The Therapist(29)

‘Good vibes chasing away bad ones doesn’t sound strange at all,’ Eve says. ‘Don’t you want to sit down?’

‘Sorry,’ I say, realising I’ve been pacing the kitchen. I pull out a chair. ‘Leo should be staying in Birmingham until Thursday, like he usually does, but he’s going to come home every evening so that I won’t be alone at night.’

‘That’s good of him.’

‘What would you do, Eve, if you were in my place?’

‘I think if I was kind of managing, which you seem to be, I’d stay for a while, see how things pan out.’

‘I’d feel much better if I could go and see everyone here and explain that I didn’t know about the murder before moving in. But I suppose that would be kind of weird.’

‘If you really want it out there, I could tell Tamsin and Maria and they could tell their neighbours, who would tell theirs, and before you know it, it will be common knowledge,’ she says. ‘Would you like me to do that?’

‘Yes, please. I really need people to know I’m not callous.’ A new thought comes to worry me. ‘But what will people think when they know that I know about the murder and am able to carry on living in the house, at least for the moment?’

‘They already thought that you knew, and the only thing they thought was that you were incredibly brave. So that’s what they’ll continue to think, that you’re brave. And not many people would be able to afford to move out and rent somewhere else to live while the house is being resold, so they’ll understand that too. Your cottage is rented out, it’s not as if you can go back there. Anyway, why do you care what people think?’

‘I don’t want to be shunned when I’ve only just arrived here.’

Eve bursts out laughing. ‘You’re not going to be shunned!’

‘So, if I invite you, Tamsin and Maria to lunch on Wednesday, before you go to your yoga class, will you come?’ I say, surprising myself, because I hadn’t actively thought about inviting them over.

‘Sure we will! We came to your drinks evening, didn’t we?’

‘I’d like to invite Cara but I don’t think she’s around during the day. Did she say she works for Google?’

‘Yes, she’s a software engineer. She works crazy hours so you’ll only be able to get hold of her at weekends.’

‘Just the four of us, then.’

I leave soon after. Eve told me I could work at hers but if I’m to stay here, in this house, I need to get used to being alone. ‘What would you do, Nina?’ I murmur to the photo of my sister pinned to the fridge. ‘Would you stay or would you go?’ But there’s no answer, just the absolute stillness of an empty house.

Instead of doing a second read of my book, I decided to start translating straightaway. Translating requires focus and right now, I need to be able to concentrate on something other than the murder.

The day passes surprisingly quickly. When Leo arrives home, he goes out of his way to apologise, to try and make good the harm he’s done.

‘Your hair looks nice,’ he says, referring to the way I’ve plaited it to keep it out of my way while I’m working.

‘Thanks.’

He sighs. ‘Tell me how I can make it up to you.’

‘I don’t know, I don’t even know if you can. How can I trust you if you’re able to keep something so momentous from me?’

What I hate most is that I feel I’m being unfair. But expecting me to fall into his arms, say I forgive him, is too much. He offers to make me dinner and when I refuse, he eats quickly and disappears to his study. He doesn’t mention the rose I threw in the bin so maybe he didn’t see it.

The house is quiet, too quiet. Realising I didn’t tell Leo that I thought there was someone in the house last night, I’m tempted to go after him. But I don’t want him to think that I’m using it as an excuse to start a conversation. Anyway, there wasn’t anyone there, it was just the murder playing on my mind.





Fifteen


I leave it to Eve to invite Maria and Tamsin to lunch and the three of them arrive together, turning up at twelve with flowers from Maria’s garden and a bottle of wine. They’re all wearing shorts and T-shirts, which makes me feel overdressed in my mid-length flowing skirt.

‘Come in,’ I say, moving back to let them past.

Eve and Maria walk straight in but Tamsin hovers uncertainly outside the door and for a confused moment, I think she’s having reservations about having lunch with me.

‘Sorry,’ she says. ‘It’s just that this house always reminds me of Nina.’

‘Of course.’ I nod sympathetically, wanting to reach out and hug her. But she steps quickly inside.

‘How are you?’ Maria asks, giving me a hug. ‘It must have been such a shock, finding out about Nina like that. I can’t imagine how you must have felt.’

‘Angry and scared,’ I say, leading them out to the garden. ‘I wanted to leave, I didn’t think I’d be able to stay.’

‘But you’re still here,’ Tamsin says pointedly.

If anyone is going to judge me, it’s Tamsin.

I turn to her. ‘Yes, I’m still here. For the moment.’ I smile tentatively. ‘I was hoping you might tell me about Nina. I’ll never be able to sleep in the bedroom upstairs again but if I knew she’d had some happy times here, it might help me feel less anxious.’