This Time Next Year(92)

They all agreed that they would.

As Tara hurried back inside, Bev, Leila and Minnie sat down on the chairs around the patio table.

‘Jeez, I need the toilet, but I’m scared to go,’ said Bev. ‘This place is like Buckingham Palace or something.’

‘Bev, if you need the toilet, go,’ said Leila. ‘It will be more embarrassing if you wet yourself.’

‘I won’t be able to go. My bladder seizes up in fancy places.’

Tara returned five minutes later with a tray of tea things and a gooseberry tart. She had a phone balanced beneath her chin.

‘Yes, Minnie and her friends popped in … her friend is helping me set up a blog page … no, I’m not overdoing it, darling. Here, Minnie was wanting to speak to you,’ Tara said, laying down the tray and passing the phone to Minnie. ‘It’s Quinn, checking up on me.’

Minnie felt the blood drain from her face; the knot in her stomach twisted uncomfortably. Of all the ways she wanted to hear from Quinn, this was not it. She shook her head weakly, but Tara kept thrusting the phone at her.

She finally took it and walked down the garden with it. If she had to talk to him, it wouldn’t be in front of everyone else.

‘Hi,’ she said.

‘Hi Minnie,’ said Quinn. He cleared his throat. ‘So you’ve been roped in to helping with the gardening?’

‘Something like that,’ Minnie said.

The line was silent for a moment, then Quinn spoke.

‘I’m sorry I haven’t called you, I know I should have. I’ve … none of this isn’t straightforward for me.’

His voice was awkward, embarrassed. Minnie squeezed an earlobe with her free hand, the pressure distracting her from the horrible realisation of what she had suspected.

‘Why are you being like this?’ she said quietly. ‘I thought … I don’t know what I thought.’

‘Minnie,’ his voice softened, ‘I … ’ He let out a sigh. ‘I can’t just jump into something like this. I’m not sure I can handle disappointing someone again, and I know I can’t be what you need me to be.’

‘How do you know?’ she said, her voice catching in her throat. ‘I don’t want you to be anything.’

There was silence on the line. She thought maybe he’d gone.

‘I’ve already disappointed you. I can hear it in your voice.’ They were both silent for a moment. Minnie stood shaking her head. ‘Please don’t think it’s you, Minnie, you’re so … ’ Quinn took a sharp inhale of breath. ‘Do you remember that penguin we heard about at the zoo, the one in Japan who was in love with the cardboard girl?’ His voice sounded hoarse, broken.

‘Yeah,’ Minnie said, closing her eyes.

‘Well, I’m the cardboard girl. I don’t have the capacity to be a living, breathing penguin. I think Lucy was right – in what she wrote about me.’

Minnie felt tears welling in her eyes and she wiped them away furiously; she didn’t want the others to see her crying. ‘Maybe we’ll see each other at the ponds?’ he said softly.

‘I don’t think so, Quinn.’

She hung up the phone and gritted her teeth, willing the tears not to come. She took a minute to compose herself and then headed back towards the house. At least she knew now, at least there was no more deluding herself, no thinking of excuses for why he’d gone quiet. A cardboard girl was definitely not someone to weather the storm with.

She walked back over to the others and handed Tara the phone as cheerfully as she could. She got through tea and then, finally, once Fleur had finished setting up Tara’s blog and shown her how to use it, they were able to leave. As Tara thanked them and said goodbye at the door, she pulled Minnie aside.

‘I know I’ve made life difficult for him, poor boy,’ Tara said, her voice shaking. ‘I tried not to lean on him so but … when I was at my lowest, I didn’t even realise I was doing it.’

Minnie squeezed Tara’s hand. She didn’t know what to say. Tara pulled Minnie into a hug and spoke quietly in her ear. ‘Don’t give up on him, Minnie. You’re what he needs, I can see it.’

Minnie didn’t want to tell her that it was too late, she had already given up.





New Year’s Eve 2019





‘Where have you been hiding, Quinn? I’ve hardly seen you all night.’

Lucy walked towards him, her hips swaying hypnotically as she sashayed across the room in stiletto heels. She planted a firm kiss on Quinn’s lips then took him by the elbow, escorting him over to the far end of the room, away from the volume of the band. The party was in full swing; there were over two hundred people here. Quinn didn’t know he had this many friends. Lucy had arranged it all – the venue, the band, the private catering.

‘Have you talked to Rupert yet?’

‘Rupert … ’ Quinn’s eyes hovered up and to the right betraying the fact he had no idea who Rupert was or why he was supposed to speak to him.

‘Oh Quinn,’ Lucy gave a delicate foot stomp. ‘Rupert! The Lexon guy, he’s a great business contact for you. He’s also desperate to employ me. I keep telling him I’m happy at the paper, but you never know when these contacts are going to come in useful.’