Throttled (Wild Riders #1)(24)
“Do we have to?”
“I’m the therapist, remember?”
“Fine. He was all up in my face, telling me how he knew that I still had feelings for him,” I explained. “I didn’t know if I wanted to slap him or kiss him or both. He’s messing with my head. He really needs to just go away,” I groaned. He was messing with me awake and asleep now. I considered telling Georgia about my dreams, but her inner therapist would have had a field day with that information and I was already regretting the discussion we were having. It felt weird to talk about these things, especially when I was talking about doing them with someone who wasn’t my boyfriend.
“So you can pretend like you don’t have feelings for him?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I guess I still do. What does that matter, though? I’m with Beau. Reid dumped me, plain and simple. I don’t think I can forgive him for that.”
“You don’t think you can? Or you don’t want to?” she asked. Her therapy game was a little too spot on. “There’s a difference.”
“I don’t want him to hurt me again,” I confessed. “You know how I was when he left. You know what it did to me that he just left and never looked back.”
“I do.” She reached over and rested her hand on my shoulder. “But I also know, from personal experience,” she added. “What it’s like to leave things unsaid and unfinished.” I knew she was referring to her not telling Jamie that she didn’t want him to join the service. It was his dream to follow in his father’s footsteps and join the Army, but it wasn’t hers. The second he enlisted, she’d been sick to her stomach with worry, and I knew that she felt like if she’d just asked him to stay, to go to college or get a regular job instead, he might still be alive.
“You think we’re unfinished?” The thought that we were anything but finished was threatening to crumble the wall of finality that I’d built up when it came to him. Between wondering what it would be like to be with him again and the actual physical presence of him, Reid was like a wrecking ball. Hell bent on making me feel things I didn’t think I wanted to feel.
“I can’t answer that.” She frowned. “I wish I had all the answers for you, but it’s your decision to make. Whether you tell him how he hurt you and tell him to piss off for good, or you give him a second chance, it’s your call. I just don’t want you to regret not knowing... whatever the outcome is.”
“You’re right,” I admitted. If nothing else, maybe explaining to him how I felt when he left would get him to back off this redemption mission he was on. Did I have any other choice but to tell him how he’d crushed me? Did I have to revisit those feelings of everything that happened when he was gone? There was so much more to the story and I wasn’t sure I could handle a retelling. “I guess I never really planned on ever seeing him again, you know?”
“Yeah. But he’s here and he wants a second chance.”
“I just don’t know if I’m really ready to give him one.” We sat in silence for a moment, neither of us having the answers to my current conundrum. “I’m going for a run,” I said, standing up. I couldn’t sit here any longer with my thoughts. At least if I was running I could burn some calories while I tried to figure out what I was going to do.
*
A half-hour into my run, I realized that in my hurry to get out of the house, I’d forgotten to grab a water bottle and decided to make a pit stop at my parents for hydration. Imagine my surprise when I rounded the corner on my normal route to see Reid’s truck sitting in my parents’ driveway.
Son of a bitch.
He was relentless, I’d give him that much. My inclination to run on by and find a drink somewhere else was beaten only by my curiosity. Surely he didn’t think he was going to get to me through my parents. They knew what happened between us. Well... some of it. They saw how upset I’d been. He could be as sweet and charming as he wanted, but there was no way they were going to go easy on him.
Or so I thought.
I opened the front door and followed the sound of laughter through the living room and into the kitchen. My mom was pouring Reid a glass of what I hoped was poison, while my dad sat across from Reid at the table. While Reid’s back was turned to me, I could see the elation on my parents’ faces. My mother fawning over him as she handed him his drink. My dad practically slapping his knee at whatever Reid was saying.
“What could possibly be so funny that I was able to slip into the house undetected,” I said from the door frame. “You know, Georgia would have a fit if she knew you were just leaving the doors unlocked for anyone to walk in.”
“Nora, honey,” my mom said, guilt oozed from her as she walked over to give me a hug. She ran her fingers through my ponytail that was the same color as hers and gave me a pat on the back—silently saying that all was well. I just shook my head. My dad waved and smiled from underneath his beard. The black hairs, like the ones on his head, were peppered with gray pieces and his mountain man appeal was starting to take on a much more distinguished vibe. Reid turned to look at me. “Reid here has been filling us in on what he’s been up to.”
“Has he now?” I ignored Reid’s ear-to-ear grin. “I’m sure it’s fascinating,” I added with little enthusiasm. “I just stopped by for a bottle of water.” I walked over to the fridge and tried to pretend that him sitting in the kitchen where we’d shared so many meals with my parents wasn’t weird.