The Venice Sketchbook(13)
Caroline was furious. She got all the hard work, the day-to-day slog, and Josh would be there when Teddy opened his presents, went to the beach, hunted Easter eggs. But then, she had to agree that his schooling was important and should not be interrupted. At least he’d get a good private school education now. She’d make sure Josh paid for that.
She went about her daily life mechanically, trying not to feel anything, being strong for her son’s sake. On weekends, she took Teddy and fled to her place of refuge, the house shared by her grandmother and great-aunt. It had been Caroline’s only real home since her own parents divorced when she was ten. Her archaeologist mother had always been off somewhere exotic, flitting in and out of Caroline’s life like a butterfly, bringing her presents from distant lands before disappearing again. Her father had promptly remarried, and the new wife had, in quick succession, produced the sons he had always dreamed of. So Caroline had spent her holidays from boarding school with Granny and Great-Aunt Lettie, whose real name, never used by the family, was Juliet. There she had always found peace, love and acceptance. She found it now.
“I never thought much of that husband of yours,” Great-Aunt Lettie said in a tight, disapproving voice. “I always thought he was a bit of a bounder. Flighty. Remember how he copied that design of yours once for his project in art school? And the teacher had the nerve to suggest that you had copied him?”
Caroline nodded. The memory hurt, but also created more doubts in her mind. Had Josh used any of her designs in the New York competition? How many times had he betrayed her?
She looked at Aunt Lettie, sitting serene and still in her chair by the window. It was where she could always be found, the light streaming on to her face, her beloved radio in front of her. She had lost her sight years earlier. The doctors had diagnosed glaucoma, but she had refused any treatment or surgery, allowing the light to gradually fade from her life. Caroline knew she had previously been an efficient private secretary in banking until her failing sight made her retire to live with her widowed sister. And this was how Caroline had always known her. Sitting by her window, feeling the warmth of the sun or hearing the pattering of the rain, listening to the news, plays, music on the radio, just like the old days.
“So what will you do?” Aunt Lettie asked. “Will you contest the divorce?”
“What’s the point?” Caroline sagged. “He won’t be coming back, whatever I do. He’s found exactly what he always wanted: fame, fortune, no domestic responsibilities.”
Aunt Lettie stretched out her thin white hand and found Caroline’s knee. “You will get through this, I promise you. We humans have the capacity to survive almost anything. Not only to survive but to come through triumphant. Another door will open. You’ll see. A better one. A safer one. A brighter future.”
Caroline took the old hand and squeezed it. “Thank you, dear Auntie. I’m so lucky I have you and Granny. You two are my rocks.”
Great-Aunt Lettie smiled a sad sort of smile.
“You could give up your place in London and move down here with us,” Granny said at dinner that night. “There are good schools nearby for Teddy.”
“What about my job?”
“The commute is not impossible.”
“But long, and expensive,” Caroline countered.
“Do you enjoy your job?”
“Not particularly,” Caroline admitted. “It’s mainly office work, routine stuff. Occasionally I’m allowed to arrange a fashion page, choose garments, but on the whole it’s quite dreary.”
“Then use this as a new beginning for you as well,” Granny said. “Show that no-good husband of yours that you can succeed without him.”
“You’re very kind, Granny. I’ll think about it. I must decide what’s best for Teddy.”
Caroline kept up her old routine until Teddy’s summer holidays, when Josh telephoned to say that Desiree had rented a place in Beverly Hills for a few months. A mansion with a pool. Teddy would love it. And there was already a nanny in place for Desiree’s daughter, Autumn—just a year younger than Teddy. Josh would fly over and get Teddy as soon as school was over.
Caroline didn’t have the nerve to ask what had happened to the former Mr Desiree. Husbands and traditional relationships didn’t seem to matter in the world of a pop star, if you could believe the newspapers. Teddy was over the moon that he was going to see his daddy and fly on a plane to a house with a swimming pool. Josh arrived. They exchanged polite pleasantries, and off Teddy went. Caroline watched him bounding with excitement into the taxi, then waving through the window, a big smile on his face. And she tried not to feel betrayed and resentful.
Teddy telephoned her almost every day. He was really good at swimming now. He could dive off the side and pick up a ring from the bottom of the pool. Daddy and Desiree had taken them to Disneyland, and he had been on the Matterhorn and it went really fast and Autumn was scared of the haunted house, but he wasn’t. Caroline had to admit he was having a wonderful adventure, but worried he’d find his old life a disappointment when he came home.
During the summer, Caroline had given more thought to Granny’s suggestion. She had checked out schools near Granny’s house in Surrey. She could easily commute up to London until she decided what she wanted to do with her life. And she wouldn’t be paying rent on a flat she didn’t really love. She’d wait and see how she fared with expenses after child support until she made the final decision, she decided. When Josh came back with Teddy at the beginning of September, she’d know.