The Ruthless Gentleman(84)

“It would seem so. Again, it was my fault. If I hadn’t been on this yacht, your brother’s health insurance would never have been affected.”

“Wow,” she replied. “These people have so much power.”

“Too much power.” She shouldn’t have to live with the sword of Damocles hovering over her family. She’d done nothing but do right by everyone in her life.

“For a second, I imagined what my life would be if I’d taken that money,” she said, squinting at the sun. “I took the phone. I thought about it.”

“Don’t feel bad about that. They made it as tempting as they could for you, and you know, if it had been my brother, I probably would have taken the cash.”

She laughed, and I couldn’t help but smile as I saw that open, genuine joy on her face, but she stopped herself abruptly and turned to me. “But your deal went through, right? They didn’t win?”

I couldn’t believe that with everything she’d been through, the way I’d treated her, she was still worried about me. “Everything is fine with Phoenix, but I don’t care about that. I’m here. I want to make things right with you.”

A breeze interrupted the still, hot air and blew a stray strand of brown hair across Avery’s face. Instinctively, I brushed it away.

“I missed you,” I said, cupping her face and sweeping my thumb over her cheek.

She closed her eyes as if it were too painful to hear the words.

“I missed you,” she replied.

“I know I don’t deserve it, but forgive me.”

She leaned into my palm. “It’s done already. I couldn’t be angry at you, even before you came here. Well, I was at first, but I saw the pressure you were under, the betrayal you were having to deal with.”

My heart soared. I knew I didn’t deserve her forgiveness but to have it? To hear her say it? This was the summit of Everest. Looking at her was the best view in the world.

“Forgive but don’t forget, that’s what my dad always says.”

My stomach flipped over. Of course she couldn’t forget. What I’d done was question who she was. But did that mean there was no chance of a future together?

“Did you find your leak?” She placed a hand on my chest and I stepped forward so there was just an inch separating us.

I nodded. “I did. They’d been paid very well by Cannon over this last year or so.”

“What people will do for money, huh?” she said.

“I’d do anything for you,” I whispered. “Rob a bank, bury a body, whatever you want me to do.”

Her silence expanded as her palm seared into my chest and my thumb stroked her cheek.

“I should get back,” she said eventually. “I can’t leave Skylar and August on their own any longer.”

Were we done? Had whatever she’d felt for me fizzled and died as my accusations took over? I needed a way back. I couldn’t give up. “Come back? Later? Tonight?”

“I can’t leave the yacht. You know that.”

By forgiving me she’d given me more than I could have possibly hoped for. But I still hoped for more. I wanted her heart, her body, her soul. “Then I’ll wait. When can I see you again?”

She tilted her head. “Go back to London, Hayden. I’m here all season.” She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. “You have a life there.”

“I want you in my life. I just—”

“This . . . We’re . . . I don’t know what you want or what you’re expecting, but I have responsibilities. I have five months here and then . . . We’re not compatible.”

I hated hearing her say that. I’d never met anyone I was so compatible with. “That’s not true and I don’t think you believe it, either. If you can forgive me, then we can go back to—”

“To what? We had a fling on a yacht for a few weeks. You said yourself that the ‘logistics were challenging’.”

“If you’re telling yourself it was just a fling then you are a liar.”

She didn’t respond. She didn’t have to. We both knew what we had wasn’t some kind of fleeting, throwaway connection.

“I’m not saying it won’t have challenges,” I said. “But I like to face my battles—and win them. I’m not going to slink away because it might be too difficult. You’re worth more than that.”

She glanced back to the boat. “It’s not just that.” She paused and as her eyes flickered over my face, I could see she was trying to decide whether or not to tell me what she was thinking. “I just don’t think I can. I saw the promise of something when you and I were together, Hayden. I need you to be the man I thought you were. The one who was in my corner, who respected me, believed me to be on his side. I deserve that man.”

“You do,” I replied, trying to keep my voice from breaking. She was right. I wasn’t good enough for her. “And I want to be that man for you. Perhaps I wasn’t then but meeting you has changed so much for me. More than that, losing you turned my world upside down and made me reassess everything. I can’t lose you. I want to spend the rest of my life working to be the man who deserves you.”

Silence surrounded us. I didn’t want to even breathe in case I missed the next thing she said.