The River Widow(78)

A vibration seemed to be coming out of the ground, but it was coming instead from her body, shaking her to her core. She couldn’t imagine what the little girl’s reaction would be and hated the thought of her despair, but she told herself she was making the best decision she could. Father Sparrow had once told her that a person gained wisdom when they asked themselves the hard questions in life, and now she stood face-to-face with two she could not answer: Had she done any good in her life? Was she making the right decision?

She planned to tell the Branches nothing. Just walk away, making it easier on Daisy without some big showdown scene. Plus, if they knew she planned on leaving, would they take a final shot at killing her before she left their land?

Adah planned to continue attending the same church, where she could see the girl. If the Branches refused to let Adah and Daisy embrace and talk before or after church services, it would prove a poor reflection on them with townsfolk. And when Daisy went to school, Adah thought that perhaps Esther Heiser might help Adah get work in the school kitchen so she could see Daisy there as well.

Somehow, some way, Adah would remain a part of Daisy’s life. She couldn’t imagine going forward any other way; she owed it to Daisy and to Betsy Branch. She owed it to herself and to Jack, who wanted her to be happy.

Giving up now was like peeling off her skin. But she had to do it. She had to leave Daisy behind in the Branch house.

Sitting on the back porch, she was determined to remember the sound of Daisy snuffling in her sleep and the sight of her arm around her doll at night. She imagined opening the door on the morning of her leaving and wondering, Will I ever cross this threshold again? Will I ever spend time with Daisy again? She wanted to remember every moment she’d spent with Daisy, even the ones that had happened in this place, and yet she knew that after she said goodbye and lived elsewhere, she would slide farther and farther away.

The next evening, Esther came over for supper, and wedding details were ironed out. Adah made a careful observation of Esther, wondering . . . But Esther seemed overjoyed by the prospect of her upcoming wedding, and when she occasionally met Adah’s eyes, there was no malice there.

The tiniest of burdens lifted off Adah’s shoulders. Esther hadn’t wanted to be a stepmother figure, and she had been stern with Daisy, but perhaps in time and without Adah’s presence, she would grow to care for the girl. At the very least, Adah was almost convinced that Esther was not a party to the plan for catching Adah. Perhaps Esther could become the silver lining in Daisy’s cloud, just as Jack had become the silver lining in Adah’s. Given time . . .

After supper, Esther sought out Adah on the back porch as the sun became a blood orange breaking apart along the horizon. For a moment, Adah closed her eyes. She could hear a faraway train clacking on its tracks.

After making sure they were alone, Esther asked, “Did you go see Kate?”

Adah nodded.

“And . . . ?”

Adah was surprised by the question and made a quick decision. There was no reason for Esther to know what the letters revealed. Just because Lester had been violent with his wives, it didn’t mean Jesse would be. And there would always be some tiny shreds of doubt about what Esther knew and what she would say to the Branches. “She gave me some letters. There was nothing there. Nothing. But thank you for trying to help.”

Esther straightened and harrumphed. “Just as I thought. Nothing but rumors . . .”

Though Adah tried, she could not make herself smile at Esther. Esther was a wise woman, and her position in the community was admirable, but she had lived a cloistered life. As naive as she could sometimes be, Esther deserved her chance at happiness. Adah had tried to warn her about the Branches, and it had done no good.

“Yes,” Adah said. “Nothing but rumors. I hope you and Jesse will be happy together.” And she truly meant it.

Looking satisfied, Esther continued to peer closer at Adah. “What of you?”

Adah shrugged and said no more. To think that she’d once looked up to Esther, but Esther had in essence sold her soul to wear a wedding band. Would a child of her own bring her happiness?

She gazed out to the sky, now coming alive with stars. Adah had no need to tell Esther anything. Just to be safe.

Only one day remained.





Chapter Twenty-Five

The Branches could not have any idea she was leaving.

Everywhere she went, she felt inquiring eyes following her every move. When she hung laundry on the clothesline, she sensed someone coming up behind her, but when she turned around, no one was there. When she walked the roads delivering laundry, she was certain someone was following her, but when she glanced behind her, all she saw was the dust her feet had churned. In her room at night, she once had the strange sensation that someone was listening with their ear to the door, but when she slid out of bed and silently opened it, the hallway was empty.

She had to wear her mask for only the rest of the day, and then she would rip it off for good the next morning. Such a mix of emotions—she would be marrying Jack tomorrow, and there was the sense that out of the rubble, they would build their own happiness. But she was also leaving Daisy, who deserved everything admirable and decent and worthy, and for whom destiny should have served up those things on a golden platter. Elation and loss coursed through her like leaves of different colors floating in her veins.

When dusk came it startled her with its finality; the last day was gone.