The Romantic Pact (Kings of Football)(94)
“There are always other options. You just need to look for them. Sometimes they aren’t right in front of you, waiting to be grabbed. Sometimes we have to be creative when it comes to carving out our own path in life. And with that comes sacrifices, as well.”
“What are you saying? Do you not want me to go to the combine and become a professional football player?”
“I’m not going to tell you what you should do with your life. That decision is on you, and you alone. But I’ll tell you this. When I reconnected with your mom, I realized that nothing made me happier than being with her. Nothing. Not my career, not my dreams, not my goals. Everything that mattered to me, that brought me true happiness, was with your mom. At the time, we were living on opposite sides of the country, and in order for me to be with her, I had to make some sacrifices. I moved to California to be with her. I left my comfort to be with her. And it was weird at first, I felt lost at times, but I could always come back to my initial decision. Being with your mom was the best decision I ever made, even if it meant giving up other things.” He turns onto the highway and heads toward the airport. “If you learn anything from Pops’s passing, it’s that life is short and you have one chance at it, so make the most of it.”
“So, what do I do? Give up everything I’ve worked toward as an athlete for someone who doesn’t love me?”
“You really think she doesn’t love you?” Dad asks with disbelief. “Come on, Crew, you’re smarter than that. She’s infatuated with you. We’ve known that for a long time, and then when we saw you two interacting in Germany on FaceTime, in the pictures—there was a spark in both your eyes. Your mom and I were surprised to see you two distance each other when you returned. We half expected you to tell us you were in a relationship.”
I sarcastically laugh. “That was the plan.”
“Really?” Dad asks in surprise. “What happened?”
“My head is what happened.” I rub my hand over my brow. “Pops’s last letter fucked with my head, and all I kept thinking about was what makes me happy. Hazel makes me happy, and I kept thinking of how it could all work, how we could make our relationship last. I wanted to give it good thought, to come up with a plan, and I felt like I was getting distracted. I kept getting swept up in, uh . . .” I bite my cheek, not sure how to say this.
“The physical?” Dad asks, and I feel my cheeks blush.
“Uh, yeah.”
He chuckles next to me and pats me on the shoulder. “Happens to all of us. Trust me.”
“Well, I thought I needed to distance myself in that respect so I could think of a way to solve our problem, and then I got lost in my head too much.” I groan. “It’s all fucked up. I felt like she wanted me to give her a definitive answer and I don’t have one. And it doesn’t seem as if she’s willing to wait, either. I just . . . fuck, Dad, I just need a second to think.”
“Then think. Take this time in California while you’re training to think. Hazel isn’t going anywhere. She loves you. Always has, always will. That won’t change. But she does deserve an answer. If you’re going to play football, then make that commitment and try to find a way to fit her into the plan. If you want to stay at the farm and take it over with her, then make that commitment.”
“You think that’s an option?” I ask. “What the hell would I do with the farm? I’ve no idea how to run a farm.”
“You don’t need to know how to run a farm. Your girl already knows how to do that. What you’d be is her partner.”
“Why can’t we just sell and she can take that money and come with me wherever I’m drafted? That seems like the easiest option.”
“Is that what you think Hazel deserves? Your easiest option? Doesn’t she deserve to thrive, to do what she’s absolutely brilliant at? Something she has worked at for years and years as well?”
I sigh. God, that makes me sound like a total prick. I’m not that person. I’m not.
“Sometimes, easy isn’t the option, because you realize it’s the hard that will bring you joy and happiness.” He pats me on the leg and then, as if to end the conversation, he turns up the radio and allows Journey to serenade us for the rest of the trip to the airport.
Chapter Seventeen
HAZEL
“Oh, Jesus, I didn’t see you there,” I say when I walk into the main part of the barn and find Marley standing next to Midnight, petting him.
“Sorry, I called out for you. I assumed you weren’t in here.”
I quickly wipe under my eyes, hoping she can’t tell that I just spent the last half hour crying. “Sorry, was straightening up in the back.” I swipe my hand under my nose and sniffle. Pull it together, Hazel.
Marley tilts her head to the side, studying me. “Are you okay, Hazel?”
Damn it.
Damn it all to hell.
Don’t ever ask someone if they’re upset when they clearly are, because all it’s going to do is bring on the tears.
“Fine,” I manage to squeak out before turning away. “Just, uh, just need to clean up some more. Can you put Midnight in her stall?”
“Sorry, I can’t.”