The Ruthless Gentleman(62)
“I can’t risk my brother’s medical bills for some holiday romance with you just because you’re bored.”
Pushing my hips against hers, I pinned her to the wall and cupped her face in my hands. “I didn’t fuck you because I was bored. I fucked you because I couldn’t help myself. This isn’t a holiday romance.” I wasn’t romantic and I wasn’t on holiday. But more than that, what was between us wasn’t fleeting.
“Of course it is.” She kicked her leg back in frustration, her heel connecting with the wall.
It took all my self-control not to close the space between us and kiss her, but I held back, determined to prove this wasn’t all about lust. “It’s more than that for me.” I didn’t know what was happening between us. I wanted her to understand that what I felt wasn’t casual.
“Last night we weren’t on the yacht and it was easier for me to pretend the rules didn’t apply. Today, it’s different. You’re my guest. I’m a stewardess. That’s how it should stay.”
“I won’t believe you if say you don’t feel this pull between us,” I whispered.
“Of course I feel it, but that doesn’t mean it’s right. It doesn’t mean I can give in to it again.”
I stepped back from her, wanting her to understand how serious I was. I didn’t want her to do something that would cause her pain, but she should know she wasn’t just a convenient fuck for me. I leaned against the desk. “I know I look like I’m being a selfish bastard. I know I have nothing to lose whereas you have put your career on the line. But I can’t let you walk out of here without telling you how I feel.” She deserved my honesty. “I need you to know that I’ve never had a night like last night. I’ve never been on the phone to lawyers about any deal, let alone the deal of my career, and found my mind so full of a woman I have no room for anything else.” I was usually laser focused and especially at times when I was under pressure, but Avery had everything upside down. “You make me want to blow off work and spend all night talking about everything you ever did before I met you. I want to understand what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you angry.” I had an ego to match any man’s, but I’d never before believed that a woman existed just for me. That was how I felt about Avery Walker—she was here for me, made for me, created for me. “I’ve never felt so proud to know someone. And I’ve never felt so fucking lucky that that woman wanted me. I want to scoop you up and bolt off this yacht and go get lost somewhere where it’s just you and me until the end of time.” It was as if my heart was exploding and I was finally able to find words for what I was feeling. “The thought that we might be over just doesn’t make sense to me. What’s between us feels like it will last forever, like it’s timeless.”
Avery sank her teeth into her bottom lip but remained silent.
“I haven’t thought about what happens when I leave this boat,” I said. “But I know that I can’t ever imagine not wanting you in my life. I’m a resourceful guy and you’re a born problem solver. We’ll figure this out.”
She bowed her head. Had I lost her?
I stepped forward so I was just inches away from her “You want to walk away from this?” I asked. “I’ll hate it, but I’ll never touch you again if you ask me not to.”
I glanced up to see unshed tears in her eyes. “I don’t want to but I’m afraid. Hearing you . . . I feel all that. And more. But you can’t screw up my redemption.”
Her words spread hot and sharp through me. Yachting was more than a career for her. This job was more than just a way of paying for her brother’s medical bills. This was about sacrifice and atonement—her assumed guilt for Michael’s accident. I should walk away, push her away. But I was rooted to the spot, as if gravity had misfired and I’d be pulled to wherever she was. “I won’t screw it up,” I whispered and placed a kiss on her collarbone. She didn’t need redeeming. She was the only one who thought she did. “Believe in me. Believe in us.”
Her knees buckled a little and her hands slid over my shoulders. Jesus, just this woman’s hands on my shirt-covered skin was enough to bring me to the edge.
“This room is Taormina, right?” I whispered. “In here, we’re Hayden and Avery. Just like yesterday. Through that door . . .” I tipped my head in the direction of the exit. “Out there, I’ll be the guest and you can be the stewardess. I promise I’ll not put you in danger of discovery again.”
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. She was almost at the point of saying yes, I just had to sweep my hand up the back of her thigh or press my hardening cock against her hip and she’d relent. But I needed more than that. She had to want this.
“I feel it,” she whispered. “And I don’t know if I’m more afraid of walking away or of the consequences of staying. I think either will hurt me.”
I blinked. I wanted to swallow up any hurt she’d ever felt. Any pain she’d ever have.
“My dad wanted me to do something just for me. To focus more on myself. The problem is the only thing I want for me is you. I want this for me.” She reached up, searching my face, tracing her fingers over my cheek. “Taormina,” she whispered.
“Taormina,” I whispered back before I pressed my lips to hers, lazily pushing my tongue through her lips to meet hers and I was home, where I belonged. Her hands curled around the back of my neck and I sighed in relief.