The Summer Deal (Wildstone #5)(10)

Brynn’s eyes held his, like she was searching for the real reason he’d offer such a thing.

“Honey.” Raina shook her head. “You need to be home, with us. You need some TLC, some good food, and rest.”

“Mom,” Brynn said softly, taking Raina’s hand and putting it to her own chest. “I love you. I love you both to the moon and back, but what I really need right now is to stand on my own two feet.” She looked at Eli. “But it’s also something I need to figure out how to do on my own. Thanks, though.”

“Just think about it,” he said.

She held his gaze for a long beat and then nodded.

He gave her his contact info, and, having no idea if he’d done the right thing or if he’d just made everything worse, he watched her walk out with her moms. He wanted this more than he should, but if he knew one thing about life, it was that what he wanted rarely mattered.





Chapter 4


From nine-year-old Kinsey’s summer camp journal:

Dear Journal,

I was told today that I need to write home at least once this week, but I hate home more than I hate you. My mom’s dumb. My mom’s boyfriend is dumb.

I wish a journal could drive so you could come get me.

I wish you were a real person.

Tonight we were given some writing time. I told the counselor I don’t see good at night, which my mom says is a genetic thing, but no one cares. Writing in a journal is dumb. So is the girl who sleeps next to me. She can’t see at night either, and pretends she has two moms. Who’d want two? Anyway, they send her presents, like food! It’s all dumb. Eli thinks I should stop saying everything’s dumb. He’s my best friend, but he’s also a boy, so he’s dumb too. Except he’s nice to me because his family is even awfuler than mine.

Kinsey

BRYNN SPENT THE next day attempting to get her life together. This involved applying for jobs—a good decision—and reliving all her recent mistakes—a bad decision. She held a brief pity party for one at McDonald’s, involving a Big Mac, large fries, and an M&Ms McFlurry. But then she forced herself to get on with it.

Except it turned out that rent in Wildstone was high and jobs were scarce. The only good thing was that the biggest employer in the county happened to be the school district. There were no openings at the moment, so she’d applied to be a substitute teacher. There were only four schools in the district: a high school, a middle school, and two elementary schools. She wanted high school. She’d suffer middle school if she had to, but in her mind, elementary school was out.

So, of course, that’s who called her, offering a position as a long-term kindergarten sub for a teacher going on maternity leave.

Pros: a paycheck.

Cons: good God . . . kindergarteners.

The paycheck won. For one thing, Brynn had fewer than zero pennies to her name, because along with losing all her self-esteem and self-trust, she’d also let Ashton rob her blind.

So . . . she was going to make a deal with herself. No rash decisions. Actually, no decisions on the fly at all. She knew some might call this deal something else. Say, avoidance. But she’d thought it through carefully, and it was definitely the best way to avoid future mistakes and screwups. She didn’t need any more of those in her life.

Even better, it would protect the people she cared about. Like her moms. No one’s life would be disturbed by any bad decisions or choices she made. No one’s emotions would be at risk. The deal allowed everyone, including herself, to continue walking down their chosen path, without interference or distraction.

Theoretically, following this plan would be easy. After all, the basis of it was a lack of action. There was nothing difficult in taking no action, in not involving her heartstrings or tugging on anyone else’s. Sure, sometimes she’d have to walk away when she wanted to step closer. Sometimes she’d have to make a lighthearted remark when she wanted to reveal her soul. But all she had to do was hold her heart captive instead of letting it lead her on wild goose chases. No more freeing it into someone else’s hands.

It was the right thing to do, for all involved.

Having committed to this deal, having convinced herself this was the only way to go, she came home from her pity party, aka carb-loading.

Her moms were waiting. They knew the value of working as a team. They’d spent the day trying to follow along with her everywhere she went, constantly shoving food at her, continuously asking how she was doing with twin worried looks on their faces.

So she’d asked them very nicely to give her a few hours. But those hours were apparently up.

“Please tell us what happened to you in Long Beach,” Raina said.

They meant well, and she understood she was their whole life. She also loved them more than anything, but if she didn’t find a way to get out of this house, she was going to die here.

Which—not for the first time, or even the hundredth—brought her thoughts back to Eli. To what she knew about him, which admittedly wasn’t much. Back then, he’d been funny and easygoing, and not in the least bit shy. Lean to the point of too skinny, as well as asthmatic, he’d still managed to hold his own with the other boys and somehow also seem older than all of them.

In sharp contrast, Brynn had been a quirky, awkward kid, not funny, not easygoing, and terribly shy. She hadn’t exactly fit in, and the kids hadn’t liked her because of that.