The Tourist Attraction (Moose Springs, Alaska #1)(43)

“Bite me.”

Okay. Well, if that was how today was going to play…

Graham wasn’t the biggest of guys, but he’d earned his fair share of strength hauling downed logs out of the woods for his carving. He was more than capable of snagging this idiot by the collar and hauling him right back out of his car. Enzo took a sloppy swing at him and missed, stumbling. Graham didn’t bother returning the favor. In another time and place, Enzo might have put up a better fight, but his eyes were glazed with more than alcohol.

“Do you know who I am?” Enzo demanded.

Graham frowned at him. “I couldn’t care less. Get in the back seat.”

“What?”

“Either I call the cops on you and risk getting stuck here to be Harold-ed, or I drive you two idiots home.”

“There isn’t a back seat.”

“Noooooo seat…” Haleigh echoed before dissolving into mindless giggles all over again.

“That’s your problem to figure out.”

Every moment Enzo and Haleigh blinked stupidly at him, Harold got closer. So Graham just aimed them both at the passenger seat and gave a little nudge, letting the pieces fall as they may.

Which was how Graham ended up in a stupidly expensive sports car, his dog’s wagging butt on a Prada purse. A drunken Haleigh cooed and petted Jake, her own butt in the way every time Graham had to shift. Beneath dog, purse, and woman was a very squashed Enzo, half-passed out.

“Someone kill me,” Graham muttered to himself.

Haleigh poked her half-conscious boyfriend with a long fingernail. “Killian’s going to kill you if he finds out someone else drove.”

Enzo’s response was a garbled mumble.

“This is your idea of a vacation, huh?” Graham ignored the confused gateman at the resort entrance and just kept going. When he pulled up in front of the hotel, the result was too many bodies tumbling out into the waiting valet’s arms.

Jake wasn’t as familiar with their location as other places in town. Tucking his tail, he whined as all the new smells assaulted him.

“Jake, stay.” A firm barking order glued his pup’s paws to the pavement as Graham tossed the keys to a second valet and rounded the back of the car. He scooped Jake up under one arm, catching Haleigh around the waist to keep the weaving woman on her heels and not face-planted on pavement.

Since Enzo had been an ass last night to Zoey, Graham didn’t mind watching him trip and tumble to the concrete sidewalk.

“These belong to you,” he told the staff, shaking his head at the two drunks. “Don’t let them drive until you’re sure they’re sober.”

“Sir, we can’t—”

A snarl of frustration pulled from Graham’s throat as he handed Haleigh off to a valet. “They’re. Drunk. Handle it, or I’m going directly to the Shaws.”

“Sir. Remain calm. Please, stay calm.”

Closing his eyes, Graham counted to ten, then counted backward from ten, then thought about football for a while. Then he opened his eyes and looked at the kid standing in front of him. Good old Grass had come to the valets’ rescue, eyes reddened from the night shift and expression determined. Armed with a cell phone and some sort of martial arts stance, Grass edged between the valets and Graham, keeping one eye on the inebriated pair being helped into the hotel and one on Graham. The phone was probably already set to 911.

“I have a puppy.” Hoisting Jake higher up his side, Graham tried to look unthreatening. “Can’t ninja-kick a guy with a puppy.”

“Sir, that’s a full-grown dog, sir.”

“Kid, you have got to lighten up.”

“Sir, remain calm!”

“I am calm!”

Hmm. Yelling hadn’t helped because Grass had his hands up, ready to rumble. Groaning, Graham stepped back from the situation.

“Okay. I really need to stop coming to this place.”

Moving away from the hotel’s entrance, Graham pulled out his phone, deciding of all his friends, Easton would give him the least amount of crap for having to come pick him up. Before he could make the call, Jake began to whine, his “I recognize someone” whine. Or maybe it was an “I have to pee” whine. He stepped on the wide, manicured lawn and set Jake on the ground.

“Fine, buddy. Do what you gotta do, then we’re out of here.”

Jake was off across the grounds like a shot. Cursing at his own stupidity, Graham jogged after him.

Coming around the corner into another one of the resort’s lawn areas, Graham found himself nose-to-yoga pants with the second set of bottoms of the day. But since one was Zoey’s, he found this situation far less annoying than the first one.

“Suddenly, my day has gotten so much better,” Graham murmured, watching his dog fall in love with her all over again.

“Jake!” Zoey burst into giggles.

The border collie wriggled and waggled and licked Zoey’s face until her glasses fell off. With his exuberant attentions, she was unable to maintain her sun salutation or Chaturanga whatever thingy the overly pacified instructor droned at them.

At Zoey’s side, Lana was doing the moves flawlessly, her cell phone under her nose and her nails typing away.

Ambling over, Graham joined the two women in their line. “What are you two lovely ladies doing this fine morning?”