The Trade(28)

Why did I think going on a couples’ vacation was a good idea, especially with my sister?

Keeping my eyes ahead of me, my glasses thankfully blocking the sun, I say, “Glad you guys could make it out of your room for some air.”

I don’t have to look to the side to see Milly’s face heat with embarrassment. I know my sister well enough to understand what she gets shy about, and her physical relationship with Carson is one of them.

“We lost one of Milly’s earrings,” Carson says, stretching out. “Spent a few hours looking for it, then realized, she didn’t bring earrings with her.”

“Ah, is that what the kids are calling it now? Looking for a lost earring?”

“Clever, right?” Carson smirks at me.

“Can we not talk about earrings, please?” Milly asks in embarrassed desperation. “Especially not in front of my brother. It’s humiliating.”

“It’s not humiliating,” Carson says, quickly sitting up. “Don’t be ashamed for wanting some alone time with your husband.” His voice is firm but loving.

Backing him up, I say, “He’s right, Mills. Nothing wrong with spending time with your husband, but let’s not get into detail about it with me, huh?”

“We weren’t getting into detail,” Milly defends.

“The term ‘looking for earrings’ made my mind wander. I don’t need shit like that.”

Carson pauses, looks out in the distance, and then chuckles. “Man, what I wouldn’t give to be in your head right now.”

“Trust me, there’s so much fucked-up stuff going on in my brain right now, and none of it has to do with you two.”

Milly lets out a distressed breath and faces me, pressing her hand to my arm in concern. “Cory, I’m so sorry. If you want to stay with Carson, I really don’t mind sleeping with Natalie.”

“After you two just looked for earrings in the sheets?” I cringe. “Nah, I’m good, Mills.”

“What, you don’t want to look for earrings with me?” Carson asks on a chuckle and then rubs his hand over his face. “Shit, that’s something Jason would say.”

“Completely,” I say. “He’s gotten to you.”

Carson looks to the side, checking for Jason and then says, “Don’t let him know; he’ll never let me live it down.”

“Can’t make any promises.”

“Are you two done?” Milly asks. “This is serious, Cory. If you want to switch rooms with me, please let me know. I feel terrible that I brought you here, and now you have to share a room with Natalie. I can’t imagine what you might be feeling right now.”

Looking at the hills covered in palm trees and greens, it feels like we’re in the middle of the Amazon jungle. “She’s divorced.”

“What?” Milly asks.

From the corner of my eye, I see Carson tilt his glasses down and ask, “What?”

I nod. “Yup. I asked her if her husband was going to be okay with us sharing a room, and she said I didn’t need to worry because she’s divorced.”

“I don’t . . . he was . . . what?” Milly asks, trying to comprehend the news.

“Apparently they’ve been separated for a while. Didn’t really get too much into it, but all I know is that there is no husband in question.”

“Was not expecting that,” Carson says, lying back down.

“Neither was I. How did we not know about this, Carson?”

“No idea, Mills. Jason isn’t exactly taciturn. Especially surprising given it’s been for a while.”

Tentatively, Milly asks, “How do you feel about it?”

“I mean, I like her.”

“Dude, you more than like her,” Carson says. “You pretty much have heart eyes whenever she’s around.”

“No, I don’t,” I answer, feeling self-conscious. Shit, do I have heart eyes when she’s around? I mean, I do feel this piece of excitement cracking, coming out of its shell, growing into something more consuming with every minute I spend with her.

“You kind of do,” Milly says. “Which is totally okay, because I don’t think she knows you well enough to understand you’re not just being friendly.”

Jesus Christ. Way to be cool, Cory.

“But that doesn’t matter.” Then she shakes my arm, excitedly. “Cory, she’s available. That means you can make a move.”

I shake my head. “No, I can’t.”

“Why the hell not?” Carson asks, not facing me, but engaging in the conversation.

“Because, she told me she’s not interested in a boyfriend, just flings.”

“Oh shit, yeah, flings are awful. Think of all that sex? God, what a torment you’d have to endure,” Carson deadpans like a smartass.

The idea of a fling with Natalie makes me sick to my stomach. I can’t imagine what one night, or even a week of sex would be like with her, but then to just toss it away, shake hands, and be on our way? What I know about Natalie, I like, and she’s the first woman I’ve ever thought about having more with. And despite not being ready for retirement, I’m ready for more relationship wise.

Sitting up, I turn to face them both, hands clasped in front of me. “I don’t want to be her rebound,” I say quietly. “I’m not looking for a one-night stand here, or even a week-long stand. I’m looking for something that’s going to last, that will carry me through the season. I’m looking for someone who will be a partner, by my side . . .” I pause. “Like you two.”