The Switch(86)

‘Yes. He does.’

Jackson looks down at his feet. ‘Well. Good. I’m glad. I’m glad he makes you happy.’

He seems to mean it, which makes my heart hurt.

‘I’ll be gone next week,’ I say, swallowing. ‘You’ll … forget all about me. Life will go back to normal.’

We both look towards the fire, its flames torn by the breeze.

‘I might just say goodbye now,’ Jackson says.

I’m having a little gathering tomorrow in the village hall with the Neighbourhood Watch crew, maybe even Nicola and Betsy if they feel up to it. But I guess no Jackson.

‘That’s fine,’ I say. ‘Of course. I should …’ I stand. One side of my body’s hot from the bonfire, the other’s cool from the breeze.

‘I’m sorry,’ Jackson says, standing too. ‘I should have … Obviously, now, I can see I shouldn’t have said anything.’

‘No,’ I say. ‘I get it.’

It’s better he said it. Now it’s clear where the line is.

‘Well. Goodbye,’ he says.

I hesitate, and then,

‘Come here,’ I say, and pull him in for a hug. He closes his arms around me, my cheek against his chest, his hand almost spanning the width of my waist. He smells of open fires and wildflowers, the scent of his wreath still caught in the soft fabric of his shirt. I pull away as my pulse begins to pound again.

‘Live a good life, Leena Cotton,’ he says, in the moment we step apart. ‘And … make sure it’s the right one.’





30


Eileen


I leave Tod in bed with the sheets ruffled, his arm thrown wide as if reaching for me again. I like the idea of this as my last memory of him, and his last memory of me as the way I was last night: giddy, a little silly, and wearing perfect make-up because Martha did it for me.

My bags are all packed and waiting in Rupert and Aurora’s hallway downstairs. Fitz carried them down for me before he left for work. I gave Aurora and Rupert a cactus as their goodbye present; Aurora was ecstatic. Really, that woman thinks anything shaped even vaguely like a penis is a work of art.

They’ve promised to keep the Silver Shoreditchers’ Social Club going and to send me photos of each month’s event. It’s Fitz who’s most excited about it, though: he has grand plans to expand the club already. It’s been a joy, seeing him throwing his heart into it all – he reminds me a little of myself at that age. Though I had a good sight more common sense. The man just can’t seem to learn how to look after himself – anything domestic goes in one ear and comes out the other. I’ve done what I can, though, while I’ve been here, and he’s coming along. The other day I saw him pairing his socks after doing a wash.

I hail down a black cab to take me to the Selmount offices for my goodbye coffee with Bee. As we crawl through the streets, I remember how frightening this place felt when I first arrived. Now it’s a second home. I’ll miss the man in the market who gives me a discount on crêpes because he’s from Yorkshire, too, and the Big Issue seller with the Alsatian who wears a pink bow.

We pull up outside the Selmount offices; it takes me a while to get out of the car, and I’m just getting my legs around to climb out of the door when I look up and freeze.

‘Are you OK there, ma’am?’ says the taxi driver.

‘Shh !’ I say, eyes fixed. I start swivelling, pulling my legs back inside the car again. ‘Close your door! Follow that car!’

‘Sorry?’ he says, nonplussed.

‘That cab there! The one two in front, with the lingerie lady on the side!’

‘The one with the gent and the blonde girl getting in?’ he asks, looking at me rather warily in the mirror.

‘That is my granddaughter’s boyfriend, and I’ll bet you any money that’s his bit-on-the-side,’ I say. ‘She fits the description down pat.’

The driver turns the key in the ignition. ‘Right you are, ma’am. I’ll stick to them like glue.’ He cuts into the traffic smoothly enough that nobody honks. ‘Can’t stand cheaters,’ he says.

‘Nor me,’ I say with fervour, as we pull in behind them. With difficulty – I don’t want to take my eyes off that cab – I send Bee a quick message.

On to Ethan. So sorry to miss you. Lots of love, Eileen xx

She replies instantly.

I AM INTRIGUED.

I don’t have time to fill Bee in. She’ll have to wait. Ethan’s cab is pulling in; my taxi driver stops behind them at a bus stop, looking rather nervously over his shoulder.

‘I’ll hop out,’ I say, though it’s more of a clamber than a hop, really. ‘You’ve been wonderful. As soon as I’ve worked out how, I’ll give you five stars.’

He looks bemused, but helps me climb out and gives me a friendly enough wave as I set off after Ethan, dragging my suitcase behind me.

I’m convinced that’s Ceci. She’s got straight blonde hair and long legs, which ticks off two of the things I know about the woman, and besides, there’s just something about her that says, I might steal your granddaughter’s boyfriend.

But I do lose my nerve a tad when they pause outside an office building. It occurs to me now that Ethan and Ceci could just be off to a meeting, in which case I have wasted a lot of money on a cab fare to … where exactly am I?