They Wish They Were Us(27)

That night, I looked around at the weird group and wondered what we each had to offer. I wondered what made me special. Why I had been plucked, instead of one of my eighty-two other classmates. Everyone else looked so ready, so alive, that my heart swelled with affection. I hoped they would become family or something like it.

After an hour, Graham’s phone buzzed with the go-ahead from Rachel. He whispered something into Shaila’s ear, and they both erupted into a fit of giggles. Nikki rolled her eyes at me, and we shared an annoyed smirk. Classic couple shit.

Then Graham cleared his throat. “Let’s go.”

He led us in a single-file line behind Nikki’s house, where the grass kissed the sand before it became beach. From there, her house looked like a UFO, dropped down to earth by chance. The eight of us continued silently, guided by the inky sky and a million little stars.

I looked up to find Orion and then Aries, the Little Dipper, too. Each one set me at ease, more signs this was all so right. My stomach flipped and I felt like I was on the brink of greatness. I knew that this was the night I had been waiting for my entire life. It had to be. It was the brightest I’d ever seen the Milky Way. We continued marching across the sand in silence for another mile until we heard the sounds of drunk people who thought they were whispering. “Shhh! They’re coming.”

A blazing bonfire came into view and soon we could hear the grainy sounds of some house song coming from a portable speaker. Graham stopped as two headlights approached. Shit, I thought. The cops.

Shaila grabbed at his hand in the dark, and they glued their shoulders together as the brightness grew bigger.

But there were no uniforms or sirens. A sand buggy stopped and someone stepped out. I squinted into the darkness. It was Adam. His eyes met mine but he didn’t smile, didn’t show any sign of recognition.

“Be quiet,” Adam said, his mouth in a hard line. “Follow me and do as I say. If you don’t there will be consequences.” He looked at me again before turning the buggy around, heading back toward the flames.

We ran after him, breathing heavily to keep up. The fire grew taller as we got closer and when we were standing right in front of it I felt like we had found the center of the earth. “Line up!” Adam yelled.

We scrambled into a row and I found myself in between Nikki and Shaila, standing so close that my fingers grazed theirs. My eyes adjusted and I made out familiar faces. Rachel. Jake. Tina. Derek Garry. They stood by class, a handful of sophomores off to the right, a smattering of juniors to the left, and the seniors in the middle with their arms crossed, holding bottles. They looked ready for a fight.

Adam cleared his throat. “Players.”

The voices rose in unison and I made out the words, crisp and clipped.

    Gold Coast Prep, hear our cries

Born and bred until we die

For years and years, our fair sea

Has held us up and kept us free

From brush to waves and dusk till dawn

We rise and fall, like kings and pawns

We’ve read the rules, we’ve learned them well

We’re Players till the end, we yell.



A chill ran down my spine and the sand stretched before us, echoing the chanted words. Wind rustled the tall grass of the dunes and waves crashed onto the shore.

And then Jake spoke. “You have been chosen by this year’s senior class to be Players. But that doesn’t mean you are Players. It just means we think you could be. This year you’ll be faced with challenges, some fun, some . . . not. If you make it through, if you choose to continue, then you will be Players. You’ll get access to things you never dreamed about.”

Along the edge of the circle, the other Players nodded their heads in solemn motions. It sounded like Jake was offering us the world.

But what would we have to do to get it?

“You’ll need to prove yourself first,” he continued. “You’ll have to show us you’re worth it, that you deserve this. Those standing before you have gone through it all.” He gestured behind him, eight in each cluster. Shadows danced on their faces. “We’ve worked hard to make this group what it is, to uphold the values and foundation of the Players before us.” He paused and flashed a devilish smile, one that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention. “We’ve also had a fuck ton of fun.”

Cheers erupted all around.

“Do as we say, listen to me, your Toastmaster, and you’ll be fine,” Jake continued. “Are you ready?” He raised a plastic cup.

“Yes!” Shaila said. Her voice rang out alone, solid, and bounced against the crackling fire.

“Very good!” Jake said. “You get first sip, then.” He winked at her and I felt the tequila sloshing in my stomach. I snuck a peek at Adam standing next to Rachel, huddled against her for warmth. His cheeks were flushed and I willed him to look my way, to remember we were in this together. But his eyes lingered on Shaila, curious if she would take the bait.

Jake walked toward Shaila and brushed his moppy light brown hair out of his eyes. He handed her a glass jug full of clear liquid. She took a hearty sip but didn’t cough or burp or make any noise at all. “Pretty good,” she said, sending giggles around the circle.

Who is this freshman? The one with courage, they must have thought. I wanted that freshman to be me.

Shaila passed me the jug and I finally felt Adam’s gaze. I sipped and held back disgust as best I could. It smelled like the inside of an ear piercing, and tasted like sweat and salt and my own fluids. I handed it off and felt fire in my lungs. Later, I learned this was our first pop. We had passed.