she had left the cabin on a morning like this, except it was late summer, and had struck out into the woods, knowing she had to leave but not knowing how far or in what direction she would go. North, as it happened, on that day.

The rain came down harder and Suzanne flicked on the wipers.

“I’m sorry,” Iris said.

“For what?”

“For going to the party.”

“I understand why you went, but thank you.”

“I thought it would be fun.”

“That’s pretty normal, wanting to have fun.”

Iris thought of Sam grabbing her, and of how Brynn kept drinking more and more—how everyone did—until they didn’t know what they were doing.

“I’m not sure the point of the party was to have fun.”

Suzanne looked at her a moment, then returned her attention to the road. “No?”

“When we got there, people were already bumping into each other, falling down. It seemed like the point was to find what happened after fun.”

Suzanne didn’t say anything.

“Anyway, I’m sorry I went and I’m sorry I didn’t come straight back.”

Iris could feel Suzanne thinking past what Iris had said. Iris looked out the window. The houses were farther apart now.

Suzanne broke the silence. “How about we drive up to the parkway?”

“Isn’t that where you found me?”

“Yes, it is.”

“What are we going to do there?”

Suzanne stopped at a traffic light. “Drive. I think I’d just like to drive.”

Iris was still thinking about what Suzanne meant and was a little concerned about what they were doing, but she’d hardly had time to mull it over before signs for the Blue Ridge Parkway appeared. Two turns later they were driving toward the spine of the mountains. The rain eased and the wind picked up, pulling the clouds into pieces and scattering them across the sky. A few cars passed by but mostly the road was empty. The tires hissed on the wet road. Iris opened the window a crack, and the smell of damp vegetation and moist, wormy dirt filled her nostrils. At first she strained to see into the woods, to catch a glimpse as they sped by and extract a clear, still picture of what the woods were like in that spot, what might be growing or blossoming or creeping along. It was impossible, though, and left her dizzy. So she leaned back in the seat and took in what she could easily see and wondered if they would just drive forever. Without a home, it was hard for Iris to imagine where she belonged, and she had the feeling Suzanne felt much the same.

They pulled off and parked in a small cleared area with a picnic table. Suzanne turned off the engine and hung on to the steering wheel, staring ahead. The rain had almost stopped.

“What are you looking for?”

“I don’t know.” Suzanne pointed to a set of stone steps leading up to a level area, hidden by trees. “That’s an old railroad. That’s where I found you.”

“I don’t remember it at all.”

“You were so sick.” She twisted to face Iris and smiled for the first time today. “I’m so glad I found you. And not just because you needed help.”

“Then why?”

Her brown eyes filled with tears. “Because I need help, too.”

Iris waited for an explanation. She couldn’t think of how she could help Suzanne, especially since she didn’t know what was wrong, at least not in detail. Suzanne was unhappy with her family and her life, but that wasn’t the sort of problem Iris had any experience with. Iris wanted to help Suzanne, she really did, but she had no idea how.

“Iris, you told the police that after your mother died, someone came to the cabin, and that’s when you left.”