The Wolf Border(115)
Ms Caine, if you’ve got a minute, can I have a word?
Before leaving Holyrood, she looks in on the main debating chamber – a cyclone of wood and glass, acres of air above the bisected seats. There is something medieval about it, too, redolent of cruick barns and meeting houses. She is impressed, far more than she thought she would be. The place did not exist when she was a child, is less than twenty years old, but in that time much has changed, the fabric of British politics, state definitions. It can be done, she thinks, if people want it badly enough, if they are tired, and hopeful. She stalls, wanders the hallway, reads a notice about the architect – a Catalan, controversially chosen at the time, though widely celebrated now. The result for the pack is good, as good as it can be, better even than their original situation, and yet she still feels conflicted, and as if she has been beaten. The others are waiting for her outside. It’s dark, but sails of light arc from the parliament building. Huib and Sylvia are chatting excitedly with Thomas; they are all laughing. They clap as she approaches.
Superbly handled, Rachel, Thomas says, putting a hand on her back. And good that you had a private word with Simon. No doubt he wants you as chief advisor up here.
She does not fill him in on the private conversation she has just had, but he is not widely off the mark and she must think carefully about the proposal.
I was just saying to Huib, Thomas continues, that you and he mustn’t worry about jobs and pay and accommodation or any such thing. This is absolutely unforeseen. We won’t be seeing you out in the cold. You’ve both done a terrific job.
She nods and says nothing.
Shall we go?
Thomas leads the way across the grounds.
I’ve got a taxi booked to take us back to the airport. Honor’s reserved rooms in the Sheridan. We’ll get an early start tomorrow, but tonight we should celebrate!
She remains quiet on the walk to the rank while the others discuss the events.
This will suit Douglas very nicely, Thomas says. A new icon for a new nation. I wouldn’t be surprised if the wolf ends up on the Scottish flag.
Sylvia laughs.
I’m glad they’ve gone to a good home. I think Mummy would have been so happy.
She would. I am, too, Soo-Bear. Very happy.
He kisses his daughter and opens the taxi door for her – Sylvia slides in. Their etiquette is flawless, as ever. Thomas Pennington is unfathomable, Rachel decides. He is not mad. Such a persona is a front that works well in the southern offices, and always will. The ebullient, boyish elite, which is anything but harmless, and masks, in fact, something very dangerous. He fits his position, or the position has created him to suit. But what is at the core, she cannot tell. Nothing, perhaps, a vacancy. Or the most ardent conviction – I am right, therefore I have the right. He is subject to different laws of gravity, that’s all. No doubt she will be offered a generous settlement, a payoff. Her silence radiates dissatisfaction, and she feels sorry for Huib, though he seems in no way worried. Zen acceptance; he will move on to another job, thinking it fortuitous and an adventure, which, by virtue of his temperament, it will be. As she is getting into the taxi, Thomas leans towards her, and speaks softly, with the sincerity of the damned.
It’s been super working with you on this, a privilege. I care very much about what happens to them, Rachel. That’s really all I’ve ever cared about. I hope you can see that.
She shakes her head.
I can see exactly what’s happened.
It is not a threat, and there’s nothing more she can say. No doubt he believes what he says, but his tone is so equitable that she wants to hit him. Or is he to be congratulated? She wonders. Has he achieved something unarguably worthwhile, no matter the means? No other individual in the country was in a position to do what he has done. He is an accelerant in the world. An environmentalist, a master tactician, and a spoilt child. She gets into the taxi, and he closes the door behind her.
They drive through the tall, steepled city, the castle spot-lit and looming above, the new trams sounding their bells. After a few minutes, she tells them to let her out, that she would prefer to get the train home tonight. It sounds churlish, but she has the excuse of needing to get back to Charlie. She does want to see the baby, but she also wants to sit alone, quietly, in a carriage, with the blacked-out landscape flushing by, and think – or not have to think. Huib offers to accompany her, his comrade spirit undented by her mood, but she tells him, no, stay, enjoy the evening and the flight tomorrow. The taxi detours and drops her at Waverley station.
Keep your train receipt, Thomas tells her as she gets out.
The next train to Penrith is not for an hour; she has just missed the previous one. She finds a bench at the far end of the platform, away from the travelling throngs. She calls Lawrence and lets him know what has happened, what time she will be back, and that she will be coming north again the next day. A light aircraft has been arranged for her to monitor the progress of the wolves as they make their way up the country, and then she will be required to liaise with various local groups, smooth the way for Scotland’s new hunter. The contract offered is temporary, with moderate government pay, but suitable, more in keeping with what she is used to earning, and she is not yet ready to let them go. First she must pick up her car, and her son, speak to her brother and to Alexander, explain what she has to do.
The station rattles and clanks with trains arriving and departing; the tannoy announces which are late, or boarding, or cancelled. Pigeons coo from the roof, flurrying between wrought-iron rafters, swapping positions between the metal spikes designed to deter them. She stares at the ground. A pile of feathers near the bench where a hawk has been at work. Sweet wrappers, crushed cans, the grey boles of chewing gum trodden flat. The wind on the platform is blissfully cold, and bears the consoling thought of winter, an end, or a beginning. She takes out her phone and dials the number of the office at Chief Joseph.