The Therapist(73)

‘Like everyone here was happy to do,’ he says softly.

‘Maybe it was him,’ I say.

He stands and takes the plates from me. ‘Maybe it was,’ he says. ‘But until I know for sure, I can’t rest, for Helen’s sake and for Oliver’s sake. Believe me, if I thought he was guilty, I wouldn’t be investigating the murder. But there’s too much that doesn’t add up. Also, Oliver swore to Helen that it wasn’t him. She says he wouldn’t have lied to her and I believe her.’ He carries the plates over to the sink, then turns to face me. ‘I’m feeling more and more uncomfortable about having dragged you into this. I’m not sure – maybe it would be better if I leave?’

‘No, please don’t. But perhaps we could talk about something else.’

‘Yes,’ he says, relieved. ‘Good idea.’

I don’t know if it was the simple act of cooking for him that allows us to move to the point where we feel comfortable sharing information about ourselves. Thomas tells me he and his wife divorced three years ago and that he now lives in South London. I feel for him when he explains that he and his wife wanted to share childcare for their six-year-old son but because they didn’t want to disrupt his daily routine, they agreed that his wife would be the main carer for the moment.

‘All that will change when he moves school next September,’ Thomas explains. I’ve made coffee and we’re back at the table. ‘His new school is nearer to where I live, so he’ll be staying at mine every second week. I can’t wait. I miss him so much.’

He also tells me that he grew up reading Sherlock Holmes and, after studying Psychology and Criminology at university, he decided to become a private investigator instead of joining the police force, as he’d intended to do. In return, I tell him about me and Leo, how the move to London was meant to be our new start, how I feel guilty that I can’t forgive him for lying to me and how bemused I feel for not realising that he could.

‘When you think about it, it’s not surprising you found living together hard if you only used to see each other at weekends,’ Thomas remarks. ‘Two days a week over what – twenty months? – only amounts to around three to four months in real time.’

‘I never thought of that,’ I say, feeling slightly less guilty.

I also tell him about losing my parents and sister and admit that I’m worried my sister is the reason I’ve become invested in Nina’s murder.

‘I think, if it wasn’t for Nina – my sister Nina – I wouldn’t be here, talking to you, trying to help you get to the truth. I’m confused about my motives, I’m worried they’re not pure. I didn’t know Nina, I shouldn’t be this involved. But sometimes, when I think about my sister, or about Nina, they become intertwined. It’s like they’re the same person.’

His eyes are full of compassion. ‘Do you think you and Leo are going to be able to work things out?’

‘No, because there isn’t any me and Leo, not anymore. Hiding his past from me is a lie too far. I can’t be with him.’

He nods slowly. ‘What are you going to do?’

‘This is his house, not mine, so I’ll be going back to Harlestone. He’s agreed that I can stay here until next weekend. I think he felt it was the least he could do.’

‘Then – Helen was asking if she could meet you. I wasn’t going to mention it yet because I didn’t know if it was something you’d feel comfortable doing. But if you’re only here for another week or so—’ His voice tails off.

‘I’d love to meet her,’ I say.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes.’

For the first time since I’ve known him, he looks slightly awkward. ‘What about next Wednesday? Perhaps I could take you to lunch, and then we could go to Helen’s together?’

I feel a rush of pleasure. ‘That would be lovely.’

‘And while we’re having lunch, maybe you could explain to me how to get to Harlestone. Just so that I can let you know if there are any developments,’ he adds with a smile.

‘I’m sure I could,’ I say, smiling back at him.

‘Good.’ He looks curiously at me. ‘How did Leo take it when you told him it was over?’

‘Resigned, I think. It’s not just his lies, it’s also the stupid thing with the hair.’

‘What stupid thing?’

‘It’s actually really embarrassing, which is why I didn’t mention it before.’

‘What happened?’

Reluctantly, because it shows Leo in such a bad light, I tell him about the hair scattered around the house and how I found a blond ponytail in the wardrobe.

‘The funny thing is, he was probably trying to scare me into thinking it was Nina’s hair that I kept finding,’ I say. ‘Except that it didn’t occur to me that it was. I presumed it was mine, because I lost a lot of it after my parents and sister died and I thought it was happening again, because of the stress of the murder.’

‘Is that why you always wear it up?’

I raise my hand and touch my hair self-consciously. ‘Yes, it’s become a habit now. I also think Leo has been prowling around the house at night, another tactic to scare me. I can’t be with a man who thinks it’s alright to psychologically manipulate someone.’