The Trouble With Quarterbacks(52)
His whole body sort of sags as if he’s never been more disappointed.
“I can’t go with you. I have to stay and take my reserved spot at the table or it’ll look horrible. I’ve committed to being here for the charity.”
My eyes go wide. “Of course! I understand. I wouldn’t expect you to leave with me anyway. I’ll go and we can regroup tomorrow or something? After we’ve had some time to cool off?”
He nods, and I’m not going to lie, it’s extremely awkward to sort of shuffle a step back and break his hold on me. It’s not a breakup, but it feels an awful lot like one. He looks at me like I’m tearing his heart out, and I probably don’t look much better myself.
I force my body to turn and leave. It’s for the best.
Out in the hall, it’s quiet and empty. Everyone is inside there, with the band and the crowd and the noise of it all.
The city street is just what I need, packed with real people and their real problems. No one seems to care at all about me as I reenter it. The photographers have all gone home. Workers are dismantling the red carpet, and I pass by them unnoticed. I know I could call Pat and have him come round to get me, but it doesn’t feel right to ask him to do that. Besides, he’s not my employee. I can’t just ask him to drive me around for free. He’s on Logan’s payroll.
Instead, I start to walk. I’m highly aware of what I’m wearing and how little protection this dress provides me, so I eventually bite the bullet and flag down a cab. It makes my stomach hurt to spend money on things like this. I can’t even look as the ticking dollars start to accumulate as the driver heads back toward my flat.
We don’t talk, and I feel bad for being such a lousy customer. He probably thinks I’m always this rude, but well, I guess we’re all allowed to have a bad day every now and then. When we arrive, I thank him for the trip and try not to groan as I swipe my card and pay for the fare.
It’s too much. All of it.
Maybe I’m just not equipped to be in Logan’s life this way. Maybe I haven’t got the makeup to deal with women like Melody. After all, I couldn’t even smell her bullshit in the loo. I thought she was really being truthful, but now that I’ve had a bit of time to mull it over, I know I believe Logan. He was all over me at his party, in the pool, and Melody was there. If they were really dating, she would have flipped when she saw him with me.
No. I realize now that she was playing a game—a game she’s much better at than I am.
I sigh as I take the stairs up to the flat, and I’ve already braced myself for what Kat and Yasmine will say when I open the door.
Kat sits up on the sofa in surprise when I stroll in. “You’re home early! Is everything all right?”
The answer is a long one, and I don’t bother starting to reply until after they’ve helped me out of my dress and I’ve had a nice long shower. I don my comfiest pajamas and walk back out into the living room with damp hair and a bare face. I feel loads better already.
“Spill,” Yasmine insists, and I do. I tell them every detail, from the supply closet onward, and they listen with wide eyes until the very end.
“So what are you going to do? Even though I think Logan was being honest, it doesn’t change the fact that things have gotten bloody complicated. Are you going to walk away and try to find a less difficult relationship? Maybe with a normal bloke?”
I shake my head and stand up to grab a snack. I was meant to eat supper at the gala, and well…that didn’t happen, so I’m bloody starving.
“Let’s not go down that road right now. I don’t have the head space for it, to be honest.”
“All right, fine. Let’s just forget it all for tonight, shall we?” Kat says, patting the cushion beside her after I grab a bag of popcorn. “And if you want, you can come round to a cleaning job with me in the morning.”
She’s offering because I complained about the cab fare home.
“Thanks, I’ll definitely join you. Can’t believe I spent all that money on that silly dress, even if it was from a resale shop. Maybe I can get them to buy it back.”
Later, after we’re nearly done with the movie, Logan rings my mobile.
I consider answering it, and then I think better of it. It’s late and I still haven’t quite worked out what I’ll say to him when we speak next.
He doesn’t phone again or text, and I go to bed with a pit in my stomach. Nothing feels quite right, and I think maybe I’ve really gone and mucked everything up.
The whole point of me not walking the red carpet with Logan was so we could keep our relationship private and under the media’s radar, but the moment he kissed me in Gotham Hall, our illusion of privacy was shattered.
I’ve officially been thrust into the limelight whether I like it or not, and I find that out the hard way: by waking up the next morning to a million texts on my mobile from people shouting at me in all caps.
YOU ARE ALL OVER TWITTER!
GIRL! You’re famous!! WTH???
Hi there! It’s Amy Nichols! I’m a friend of Kat’s. We did that summer holiday together years back? Anyway, I was wondering if you’d fancy coming on my podcast so we could chat about your relationship with Logan Matthews?