To Love and to Loathe (The Regency Vows #2)(81)

“What’s wrong?” Emily asked, scooting to one side so that Diana could squeeze between them on the window seat. Violet—after casting an approving glance at an incredibly detailed illustration of the male reproductive organ—closed the book in her lap and set it on the floor. Diana leaned back, feeling the cool glass of the window at her back and, toeing off her shoes, drew her knees up to her chest.

Diana hesitated—Lady Helen had entrusted her with an extremely important secret, and Diana didn’t feel quite right about betraying her confidence so quickly. However, she knew Violet and Emily were entirely trustworthy—and, furthermore, if she didn’t tell someone all that was on her mind, she thought she might burst.

“I made a rather interesting discovery about Lady Helen this morning,” she said after a moment during which both Emily and Violet watched her expectantly.

Emily’s brow wrinkled slightly. Clearly, this was not the salvo with which she’d expected Diana to open.

“What I’m about to tell you cannot move beyond the three of us—not even to Audley, Violet, because he’s friends with Rothsmere, and whilst I know he can keep a secret, I worry he would give it away by some accidental tell, without even meaning to.” Seeing Violet’s nod of assent, Diana continued, lowering her voice even further. “Lady Helen prefers the company of other women, and has been carrying on an affair with her lady’s maid for some years now.”

“What?” Violet asked; had she been drinking anything at the moment, Diana was certain she would have spit it out. Emily sat quietly, frowning.

“But she’s been flinging herself at Jeremy for the better part of a week!” Violet protested.

“All part of a rather cunning plan to make herself seem so desperate and grasping that no man could possibly wish to marry her, so that eventually she can retire to a cottage in the country with her maid.”

“Well,” Violet said, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her chin with one finger, “I must admit I’m rather impressed in spite of myself.”

“That was entirely my reaction as well,” Diana assured her. “One doesn’t know quite what to say in the face of such craftiness.”

“?‘Congratulations,’ perhaps?” Violet suggested.

“You’re right,” Diana said slowly. “That would have been the correct response. I bungled it horribly, I think.”

Beside them, Emily was still silently frowning. Violet looked at her. “What is it, Emily? Did you not know such inclinations existed?”

“No,” Emily said slowly, clearly still deep in thought. “I’ve read enough of those scandalous poems you’ve forced on me over the years to understand that some ladies prefer ladies, and some men prefer men.” She paused for a moment, staring into the middle distance, still deep in thought. “However,” she continued at last, “I’m not sure how to put this in the context of what you just told me today.” She turned to Violet. “How, exactly, do two ladies achieve the matrimonial act, when they are lacking a necessary piece of… er…”

“Equipment?” Diana suggested innocently.

“Yes, quite,” Emily agreed eagerly, even as Violet shot a reproving look at Diana.

“Yes, Violet, do instruct us,” Diana agreed, turning to Violet and attempting to mirror Emily’s look of eager inquisitiveness as closely as she could.

“Why don’t you inform us, Diana?” Violet shot back. “I assume you’ve been gaining a fair share of firsthand experience of your own this week, have you not?”

It was now Diana’s turn to smile smugly. “I might have done,” she admitted. “But I think it only fair that, since you commenced this lesson with Emily, you be the one to complete it.”

“Very well,” Violet said through gritted teeth. She looked at Emily once more. “There are—other ways to achieve completion, without the presence of a… um…” She floundered.

“Instrument of love,” Diana said, straight-faced.

“Phallus,” Violet said firmly, clearly deciding that safety lay in Latin. “When Diana walked in, we were discussing how some friction in a certain area can be very pleasant—you recall the region in particular I was describing?” Emily nodded eagerly; Diana had the distinct impression that, had she a pen and piece of paper at hand, she would be taking diligent notes. “Well, in the absence of a male partner, I believe ladies devote even more attention to that particular region.”

“With fingers alone?” Emily inquired.

“Um,” Violet said. Was she blushing? Diana thought her color looked high. “And their tongues,” she added in a rush.

“Tongues!” Emily repeated in amazement. “Down there?”

“The sensation is remarkably pleasant,” Violet said, blushing in earnest now, an expression upon her face that implied fond reminiscence of an enjoyable interlude.

“I believe there are also certain substitutes for the male organ in question, which one can purchase,” Diana chimed in—if they were going to corrupt a virgin, they might as well do a thorough job of it. “I’ve yet to see one of these for myself, sadly, but I’ve heard whispers of them. I’d be unsurprised to learn that ladies of Lady Helen’s inclinations make use of these as well.”