The Therapist(7)

‘Alice, I want to ask you something,’ he said, once the champagne had been poured. ‘I want to be able to see you all the time, not just at weekends.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Will you move in with me?’

Move in with him? Did he mean in London?

‘I thought for a moment that you were going to ask me to marry you,’ I joked to hide my confusion.

He reached for my hand. ‘I love you, but I’ve never believed in marriage and I’m not going to start now, not at my age. I’ve never known a happy one and it’s just a piece of paper anyway. It wouldn’t make us love each other more, how could it?’

‘That’s not what I meant,’ I said, taking a sip of champagne. ‘I’m happy not to get married. But when you say move in with you, do you mean to your flat?’

‘Yes.’

I couldn’t give him the answer I knew he wanted. Even though I was sometimes lonely in Harlestone, it was all I knew. I’d only ever lived in Harlestone. My friends were there. My life was there.

‘Can I think about it?’ I asked.

‘As long as you don’t take too long to decide,’ he said, smiling. ‘I want us to be together all the time, not just at weekends.’

I managed to avoid the subject of moving to London until six months ago, when Leo’s work began to take him to the Midlands. He didn’t exactly give me an ultimatum but when he asked if I would consider moving north, I knew I had to give a little if I wanted a future with him, which I did. I could do my job anywhere but he couldn’t, and if we moved to London, I could still get to Harlestone relatively easily from Kings Cross. But I needed some green around me so we agreed that he would sell his flat, and I would sell my cottage, and we’d find somewhere near a park with a garden. That way he could work out his current contract in the Midlands by spending Monday to Thursday in Birmingham, and Friday to Sunday in London with me. A new home for us, a new life for me.

My mind flits to what Leo said after the party last night, about us not needing anyone else. It honestly never occurred to me that he would want us to be together twenty-four/seven. It’s true that he’s a very private person, and extremely good at deflecting attention away from himself when questions become too personal. When I say that people are interested, he says they’re intrusive.

‘Who was that?’ I asked him one Friday afternoon. I’d been at the window of my cottage in Harlestone, waiting for him to arrive from London. Because of the terrible weather conditions – there had been some snow, which had turned to ice – he had left at midday, and as he got out of the car, a woman had appeared from seemingly nowhere and had begun speaking to him. Leo had tried to get away but the woman had been insistent, and I was sure I heard him telling her to leave him alone.

‘Someone wanting to know what it was like to live in the village,’ he’d said when I asked him about her, sounding more annoyed than he should have. We were in the early stages of our relationship, and I wondered fleetingly if she was an ex-girlfriend. But Leo, I realised quickly, hated anyone invading his personal space. It’s why he doesn’t have any close friends, apart from Mark, who he met a couple of years ago when he did some work for his company. Which is why I feel guilty, because I don’t agree that we don’t need anyone else. I love Leo but there are other people I need in my life, like Debbie and my other friends in Harlestone. They are my family and I already miss them. Luckily, here in London, I have Ginny, Mark’s wife, who has become a good friend and only lives a few miles away, in Islington. And hopefully, I’ll make some new friends here in The Circle.

I flip my pillow over and give it a thump to flatten it, then turn and look at Leo, his head half-buried under the covers, and realise something that I’ve never realised before, which is that family-wise, I’m all he’s got. He’s estranged from his parents and from the little he told me about them, they weren’t exactly the best role models.

He murmurs restlessly in his sleep and I feel a sudden rush of love. It’s not surprising he wants some stability in his life. Someone he can depend on.





Four


‘I’ll see you on Thursday,’ he says the next morning, lifting me off the kitchen chair and giving me a kiss. ‘Be careful, won’t you? Make sure you lock the doors at night.’

‘There was no-one there,’ I remind him, pressing my face into his shirt and breathing in the scent of him. ‘We checked.’

He rests his chin on the top of my head for a moment. ‘I know. All the same, be careful.’

I pull at his tie, bringing him down for a last kiss. ‘Love you.’

In the hall, he picks up his bag and with a wave, disappears through the front door. It slams shut behind him and I listen to his footsteps receding down the drive until I can no longer hear them. For a moment, the silence is absolute and my mind flicks to the thought of someone here; a stranger watching us as we slept. It’s only as I stand there, shrouded in perfect stillness that a thought slams into my head.

I don’t like this house.

I’d been on holiday in Venice with Ginny when Leo phoned to tell me about a house he’d visited.

‘It’s perfect,’ he said, and I could hear the relief in his voice, because we had viewed at least twenty by then. ‘Tell Ginny she was right about Ben. He’s brilliant, he’s found us exactly what we need. The perfect house.’