Then She Vanishes(84)
‘Mum,’ says Heather. She pulls her knees up to her chest. She looks impossibly young and vulnerable, thinks Margot, assessing her daughter in her oversized pyjamas. She’s lost weight since the … incident. She swings her legs out of bed and Margot jumps up from her chair. Heather is still a little unsteady on her feet. The head injury has caused a lack of balance, although they’ve been assured this is only temporary.
‘What is it, sweetheart? Do you need the loo?’
She shakes her head, then winces, touching her bandage gingerly. ‘No. I need … I need to tell you something.’ She pats the bed next to her, and Margot sits. The bed is high off the floor and Margot’s legs dangle like a child’s.
‘What is it?’ They’re sitting so close that their thighs are touching. Margot realizes, with a jolt, that Heather has suggested she sit so close so that the police at the door can’t hear what she’s about to say. Straight away Margot’s heart begins to beat faster.
‘Jess is going to write a piece about me. With my blessing. I’m hoping it will make the public understand a bit more, that they know I’d never be capable of killing the Wilsons. Not when I have Ethan to think about. It might help if … when … this all goes to trial.’
Margot’s holding her breath. ‘Right?’
‘My brain’s been all over the place since the accident. I can’t remember taking a gun to the Wilsons. I can’t remember driving back to the caravan park and trying to shoot myself in the barn. I can’t remember falling and banging my head. Since …’ she swallows, and Margot’s insides feel as though they’ve turned to ice as she wonders what her daughter is about to say next ‘… since it all happened I’ve been dreaming a lot. All these different thoughts have been racing through my head, fragments of memory. I’ve been trying to piece it all together …’ A tear falls from Heather’s eyes and drops onto her hand resting in her lap. Margot stares in horror at the teardrop, unable to move, to comfort.
Heather swipes at the tears. ‘I loved Flora. You have to believe me when I tell you that. I wanted to protect her. She was different from me. Flaky … dreamy. I never meant to hurt her …’
Margot puts her hand to her throat and fingers her gold locket, bracing herself for Heather’s next words.
Heather turns to stare at her mother and grasps her hand with such intensity that Margot almost pulls off the necklace. ‘Now I’ve got Ethan, I understand,’ she says. ‘I can imagine how you must feel. The pain of never knowing what happened. The torment. It’s not fair to you, Mum. I’m so sorry. I knew the body at Clive Wilson’s house couldn’t belong to Flora. I’m going to tell you what really happened to her, okay?’ She squeezes Margot’s hand. ‘And then you can decide what to do.’
45
August 1994
The spell had been broken. Just like that.
They were walking in St James’s Park, admiring the pelicans. It had been romantic. The sun had been shining and she’d linked her arm through Dylan’s, like they were a proper couple. How grown-up she’d felt, how she’d enjoyed the admiring glances they’d received. Until Dylan went and ruined it.
Now he stood before her, in his tie-dye T-shirt and baggy jeans, his dark hair flopping into his bright blue eyes, and smiled the slow, lazy smile that used to turn her insides to mush. But not now. Now, instead of rushing up and throwing her arms around him, like she would have done earlier, or yesterday, the only desire she felt was the urge to punch him hard in his stupid, idiotic face.
‘What?’ he said, throwing his arms out. ‘What have I said?’
She placed her hands on her hips, like her mother did when she got cross with them. ‘Oh, I don’t know. Perhaps the little thing about wanting me to help you peddle your pathetic drugs. I thought you wanted to come to London to spend time with me. Away from Tilby. But no … no, of course not. You just want me to join your … empire,’ she spat.
He lowered his voice so that the couple next to them couldn’t hear. ‘Speedy has a good contact here. Said he’ll give them to me on the cheap.’ He walked towards her with the arrogant swagger she used to find so attractive, but now repellent. ‘Come on, babe. You’re sixteen. You could come with me when the fair moves on … There’s good money to be had from this, if we play our cards right.’
‘What a great future you’re offering me.’ She couldn’t help the sarcasm that dripped from her tongue. ‘A Bonnie and Clyde future.’
He laughed, but his eyes darted about nervously. She was getting loud and he was worried who could hear. ‘I’m not suggesting we kill anyone.’
‘Aren’t you?’
He stepped forward and tried to encircle her with his arms. ‘Babe. You like it. I know you do. I saw how you were when you snorted that coke the other night … but you don’t have to take drugs. Just help me sell them.’ His eyes clouded. ‘I owe Speedy and his brother Clive money, babe. I need to do this. I can’t mess with them.’
She pulled away from him. ‘It’s wrong. I don’t want any part of it.’ She’d felt out of control at the party the other night and she hadn’t liked it. She’d looked around at the crowd she was with, most of whom were off their heads on some substance or other, and she’d been disgusted by them all.