The Surface Breaks(59)
A head in the water (Have the Salkas come back?) then another. And another, another, another. No green manes this time, but clean skulls; hair plucked as finely as the kitchen maids pluck a chicken for yet another one of Eleanor’s interminable parties. I strain to see, waiting until they swim closer and I can see features etched on those pale faces. Eyes so blue and lips so red. And then I realize who these maidens are.
“Muirgen,” one of them says, and I squint at her to figure out that it’s Talia. I had forgotten how homogeneous the mer-folk could appear. My father wants us all to look the same, act the same, think the same; and I just accepted that as natural. Why did I never understand how boring it was? And how stifling? Why did none of us realize that there could be strength in our differences as much as our similarities? “What have you done to yourself?” Talia asks when she sees me, her eyes wide in horror.
“You’ve caused so much trouble,” Arianna says. “Father is furious. He and Zale have been planning—” She looks over her shoulder as if expecting our father to be there, like all of us do. “But he’s right, of course,” she says. “The Sea King is always right. For he is wise and good. We are fortunate to be living in the time of the Sea King.”
My sisters are thinner, the bones pronounced in their faces. They’re nervous, speaking quickly and yet choosing their words with a deliberation that is unusual. I look past them, searching for the other face that I want to see before I die. “Grandmother is not here,” Sophia says, understanding instantly. “She would have felt obliged to tell Father, and there’s no telling what he might do if he heard we went to the Sea Witch.”
You went to the Sea Witch? I shake my head. I cannot believe my sisters would do such a thing.
“Our father would be right to be angry,” Cosima says. “What would he think if he knew we had left the Shadowlands looking as we do? His daughters, ugly.”
They’re not ugly, exactly, but they do look rather strange. Huge eyes in pale faces, veins skimming blue over fine boned skulls. Why have you done this to yourselves? I touch my own head, then point at theirs in question.
“Oh, Muirgen,” Sophia says. “It’s true what Ceto said. You have sacrificed your voice.” Her own quakes, as if she’s holding back tears. “How could you do such a thing?”
“Forget her voice,” Talia says, trying to peer over the side of the boat. “I want to see these human legs that you so desired.” I wave her off, humiliated at the thought of my sisters seeing my ruined feet. “I cannot understand the fascination myself, when our tails are beautiful.”
“She was in love,” Cosima says, her eyes downcast. She says it oh so quietly, as if she has come to a new understanding. That love is painful, love is someone harrowing out your chest and throwing your heart away as if it is of no value. I know, I want to tell her. I know why you did it. I know that you sent me to Ceto because you wanted me out of the way.
“Yes, she was,” Sophia says. “Love can make you foolish.”
“And what do you know of love, sister? You’re not even betrothed,” Talia says to Sophia. “Not like…” She looks at Cosima and she falters. “Not like Nia and Marlin,” Talia rushes on. “They’re perfect for one another.”
Nia’s weak smile, wobbling when Talia isn’t looking. I remember those two girls on the boat, their obvious delight in one another. I wish I had my voice. You are not unnatural, I would tell her. Love is never unnatural, no matter whom you decide to give it to.
“Oh, Muirgen,” Talia continues. “It has been such a mess these four weeks since you left us.”
“A complete disaster,” Arianna says.
“Yes,” Talia says, frowning at Arianna. “There were many rumours at the beginning. Father was furious with Grandmother, he said that she had neglected her duties, he said…” She wavers, unable to repeat the words that the Sea King chose to berate our grandmother with. Grandmother is in trouble because of me. “He had the right to be angry, of course.”
“Yes,” my sisters chorus and I cringe. Was I like this too, when I lived in the kingdom? “Praise the Sea King.”
“Father initially thought that you had been kidnapped by the Salkas,” Talia tells me. “Zale left with a band of warriors, capturing the first greenhead they could find and strapping her to the dining table in the palace with rinds of seaweed.” I can picture it, a group of men surrounding the struggling Salka.
“She was livid,” Arianna says. “But she confessed in the end, told us that you had…”
“That you had gone to the Sea Witch voluntarily,” Talia says, her forehead creasing, as if my reasons for doing so remain incomprehensible to her.
I remember the night I left, the utter despair driving me forward to the Shadowlands, any destiny preferable to the one awaiting me in the kingdom. Even death. Talia would never understand.
“And you asked her to give you two human stumps to walk upon the earth with.” Talia takes an unsteady breath. “Father was so angry,” she whispers.
“Sisters,” Nia says, one hand over her eyes as she faces the horizon. “We do not have much time left. There is perhaps fifty minutes before the sun has fully risen.”
“Muirgen,” Sophia says, and tears prick my eyes at the sound of my own name. I did not think I would hear it again before I died. “The five of us went to the Sea Witch and we begged for her help. She has granted mercy on us.” She gives a haunted smile and dread creeps over me. What did the Sea Witch do to them? “Granted mercy on you, I mean,” Sophia finishes.