The Things You Didn't See(94)

‘Holly, please can you drive me to the police station? I think we both need to make a confession.’





NINE MONTHS LATER





47

Cassandra

Courtroom Number One is oppressive with the smell of polished wood and starched collars, the glitter of dust on wood, sweat on skin. Many people have sat on this hard bench before, hearts tight, hands clenched, just like me. It’s a comfort that others have survived this.

The circus of activity in this ancient and pompous room seems to be happening to someone else. Each day of the trial, reporters and rubberneckers fought for seats in the public gallery. It’s over now: only the verdict remains.

The large empty chair is where the judge will sit to give his verdict. The space below is where the barristers, in their monochrome costumes, have already acted their parts and are now punch-drunk with the euphoria of the final bow, crowing about their plans for Christmas. This is their final case before the party begins.

The audience, the jury, have gone out to deliberate. The two rows where they sat are empty, have been for two days, but we’ve had word that they’ll return at any moment and the mood is lifted because of it. Tonight, they can return to normal life. I keep looking at the door, tall and wide, deep brown wood, so thick I couldn’t smash through it. It lets others in, but wouldn’t let me out. Where would I run to?

Oh, Mum. Why didn’t you love me? If only you’d protected me instead of sending me away to boarding school, locking me away at the Bartlet, things would have been different. You loved Daniel, when you thought he’d saved you, but your love was a fickle thing.

Upstairs in the public gallery, faces peer down. Just seeing Victoria’s heart-shaped face, her long hair that is so much like yours, gives me courage. Poor Victoria – she’s strong to be here. She leans on the balustrade, kisses her fingers and throws me a greeting. I try to believe in her faith, but she has the advantage of innocence.

Beside her, Daniel looks handsome, smart in his suit. When he was in the witness box, I saw how the female jurors looked at him and felt a stab of anxiety before I told myself he’s mine, he’s been faithful to me all along. I never need to worry about him straying – I know he won’t leave me now.

Of everyone, Dad looks the most worn down. Ash and Janet have taken turns to sit beside him, faithful as ever. He catches my eye and smiles stoically, but I can tell he’s not sure this will all work out well. How can we trust twelve strangers to affirm the truth when it’s so obscure? Guilt or innocence aren’t as straightforward as lawyers would have us believe.

But Rupert Jackson says Holly’s testimony will swing it our way. She cried when she told the story of that Halloween, of how I was shot by her brother. How, even then, I didn’t wake. No one could doubt her testimony. I catch Daniel’s eye and we share a moment. There’s honesty between us now, and trust.

Our relationship has never been stronger.

As I waited to fall asleep in the hospital bed, he told me everything. How he arrived that Saturday morning in the blurred dawn, a lone car crossing the plain, headlights strafing the far field, before he pulled into the farm, bathed red by the spreading glow of the rising sun. The door was, as always, unlocked.

Everyone else was asleep. He paused at my door, then continued to yours. You were shocked to see him, but he calmed you.

‘It’s me, Maya. It’s Daniel.’

But you were angry: ‘Get out of my bedroom! What the hell are you doing here?’

He just wanted to talk, just wanted you to see sense and destroy the contract I’d told him you’d signed. You wouldn’t listen, so he went to the study, where he knew the contract must be. He didn’t even notice the gun cupboard was hanging open.

You pounced out of bed, still in your red silk nightdress, furious. I can imagine this – you hated anyone going in your study.

‘Please, Maya,’ Daniel begged, ‘let’s talk about this. Think about how the Spa will help people . . .’

‘Help?’ you taunted him. ‘You’re a quack! I’m going to expose you for the fraud you are.’

Even hearing the story second-hand, I was shocked that you’d said this – so unfair of you. You know how hard Daniel works to help people. It was the hospital results, of course, that turned your mind against him. But how could Daniel be blamed for the failure of your body to fight the cancer cells? You always believed that other people were responsible for anything bad that happened, didn’t you, Mum? But you were just unlucky.

Another shock was coming: you weren’t alone in blaming Daniel for a returning cancer. You said her name: Monica.

Daniel could barely speak. ‘How do you know about her?’

‘Alfie Avon told me,’ you said. ‘She’s his ex-wife – their marriage was destroyed by the stress you and your false claims caused. It’s over, Daniel. I’m not going to let you ruin anyone else’s chance for survival.’

You took the gun from the cabinet. A farmer’s daughter, you weren’t afraid. ‘Now get out of my house, you fraud!’

You forced him down the stairs. It was then that I appeared at the top. Still asleep, dressed in the clothes I’d gone to bed in. Who knows what my somnambular brain made of my mother pointing a gun at my lover. I was dreaming, and in that barely conscious state I protected the person I loved most.