The Therapist(40)



It’s the need of a coffee that gets me to my feet. I carry it through to the sitting room and drink it standing by the window, watching the trees start a slow shed of their leaves. It’s gone nine o’clock, I’m late at my desk. A movement catches my eye, Eve coming out of her house. She’s dressed in her running gear and I’m about to knock on the window and wave when Tamsin appears behind her. I step back quickly, but I can still see them. They exchange a few words, then Eve runs across the road and into the square, leaving Tamsin standing on the drive.

Needing breakfast, I go to the kitchen, put some bread in the toaster and search the fridge for honey. A ring at the doorbell startles me; the jar slips from my hand and smashes on the floor, right by my bare feet. I stare at the shards of glass sticking to the bottom of my blue pyjamas, wondering where to begin cleaning up the mess, and the doorbell rings again. Whoever it is isn’t going to go away.

Stepping carefully over the broken jar, I go into the hall, open the door and come face to face with the one person I could do without seeing. Tamsin.

‘Hi, Alice.’ In deference to the colder weather, she’s wearing a white padded jacket and white suede ankle boots. She looks perfect.

‘Sorry,’ I say, conscious of being in my pyjamas. ‘I’m not feeling good. So, if you’re here to have another go at me, I’d rather you come back another day.’

She shuffles from one foot to the other. ‘No, I’m not, I’m here to apologise. I shouldn’t have been so aggressive. I was having a bad week.’

‘It’s fine. But as I told you, I didn’t upset Lorna, she said it was a relief to talk about Nina because nobody did anymore.’

Tamsin nods, and I ignore the image that comes to mind, of Lorna playing with her pearls.

‘I wondered if you’d like to come for coffee on Friday,’ she says. ‘In the morning, around ten-thirty. I know you work but would that be OK? Eve will be there,’ she adds, as if she thinks I might not go if it’s just the two of us.

I’m not keen on interrupting my working day but I can always work through lunch to make up for taking time off in the morning. ‘Thank you, that would be lovely,’ I say.

She looks both pleased and relieved. ‘Great! Well, goodbye, Alice, I hope you feel better soon.’

I watch her as she walks down the drive.

‘You look beautiful, by the way!’ I call.

She turns and gives me a little wave but there’s sadness on her face, as if she doesn’t really believe me.

In the kitchen, I clean up the mess from the broken jar with renewed energy. It’s the house that’s stifling me, I realise. What I need is a blast of cold air. Half-an-hour in the garden will help. I can do some weeding. I enjoy weeding, it’s the kind of task I can do on autopilot, leaving my mind free to wander.

The previous day’s rain makes the weeding easier. I’m halfway up the left-hand side of the garden when I discover a panel missing in the fence between our house and Eve and Will’s. It’s not a problem because the gap is partly covered by thick green foliage. I push it aside and realise that I could walk straight into their garden if I wanted to. Maybe Eve and Nina used it as a shortcut instead of walking across the driveway when they wanted to see each other. I make a mental note to ask her about it when I next see her.

My mobile rings. I straighten up, ease my back. It’s Ginny.

‘Hi, Alice. I’m phoning to see how you are. Am I disturbing you?’

‘No, it’s fine, I’m taking a break in the garden. It’s lovely to be outside. How are you? Did you have a good weekend?’

‘Well, I’m fast becoming a golf widow, which suits me fine. Mark and Ben spent the whole day yesterday on the golf course. Ben came back for a drink afterwards, he was asking about you.’

‘That was nice of him.’

There’s a pause. ‘I’m actually calling because Leo phoned me this morning.’

‘Leo?’

‘Yes. He said that you don’t want him coming home this week, that you told him he could stay in Birmingham. He wanted me to check that you’ll be alright on your own.’

‘I’ll be fine,’ I say, sounding braver than I feel, because I do have a niggling apprehension about being on my own tonight.

‘Would you like me to come and stay?’

‘That’s lovely of you, but honestly, it’s fine. I need to do this, Ginny, I need to see if I can stay here. We’ve only been here a month, I don’t want to give up yet.’

‘I think Leo’s afraid you might give up on him.’

I sigh. ‘To be honest, I don’t know how I feel about him anymore. I still can’t get my head around him lying to me.’

‘How about we have lunch this week? I’ll take a longer lunch hour.’

‘That will be lovely. When were you thinking?’

‘Either tomorrow or Friday.’

‘Tomorrow,’ I say, remembering coffee at Tamsin’s on Friday morning. ‘Shall we go to the restaurant in Covent Garden where they serve that delicious monkfish. It’s not too far for you, is it?’

‘Neptune? I can walk there in ten minutes. I’ll phone and make a reservation for half-twelve.’

‘Great, see you there.’



The two invitations, plus the weeding, make it easier for me to get back to work. I love the story I’m translating and I become so absorbed in it that it’s three o’clock before I stop for something to eat. The sun has come out and rather than head straight back to work after a sandwich, I decide to go for a walk in Finsbury Park and translate this evening instead. With Leo not coming home, I’ll need something to take my mind off being alone in the house.

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