The Venice Sketchbook(82)

I thought that might soften her a little, but it didn’t. “You’d better take that bath,” she said. “If you got sick, I would have to look after you.”

And she stomped into the kitchen, slamming the door behind her.

I went into the bathroom and was so upset that I turned on the geyser too fast, resulting in a dreaded explosion and Signora Martinelli hammering on the door.

“Now you burn down my house!” she shouted. “I want you out of here.”

I let the bath fill and lowered myself, feeling the life coming back to my frozen limbs. But I was still shivering. What would I do? One thing was absolutely clear after that encounter, and that was I couldn’t go home. When she was glaring at me, accusing me, all I could see was my mother, saying exactly the same things. Bringing shame to her, who wouldn’t for a moment think of what I might be going through. By the time I got out of the bath, I was calmer. I’d find another room. There were rooms aplenty in the city. The accademia would have a list. Then I thought, Do I want to go through another landlady, who might feel exactly the same as the signora? Why not find myself a flat for rent? Leo was putting money into an account for me. That should be enough to pay for a small place of my own. The idea seemed appealing. No more having to tiptoe in and out, sit at dinner and be polite when I didn’t feel like eating, and having a cat find its way into my room at odd hours.

Then I took this decision one step further. Leo could find a place for me. He had offered to help. He wanted to help. He knew the city better than I did and might well know of a suitable flat. I wrote him a note and asked him to meet me at the accademia at our usual place. I’d post it in the morning—that is, if I could leave the building. I peered out of my window to see nothing but water below. No hint of where the canal ended and the walkway beside it began. I realized this would make venturing out precarious. How easy it would be to step off terra firma into a canal.

But by the morning, the water had receded with the tide. The streets were covered with mud and seaweed, making them slippery, but at least I could reach the postbox and then my classes. Signora Martinelli had put out a roll and a slice of cheese for me but was nowhere to be seen, so I left without having to face her, for which I was glad. I realized that Leo wouldn’t get my note until the next day, so I made use of my free time by going to a clothing shop and buying a big jacket and a knitted skirt that would stretch with me. When I had my own space, I’d attempt to make some clothes as fabric was cheap in the market.

That evening the same situation: cold meats and bread put out for me and no sign of my landlady. I was so shocked that I could hardly eat. Here was a woman who had been nothing but friendly to me until now. I had been a model tenant—no noise, no visitors, no late nights, and I helped with the household chores. But in her mind I was now condemned to hell, and therefore she could have no contact with me in case my sin somehow came to roost on her. I was glad this wasn’t my idea of God or religion!





CHAPTER 31


Juliet, Venice, December 11, 1939

The next day was Sunday and it was still raining. Again my landlady left food for me and disappeared to her own room. On Monday we’d had another episode of aqua alta with the high tide, and I had to pick my way across patches of standing water and stranded seaweed to get to the accademia. But I came out into the rain after morning classes to find Leo hidden under a big black umbrella.

“Ciao, bella,” he said, bending forward to kiss my cheek.

“You shouldn’t do that,” I said. “People will see.”

“We Italians kiss everybody,” he said. “It means nothing. Shall we have something to eat?”

“All right. Let’s go somewhere quiet where we can talk.”

“Good. Come under my umbrella. There is room for two.”

I joined him, conscious of his closeness, the warmth of his breath on my cold cheek.

“So you experienced your first aqua alta, did you not? I hope you didn’t get caught outside. It can come up so fast.”

“I did get caught, and drenched. The traghetto was not operating in the storm, and I had to walk all the way around to the bridge.”

“You poor thing.”

“More than you know,” I said. “My landlady was most solicitous and helped me to take off my wet clothes—and then she saw my belly and she flew into a rage. She accused me of being a loose woman and said she wanted me out of her house immediately.”

“Dio mio!” he exclaimed. “Still, it is not a bad thing, huh? You would want a home of your own as you prepare for the birth.”

I hadn’t really let myself think about this too much. Would I have the baby at home? In hospital? And if an adoption was to be arranged, would they take the baby from me immediately?

“Don’t worry.” Leo changed the umbrella to the other hand and slipped his arm around me. “I will find you a good place to live. A place where you can be happy, yes?”

“That would be wonderful,” I said.

“Give me a day or two and let me see.” He came to a halt outside a rather grand-looking trattoria and ushered me inside. We then had a meal of spaghetti with clam sauce, a veal cutlet and for dessert a sponge cake with a hot chocolate sauce. I ate every morsel, realizing that I had eaten almost nothing for the past twenty-four hours. It would be good to cook for myself, I thought. I could eat the food I wanted, good nourishing food like the doctor recommended.