Throttled (Wild Riders #1)(38)
My arms wrapped around his neck of their own accord as I tried to pull him closer. His lips were full and firm and I needed more. He sensed my urgency and used his hands to position my thighs on top of his before slipping his arms around my back and pulling me closer. The rough feel of his riding pants against my bare thighs sent a reminiscent chill up my spine and the friction that was building between us threatened an implosion of my will power. The feeling of being this way with him again was a jarring realization. I only ever felt this way with him. The throb between my legs needed his attention. I nipped his lip between my teeth and a moan rumbled from deep in his chest.
“I missed you so f*cking much,” he said, breaking our kiss to lower his mouth to my neck.
“I know,” I answered, breathlessly. I turned my head to give him better access as his fingers kneaded into my thighs as he tugged me closer. “I missed you too.” The effortless way I told him that I’d missed him only made what we were doing seem right.
I felt myself quickly falling under his spell. “I swear I’ll never leave you again,” he promised, moving his hand to the back of my neck as if he was scared I was going to get away. Despite my desire to believe every word he was saying at that moment, he shouldn’t have been making promises he couldn’t keep. He’d been back in Halstead for all of a hot minute and my carefully laid plans were threatening to scatter like the leaves in the fall breeze. My ability to forgive and forget, to just let myself be lost in the moment, was waning.
“What about racing?” I asked.
“We’ll figure it out. I’ll come back on breaks and you can come visit me on the road. We’ll make it work.”
He will have to leave. He will choose to race.
“We have to stop,” I said, placing my hand on his chest. “We can’t do this.” I quickly removed myself from his lap and stood up, moving away from his as quickly as possible. As I struggled to catch my breath, the reality of what I’d just done crashed down on me as I stood there looking at him. I had a boyfriend and Reid would be leaving as soon as his parents’ house was finished. Even if what he was saying was true about trying to make it work, I didn’t know if I had it in me. I had a life in Halstead… family, friends, a good career and I was nowhere near close to being ready to make a decision that would upset all of that.
“Nora,” he called out. “Would you wait just a damn minute!”
“You promised you wouldn’t push,” I said, reminding him as much as myself before I turned to walk back to the track. I had to get away from him before I did something else I’d regret. “I just need more time.”
Well that hadn’t gone exactly how I’d planned. I watched her walk away from me and back toward the party before I stood up and gave the trunk we were sitting on a good kick.
“Fuck,” I seethed. What had I said that had spooked her? It seemed like we were really getting somewhere. It felt so good to have my lips on hers again and to hold that sweet little body of hers on my lap. It was more than just the physical pull I had to her though. Sitting there with her and talking, hearing her laugh and giving me a hard time for the move I pulled on Beau. Airing how we felt about the past and the mistakes we’d made, it was everything about her that made me want her, including our history, which was the apparent deal breaker in this entire ordeal.
Did she want me to give up racing and move back to Halstead for her? I wanted to say I was ready to do that, but how could I? I’d given up everything for my career and to just let it go was not something I could do without some serious thought. Thinking about the wounded look on her face when she stood up and walked away from me had me seriously considering parking my bike for good, I would have given anything in that moment to have her back in my arms, but I couldn’t be impulsive. Look where being impulsive had gotten me with Nora. Had I known that ending things with her back then would have had both of us feeling completely miserable, I definitely would have thought it through a little better.
I gave her a few minutes to get back to the track before I headed that way. I should have just stormed after her and made her say in front of everyone that she still loved me, but the idea of causing her anymore heartache that night was enough to keep me from causing a scene.
“Where you been?” Hoyt asked when I found him chatting with Brett and Georgia. No signs of Nora anywhere. She’d probably already left with her asshat boyfriend. I couldn’t stomach the thought of her being with him. The way he’d kissed her in front of me and every other damn person at the party earlier had me seeing red. I was relieved when I saw her storm off. A little bit of that spitfire girl I’d fallen in love with a decade ago peeked out from behind that responsibly, well-adjusted adult facade she was so good at wearing now.
“Needed to clear my head,” I said, grabbing a beer from the cooler next to them.
“You mean you were scared to show your face after Beau smoked you?” Brett teased.
“Something like that,” I mumbled, before taking a drink. I wasn’t in the mood for joking around. I was in the mood to drink and try to figure out what exactly happened back in those woods.
“My sister was clearing her head too,” Georgia piped up. “Any chance you saw her?”
“Why?” I replied. “Would it even matter?”
“It might,” she suggested with a shrug. “It might make all the difference in the world.”