This Time Next Year(34)

‘You going to find that dog for me or what?’ said her mother.

‘Look, I got her number, I said you’d call her. Here, I’m writing it down and putting it on the fridge.’

Minnie couldn’t see her mother’s face but she saw her back go rigid before she reached up to the cupboard above the stove for a can of tomatoes. This wasn’t the reaction Minnie had expected.

‘Right, ad break, what are we ordering? I got a hankering for a vanilla and pistachio mille-foy with crème anglaisey,’ said Minnie’s dad, chuckling to himself as he came through to the kitchen. ‘It doesn’t half whet your appetite, that show! Oh, you’re cooking are you, Con?’

He pulled out a kitchen chair and sank his weight down onto it. He looked back and forth between his wife and daughter, then started tapping the broken pan-handle against the wooden kitchen table. ‘What you both looking so gloomy about?’

‘Nothing, stuff and nonsense,’ said her mother briskly. ‘Right, someone get the cheese out of the fridge. Can’t have pasta without cheese, can we?’

Over dinner, Minnie broke the news about the business. She asked if she could move home for a while. Her dad kicked back in his chair, balancing it precariously on two legs.

‘That’s a real shame, love, I always loved your cooking, thought you were onto a real winner there.’

He reached out and patted Minnie’s back. When her dad said something nice to her, it made Minnie want to curl up on his lap like she had as a girl. They used to watch endless Star Wars films together, and her dad would do all the characters’ voices. Minnie turned to look at her mother, who was methodically chewing a mouthful of pasta. She swallowed loudly, then without looking at Minnie started twirling another forkful of pasta.

‘You’re not going to say anything, Mum?’

‘I think I’m getting déjà vu,’ she said, reaching for a glass of water.

‘Come on, love, that’s not fair,’ said her dad. ‘She’s not had a business fail before. There might have been other things gone wrong, but it’s not the same.’

Minnie’s mother stared wordlessly at her husband.

‘I think she means you, Dad, your business,’ Minnie said quietly.

‘Oh.’ Once he’d said the word, Dad held his lips locked in an awkward ‘O’ shape, and he lowered the chair slowly back onto all four legs.

‘I said it was a mistake,’ her mum went on, ‘I said it was a disaster waiting to happen. You didn’t even go to college, Minnie, how you supposed to know about money and bookkeeping?’

‘Leila did the books, Mum, and just because I didn’t go to university doesn’t mean I haven’t got a brain for business. It’s all been going fine for the last few years, we’ve worked our arses off, we just hit a … a rough patch.’

‘I said all this to your father. Why will no one ever listen to me?’ her mother said, shaking her head.

‘Look, I know you’re disappointed,’ said Minnie, feeling her voice catch in her throat. ‘I’m disappointed too. You think at thirty I wanted to be broke, unemployed and moving home? You think this is how I planned my life to pan out. Mum?’ She paused. ‘At least I gave it a go.’

‘Your dad gave it a go too. Gambled all our savings on that property he was doing up. Cooper Development Company might have sounded grand, but a fancy name’s not much use to you when the bottom falls out of the market.’

‘Bad luck, wasn’t it. I would have done a great job on that house,’ said her dad wistfully.

‘Some things aren’t worth the risk. You risk, you lose, that’s what I’ve learnt. Best to keep your head down and play the hand you’re dealt.’

Minnie pressed her fingernails into the underside of her chair. She felt the familiar grooves in the wood from where she’d done this before.

‘Well, if you’re coming home, there’s not much room upstairs,’ said her mother flatly. ‘The loft room’s full of all your dad’s clock bits now.’

‘I can clear that out in half a jiffy,’ said her dad, ‘or she could stay in Will’s room?’

‘And what is Will supposed to do when he comes to visit?’ said her mum.

‘He hasn’t been home in two years, Mum,’ said Minnie.

‘Give her a break, Connie. You can stay as long as you need, Minnie Moo. I’ll clear out space in your old room this afternoon,’ said her dad, reaching out to squeeze Minnie’s shoulder.

Her mother took another mouthful of food. The crushing feeling of inadequacy broke over Minnie like a wave. How could her parents spend so much of their lives fixing things and fail to see what was broken right in front of them?





New Year’s Eve 2010





‘Don’t touch that plate before it’s garnished,’ Rob the pastry chef screamed across the kitchen.

Minnie whipped her hand back from the service counter as though she’d been scalded. She hadn’t even planned on picking it up, she had just been straightening the plate. In any other environment she would have talked back, defended herself, but in this kitchen she’d quickly learnt you said, ‘Yes chef’, and took whatever criticism was dished out.