The Romantic Pact (Kings of Football)(82)

She blinks a few times and then shakes her head. “No, I’m not.”

“Excuse me?” I ask, feeling my voice grow with irritation.

“What do you mean, I’m your girl? What are you expecting to happen after this trip?”

“What were you expecting to happen?” I ask her.

“I asked you first, Crew.”

Where’s this anger coming from? One second, we were ready to pounce on each other from across the table, and the next, we’re arguing. Am I missing something?

“I think we should take this outside,” I answer, draining the rest of my wine and setting the glass on the table. She does the same. She puts on her jacket and she heads out of the restaurant, me trailing after her.

When we reach outside, she turns toward me and asks, “So, what did you expect to happen?”

“I don’t know.” I drive my hand through my hair. “I just expected us to continue what we’re doing.”

“Do you have some sort of high-speed airplane that can take you across the country in a matter of seconds that I don’t know about?”

“You don’t have to be condescending. I guess I didn’t think things through.”

“Because I’m not a top priority in your future, Crew. Not that I’m asking you put me as a top priority, but you have a future, you know what you want, and you’re going to go take it.”

“You’re a priority, Hazel.”

She rolls her eyes. “I’m not. I’ve never been. Football is your top priority, as it should be. That’s what you’re good at. And you should continue to pursue that, but while you’ve been thinking about football or how you’re going to fuck me next, I’ve been thinking about what’s going to happen when we get home.”

“And what exactly do you think is going to happen?” I ask. I’m so frustrated with this conversation and angry at her for . . . hell, I don’t know what, pointing out the truth? For telling me that I put football first, which is the absolute God’s honest truth? I put it first over everything. Over Hazel, over my parents, over Pops. Football has always come first, and that’s a tough pill to swallow, especially when the girl you’ve fallen for points it out.

“You really want to know?”

“Yes, please enlighten me.” Once more.

She folds her arms over her chest, striking a defensive pose. “We’re going to go home, we’ll have some visiting time with your parents, I’m sure we’ll sneak off and fuck somewhere because I have no restraint when it comes to you, and then when the time comes, you’ll go back to California for the rest of winter break where you can train, and I’ll stay in New York. When school starts back up, you’ll head to Georgia, try out for the combine, and then get drafted by some team that’s far enough way for you to forget anything ever happened between us. It’s not going to last. We aren’t going to last.”

“So, basically, you’re putting this relationship in a coffin before it’s even cold? How’s that fair to me?”

“How is this fair to either of us?” she asks, tears forming in her eyes. “It’s just not.” With that, she pushes past me and starts walking toward the hotel a block away. A light sprinkle of snow starts to fall as I catch up to her in the dimly lit street.

“Hazel, you’re not even giving me a chance to figure this out, to talk it out with you. It’s like you’ve already made up your mind.”

“As if you haven’t made up your mind. What do you really expect to happen when you leave? Do you expect me to wait around?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t think about it.”

“And that’s the problem right there, Crew. I don’t matter enough to think about.”

We reach the hotel, and she charges up the stairs rather than taking the elevator. I trail behind her, my mind whirling with what to say, with answers to her questions. Answers I don’t have.

When we get to our hotel room, she sheds her coat and tries to shut herself in the bathroom, but I stop her.

“You think you don’t matter to me?” I say, pushing the door open. “That couldn’t be further from the truth. You matter the most to me, Hazel. And I know I haven’t shown that in the past, but I’m showing it now. You matter to me. And I might not have answers about our future, but I’ll tell you what’s not going to happen.” I step in closer, pressing her against the wall of the bathroom. Her breathing picks up as she looks me in the eyes. “What’s not going to happen is you’re not going to push me away because you’re afraid of the unknown. You’re not going to push me away because you think it’s easier that way. And you’re not going to push me away because you think it’ll hurt less.”

I reach behind her back and unzip her dress, then peel it off her, leaving her in a pair of matching white lace bra and underwear. Beautiful.

“It’s not going to work, Crew,” she says, sounding deflated.

I unbutton my dress shirt, and her eyes fall to my chest as I push it over my shoulders and arms. And then I step out of my pants and let them pool on the bathroom floor. I quickly take my socks off and then take her to the bed, where I lie down and pull her on top of me.

“Let me figure things out, okay?” I rub my hands up her back. “A week ago, I didn’t even know I was seeing you. I didn’t know Pops was giving me this opportunity to rekindle our friendship, let alone become something even more. This is all new, and I’ve loved every minute with you.”