This Time Next Year(44)

He remembered his father moving Quinn’s old cot back up to the attic, along with all the other boxes that had been brought down and stacked up in the spare room. He remembered walking into that room and seeing his father on the floor with his hands over his eyes, his body moving up and down making the strangest sound. When his father saw him in the doorway, he took off his shoe and threw it at the door and it slammed in Quinn’s face.

Quinn thought about that night in the bathroom a lot. If it hadn’t happened, would his mother be more like a normal mother? Would it have happened if his father had been home? Would it have happened if he had gone downstairs sooner? Mrs Jacobs the counsellor at school said he couldn’t think like that. Mrs Jacobs said the bathroom incident wasn’t the only reason his mother was like she was. She said some people were just anxious, but things could happen that made them more anxious, that made it harder for them to leave the house. Then Mrs Jacobs had mentioned him going to live with his father in New York and Quinn had stopped telling her these things about his mother.

Quinn stood up and closed the bathroom door – he didn’t like to think about all that. He padded quietly downstairs and went to the laundry room in the basement. He took the stool from the corner and opened the cupboard where all the cleaning things were kept. He pulled out a bottle of bleach and behind it he saw a paper bag. It was where she always hid things she didn’t want him to find. He wouldn’t open it – he just wanted to know if it was a Falcon.

He pulled out the bag and there was one large Falcon-shaped box and three smaller presents all wrapped in matching blue wrapping paper. He peeled away a corner of the largest box. He knew straight away it wasn’t Lego. He knew the texture of a Lego box, he knew the colours – this was too bright, too neon. He pulled away a little more paper; walkie-talkies. Who was he going to talk to on a walkie-talkie? He carefully pressed back the edge of the paper and returned the bag to the shelf.

Upstairs Quinn poured himself a lemon squash and turned on the computer in the kitchen. He picked up the postcard from his father that had arrived last week. It had a picture of the Empire State Building on the front. He turned it over and re-read his father’s words,

Quinn,

The Empire State Building is 102 storeys high. It was completed in 1931. The building has a roof height of 1,250 ft and stands a total of 1,454 ft tall. Impressive isn’t it!

Maeve and I can see it from our apartment.

Dad.



This was a standard postcard from him – a picture with some facts. Quinn saw him sometimes when he came to London for work, but the talk of Quinn visiting New York had stopped, he didn’t know why. There was no birthday card from his father today. He usually sent one about a week late. Last year he’d sent Quinn twenty dollars in the envelope. Quinn still had it, because his mother couldn’t get to the bank to change it into something he could spend.

The computer dial tone finally connected and Quinn logged onto his favourite website – a site that hosted chat forums for Star Wars fans. This is where Quinn went when he felt lonely. Talking to other people about the world of Obi-Wan and Princess Leia distracted him from the silence of his own.

He clicked on the chat forum tab and a little black box popped up on the screen:

<LukeQ has entered the chat room>

Jedi454:LukeQ, welcome back you are. How U?



Jedi454 was a regular forum user who Quinn had chatted to before.

LukeQ:Feeling Lego Falconless, Quinn typed back. He didn’t know who Jedi454 was, but he knew he would understand.

Jedi454:FanGirl90 is building one now. Wait, I’ll intro.



A new chat screen opened and Jedi454 started typing.

Jedi454:FanGirl90, meet LukeQ. He’s Falconless. She’s just landed one.



<Jedi454 has left the chat room>

LukeQ:Hi FanGirl90, why r you online if you have a Falcon to build?

FanGirl90:Had to log on here for instructions – mine is second-hand, doesn’t have all the pages!

LukeQ:How far you got?

FanGirl90:Page 11. Rest missing.

LukeQ:Send me pic.

FanGirl90:<photo attached>

LukeQ:Wow, pretty good going for a girl – assume girl you are?

FanGirl90:GirlsLikeStarWarsToo

LukeQ:None I’ve ever met.

FanGirl90:Because they are at home trying to build Millennium Falcons without instructions.

LukeQ:Do or do not, there is no try.

FanGirl90:Nice! My dad bought it second-hand for my birthday. Said ‘how hard can it be?’ Answer, very.

LukeQ:Your dad sounds cool. I wanted one for my birthday but … walkie-talkies.

FanGirl90:Ugh.

LukeQ:Ugh.

FanGirl90:Luckily lots of Star Warriors on here helping me out with photos of instructions.

LukeQ:Resourceful you are.

FanGirl90:Wish me luck LukeQ?

LukeQ:In my experience there is no such thing as luck.

FanGirl90:I think Yoda is wrong on that one.

LukeQ:Yoda is never wrong.

FanGirl90:Got to go, Mum shouting up the stairs. Maybe see you in another galaxy, LukeQ. Until then, may the force be with you.



<FanGirl90 has left the chat room> blinked on the screen.



Quinn was disappointed she had gone. He smiled to himself – who tried to build something that complicated without instructions?