The Storm King(25)

I think about escape. Adam’s right outside, idling in his stupid car. Things have been rough between us since Halloween, but he might actually like the idea of being a getaway guy. But this is a dumb fantasy.

I picture Mom picking me up at the station. Everyone would know, but they already know worse things about us. Our family burned to the ground months ago, so one more match won’t make a difference.

So I’m doomed. But if the Hatchet’s going to take me down, I’m going to make it hurt.

Fine, I tell her, go ahead and call the cops you plastic, coyote-faced—

And I never get a chance to finish what I’m sure would have been a world-class burn, because right then, out of nowhere, someone says: I’ll cover it, Mrs. Sackett.

I turn and see Nate McHale in the doorway.

The Hatchet stares at Nate, turns to me, then back to Nate, like having both of us in her little store at the same time contradicts some basic law of physics.

It’s not easy to avoid someone in a place as small as the Lake. Especially when you share three classes with the guy. Still, I’ve been doing a decent job of it since Halloween.

This journal’s supposed to be whatever I want it to be, right? Worries and nightmares and dreams and all that teenaged shit. Well, ruining that Halloween for Nate was a primary short-term goal. Call me petty. It’d be the closest thing to a compliment I’ve gotten in weeks.

By Halloween, Nate and I had been playing for months. A sport without rules. After breaking his bedroom window with another baseball, I knew Nate couldn’t resist some old-school Halloween mischief. So I made the house too juicy to resist and hid behind a tree with a cellphone.

Shaving cream sprayed, toothpaste squirted, eggs launched. I guess it was too wet to bother with the TP. I know he’s doing all this to hurt me, but watching it happen, I don’t feel a thing. That little brick house is where I sleep, but it isn’t my home. Home is broken. Pieces of it are scattered between here and Ogdensburg.

That’s where Mom and the twins were on Halloween, visiting Dad. They still go every other week, but I wonder how long that’ll keep up. I’ve gone a couple times.

I remember them floating Nate’s kid brother up to the surface. Red polo shirt and khaki shorts. Bobbing there, facedown like a doll. Dad wasn’t in cuffs then, but he would be soon. You don’t run the chief of police’s best friend and his family off a cliff and get away with it. Not with a belly of Bloody Marys and a BAC twice the state limit. If Mom hadn’t been home with the babies, she’d have been driving. If I’d gotten a B+ in English instead of an A, Dad might not have taken me out for brunch in the first place.

I was ten feet from Nate when he told the police about the baseball stuck under the car’s brake. He said it was all his fault—his words! It came up in the trial, but the poor orphan boy was all anyone cared about.

Anyway, Nate’s deep into his eggs when I dial Adam’s cell. I only let it ring twice before hanging up. That’s the signal. I guess I light a cigarette, too. Nate’s sure to see it, but I’ve got to make my entrance sometime, so I do.

Tom and Johnny run, but Nate stays.

The two of us, alone. It’s been a long time coming.

Are you happy? I ask him. Is this everything you wanted? Did the eggs and toothpaste and shaving cream make you feel like a man in control? Did that money you got from my family fill the cracks in your broken arm and the holes in your family tree? Do you feel better, knowing that you’re the Lake’s golden son, and I’m its most hated daughter? I don’t actually say all of this, but I wish I had.

There’s a funny look on his face, but before he can say anything, Adam and the others rush him. Alpha male crap.

Adam’s about to knock his head off when Nate smiles. I know this doesn’t sound like anything, but right then it feels like the most outrageous thing he can do. The light from the garage catches the blue in his eyes and makes his skin gleam. He’s smiling, but past that there’s a look way too old for his face.

Those eyes. That face. The sadness behind it. Nate’s always been cute, but that’s when I realize he’s beautiful.

I’m not even sure what happened next. Tom and Johnny appear out of nowhere, then Adam’s on the ground with his head bleeding. There’s running and shouting and then we’re piled into Adam’s car gunning for the boys.

We lurch over the curb, all shouting to get them, but I can tell from the sound of my own voice that I don’t mean it. That’s when I understand I don’t want this anymore.

Me taunting Nate. Nate hounding me.

Our old world is wreckage. There’s no way back.

The boys have darted into the trees because they’re not idiots and they don’t know what we’re going to do. Neither do I. I can point Adam in a direction, but who knows how far he’ll take it. Will he run over the boys? Will he crush them between the Mustang’s fender and the trunk of a tree?

Am I happy?

Next thing I know, Adam’s shaking me and I see we’re stopped in front of a fence. Nate’s only a flicker in the headlights. Adam asks if he should chase them down, and I hesitate. Such a stupid mistake.

Adam has a predator’s nose for weakness, and next to me I can almost hear him sniffing. He makes a face at me, pushes open the door, and runs after the boys.

So yeah, things haven’t been great between me and Adam since then.