They May Not Mean To, But They Do(72)

Aunt Freddie always slipped her a crisp dollar bill when she saw her.

“You’re a miser,” Ruby said.

“I’m not.”

“It means you love money.”

“Oh. Then I am. So what?”

“Why do you love money?” Joy asked.

“I collect it.”

Joy nodded. Better than fingernail clippings. Molly had collected fingernail clippings.

Molly grabbed Cora and kissed her. She was touched that Cora thought to ask where Freddie was. Sometimes she wondered if any of them remembered Freddie existed when Freddie wasn’t standing directly in front of them. Particularly Joy. Since Molly’s divorce, her life had become less and less real to her mother. Molly knew her mother was proud of her, knew Joy liked Freddie, but she knew also that she existed in a different way for her mother now, that the new reality was perceived dimly, as if the lights had gone out when she got divorced and her mother had never turned them back on. Molly plus a husband plus a child to raise had made sense to Joy. That was a discernible unit, that family of three. But Molly and Freddie in California? That was not a unit. It was an absence.

“I wish Aunt Freddie were here,” she said to Cora.

“Yeah, why isn’t she?”

“Good question. Why isn’t she?” Daniel asked, as if this were the first moment he’d noticed her absence.

“Daniel, she’s with her father,” Coco said. “All her sisters and brothers are coming to L.A., remember?”

“That Freddie is a fine, fine person,” said Joy.

Molly looked at her in surprise.

“I could see that when I stayed with you. A fine person.”

Molly smiled, a grin really. “Thank you, Mommy.”

“Why are you thanking me?” Joy asked fondly. “I didn’t say you were a fine person. You’re lucky Freddie puts up with you.”





50

Freddie let her father open the barbershop door for her, discreetly helping him. It was the third time they had been to that barbershop in three days.

“Mr. Hughes! Good to see you.”

“I need a haircut, my good man.”

The barber caught Freddie’s eye. She nodded slightly.

“Okay, Mr. Hughes! Sit right here.”

Ever since Freddie told her father about the impending visit of his four other children, he had been insisting he needed a haircut. The insistence continued, the two haircuts in the last two days notwithstanding.

The barber was a stolid middle-aged man whose father had cut Duncan’s hair until his retirement ten years ago.

“How’s your father?” said Duncan.

“The same. How are you?”

“Still here.”

They’d had the same exchange the day before and the day before that.

“Thanks, Mel. Dad was really eager to come in,” Freddie said.

“Oh yeah, we’re always happy to see Mr. Hughes.”

Duncan hummed a little, then faded away for a moment, then caught his own eye in the mirror. “Hello, handsome.”

“You do look sharp, Dad.”

He was pleased, and as they drove back to Green Garden, he read the signs they passed out loud as if they were lines in a dramatic play. It had always been one of his car trip games. He seemed like his old self and Freddie said nothing, not wanting to break the spell.





51

Sometimes, Joy almost missed the red tricycle.

“Maybe I’ll come with you,” she said when Coco and the girls set off to the market.

But the market was about to close and they could not wait for Joy to get herself together to go. No one asked her to do errands at the house Upstate. No one asked her to do anything at all. She could have been another cushion on the old sagging couch, she thought, as everyone came and went, busy with things that had once been the things that had busied her, though even the cushions, covered by her mother’s petit point, were more useful than she was. No one leans on me, she thought.

At least she could listen to the radio, now that everyone was out of the house. They hated the scratchy sound of her old portable radio. She turned it on, but it was out of batteries. The extra batteries were not in the drawer where she had always kept them. That drawer was filled with coffee filters for Coco’s complicated machine. The days were long for Joy, longer than even a summer day should be.

There was some excitement when Ben showed up. He surprised them, arriving on the same train as Daniel. The girls introduced him to the dog, who leaped in the air and shrieked in uncanny, high-pitched glee. Ben patted Gatto, and Molly patted Ben.

“Dinner!” Coco said, and rang the cowbell outside even though they were all already together.

At the table, Ben said he had an announcement to make. No, Grandma, I’m not pregnant. The little girls laughed and pushed each other. Not pregnant, but moving back to New York for August, a job as a paralegal, enrolled in an LSAT study course at night, signed up to take the exam at the end of the month.

“You can stay in my apartment,” Joy said. “Would that be helpful?”

Ben gave a sheepish smile. “Well, as a matter of fact, I knew you wouldn’t mind, so I kind of already left my stuff there. The doorman let me in.”

“But you won’t get to be in so many parades if you leave New Orleans,” Cora said. “And wear costumes.”