The Road Trip(70)

‘Sorry. We’ll all be there tomorrow late morning, OK?’

‘OK,’ she says, in a little, very un-Cherry-ish voice.

‘Oh, I can’t remember if Dylan told you Rodney is with us as well, so he’s going to be late too. And Marcus, but I guess you figured that out. And also don’t care.’

‘Yeah, Marcus must know he was a pity invite,’ Cherry says. ‘Who did you say was with you?’

‘Rodney? He needed a lift from the Chichester area, so we picked him up. Poor man. He had no idea what he was letting himself in for.’

‘Rodney?’ Cherry says.

‘Yeah?’

‘Rodney who?’

‘What? Err.’ I glance at Deb. ‘I can’t remember. Rodney . . . Wilson, maybe? Or Rodney White?’

‘Rodney Wiley?’

‘Yeah, that sounds about right. Why? Is that a problem?’

‘Ads . . . Addie . . .’

‘What?’

Deb’s unpacking – she looks over at me, catching my tone.

‘Rodney Wiley is not invited to my wedding.’

‘What?’

‘Jesus, Addie, have you – is he actually with you? Is he with you now?’ Cherry’s voice rises.

‘No, he’s downstairs – what’s wrong? Who is he?’

‘He’s the guy. The guy from that Christmas party.’

‘Oh my God. The weird guy you slept with who wrote you love poems?!’

‘Yes!’

‘No!’ I say, hand over my mouth. ‘No! His name was not Rodney!’

‘Yes, it was!’

‘I would have remembered!’

‘Well, I don’t know what to tell you, Addie, because you didn’t! Oh my God. Why is he coming to my wedding?’ Cherry shrieks. ‘You have to get rid of him!’

‘What the hell is going on?’ Deb asks.

‘Is he like . . . dangerous?’ I ask, eyes widening.

‘Maybe!’ Cherry says. ‘I mean, well. Not really, no, but he’s really bloody annoying. And he seems to have invited himself to my wedding which is so weird. How did he even get hold of you to ask for a lift?!’

‘He was in the wedding Facebook group! Only people with the invite knew about it, so I just figured . . .’

‘What’s going on?’ Deb asks again.

I wave an impatient hand her way.

‘What do we do?’ I ask Cherry. ‘What do you want us to do? Is he still in love with you?’

‘It’s certainly looking that way, isn’t it!’ Cherry says, sounding almost hysterical. ‘I doubt he’s coming to the wedding to give us his best wishes.’

‘You think he wants to try and stop the wedding?’

‘Who are you talking about? Rodney?’ Deb asks, coming closer. I switch the phone to loudspeaker.

‘Cherry? What do you want us to do?’ I ask.

‘I don’t know,’ Cherry says, on the brink of tears. ‘I don’t know, just don’t let him get here. Just get rid of him.’

Deb and I look at each other.

‘You can do that, can’t you? You’ll get rid of him?’

‘Yeah, of course,’ I say. ‘There will be no Rodney Wiley at your wedding.’

‘OK. OK. Oh my God, I wonder what he was planning.’ Cherry sounds like she’s speaking through her hands. ‘I have to go, guys, Krish is beckoning with both hands now, and he’s really frowny – but you’ll sort it, won’t you? I can’t believe you gave my stalker a lift to my wedding, God! Krish, hang on, would you – I’ve got to go, ladies, but do what you’ve got to do, all right?’

‘We’re not going to kill him, if that’s what you mean,’ Deb says.

‘What! Deb! No! Just, you know . . . waylay him. Tie him up somewhere. Maybe give him a bit of a scare.’

‘Cherry!’ I say, starting to laugh.

‘These are desperate times, Addie! I’m counting on you!’

She hangs up. Deb and I stare at each other.

‘Huh,’ I say.

‘Well,’ says Deb.

‘I feel like . . . we maybe need to come up with some sort of . . . plan?’

‘Like a dastardly plan?’

‘No? Just like a normal, sensible plan.’

‘Cherry said tie him up.’

‘Cherry’s wedding has driven her insane. We’re not doing that.’

‘The man needs to be stopped, Addie.’

‘Yes, I know, but – we need to be clever about this. We don’t want him to know we know. Then he’ll realise Cherry’s on to him. He might try another way to get there.’

Deb looks thoughtful at that. ‘True. If we get rid of him now, he’s still got a whole day to find his way to Ettrick.’

‘Right.’ I chew my lip. ‘So as much as I do not want Cherry’s stalker in our car . . .’

‘Or sleeping in the same room as us . . .’

‘I think maybe our best bet is to keep him close until the last possible moment, then, umm. Do something. Not tie him up,’ I say, raising a finger.

‘OK. Well, that’s our dastardly plan then,’ Deb says, with satisfaction. ‘Keep our enemy close.’