To Kill a Kingdom(21)

“You know” – I wipe the stain from my glass – “your lipstick is smudged.”

Sakura takes in the print of dark red on the rim of my glass and presses a finger to her lips. When it comes away clean, she glowers. I can see her plainly now, as the thing I have always known she is. The snow-faced woman with lips bluer than any siren’s eye.

A blue reserved for royalty.

The natives of Págos are like no other race in the hundred kingdoms, but the royal family is a breed unto themselves. Carved from great blocks of ice, their skin is that much paler, their hair that much whiter, and their lips are the same blue as their seal.

“Have you known for a while?” Sakura asks.

“It’s the reason I’ve let you get away with so much,” I tell her. “I didn’t want to reveal your secret until I found a way to put it to good use.” I raise my glass in a toast. “Long live Princess Yukiko of Págos.”

Sakura’s face doesn’t change at the mention of her real name. Instead she looks at me blankly, as though it’s been so long that she doesn’t even recognize her own name.

“Who else knows?” she asks.

“I haven’t told anybody yet.” I emphasize the yet more crudely than necessary. “Though I don’t understand why you’d even care. Your brother took the crown over a decade ago. It’s not like you have a claim to the throne. You can go where you like and do as you please. Nobody wants to assassinate a royal who can’t rule.”

Sakura looks at me candidly. “I’m aware of that.”

“Then why the secrecy?” I ask. “I haven’t heard anything about a missing princess, so I can only assume that your family knows where you are.”

“I’m no runaway,” says Sakura.

“Then what are you?”

“Something you will never be,” she sneers. “Free.”

I set my glass down harder than I intend. “How lucky for you, then.”

It’s easy for Sakura to be free. She has four older brothers with claims to the throne before her and so none of the responsibilities my father likes to remind me are still heavy on my shoulders.

“I left once Kazue took the crown,” Sakura says. “With three brothers to counsel him, I knew I’d have no wisdom to offer that they couldn’t. I was twenty-five and had no taste for the life of a royal who would never rule. I told my brothers this. I told them I wanted to see more than snow and ice. I wanted color.” She looks at me. “I wanted to see gold.”

I snort. “And now?”

“Now I hate the vile shade.”

I laugh. “Sometimes I feel the same. But it’s still the most beautiful city in all of the hundred kingdoms.”

“You’d know better than me,” Sakura says.

“Yet you stay.”

“Homes are hard to find.”

I think about the truth of that. I understand it better than anyone, because nowhere I’ve traveled ever really feels like home. Even Midas, which is so beautiful and filled with so many people I love. I feel safe here, but not like I belong. The only place I could ever call home and mean it is the Saad. And that’s constantly moving and changing. Rarely in the same place twice. Maybe I love it because it belongs nowhere, not even in Midas, where it was built. And yet it also belongs everywhere.

I swirl the final remnants of my whiskey and look to Sakura. “So then it would be a shame if people discovered who you were. Being a Págese immigrant is one thing, but being a royal without a country is another. How would they treat you?”

“Little prince.” Sakura licks her lips. “Are you trying to blackmail your favor?”

“Of course not,” I say, though my voice says something else. “I’m simply saying that it would be inconvenient if people found out. Especially considering your patrons.”

“For them,” says Sakura. “They would try to use me and I would have to kill them. I would probably have to kill half of my customers.”

“I think that’s bad for business.”

“But being a killer has worked out so well for you.”

I don’t react to this, but my lack of emotion seems to be the exact reaction Sakura wants. She smiles, so beautiful, even though it’s so clearly mocking. I think about what a shame it is that she’s twice my age, because she’s striking when she’s wicked, and wild underneath the pretense.

“Come to Págos with me,” I say.

“No.” Sakura turns away from me.

“No, you won’t come?”

“No, that isn’t what you want to ask.”

I stand. “Help me find the Crystal of Keto.”

Sakura turns back to me. “There it is.” There is no sign of a smile on her face now. “You want a Págese to help you climb the Cloud Mountain and find your fairy tale.”

“It’s not like I can just stroll in and scale your most deadly mountain with no idea of what I’ll be dealing with. Will your brother even give me entry? With you by my side, you can advise me on the best course of action. Tell me the route I should take. Help convince the king to give me safe passage.”

“I am an expert at climbing mountains.” Sakura’s voice is wholly sarcastic.