The River Widow(58)

They swam side by side back to the shore, and when Adah emerged, the fresh air on her chilled skin felt as if an icebox door had been left open. She wrapped her arms around herself and aimed for her clothes.

Jack said, “You’re cold. Wait until you dry off.”

She became aware of his near nakedness, his chest of sculpted ivory with a scattering of brown hair that shimmered in the sunlight, his arms hefty, his body as big and warm looking as a cabin. He led her to a clear spot at the edge of the water, out in the open sun, and they sat.

Jack stretched out his legs in front of him and leaned back on his elbows. His thighs were like urns, but they tapered beautifully to almost-slender ankles. “Lie back and get some sun on you,” he said and then whispered seriously, “I promise not to touch.”

Adah did as he said; all the while her mind scuttled. She wanted him to touch her. She was ready for something like this, for a moment of reprieve. She wanted to live, really live, as she hadn’t before. Just make love to me, just love me, her mind pleaded.

But he was the one who had resisted. She searched the sky above for answers to the spiderweb of mysteries surrounding Jack. He did crazy things, such as taking her here, but then behaved cautiously. He was enamored of her, but he was a gentleman. On the grass and under the late-afternoon sky, the moon was visible and she could’ve sworn the ground was trembling. She had to place her hands flat at her sides. But it wasn’t the earth, only the hammering of her heart that shook the world around her. Desire clustered around Jack and her much too readily, and the longer they didn’t act on it, the stronger it became. Like an adrenaline surge when suffering a fright, it struck Adah at the mere sight of him now.

She said, barely above a whisper, “You must have a strong willpower.”

He rolled toward her and tenderly moved the wet strands of hair away from her forehead, his eyes melting over her. He let out a breath that sounded different than before—huskier, deeper, but soft as a petal. His gaze trained on her; it was brimming with something that looked like love. “Only because I have to. You just told me you’re leaving these parts. I’ve waited my entire life for you, but you’re telling me that it doesn’t matter. I can’t have you.”

An endless beat in time held her still.

Then he whispered, “Your lips are a drink of red wine.”

She’d never heard such things before, had never read them in a novel or listened to them on a radio program. And she’d never imagined being the recipient of such ardor. It was unknotting all of her tangles.

Later she would not even remember how it happened, but then they were kissing again, kissing deeply, exploring each other’s mouths as if exploring their minds. He moved down to her neck and breathed into it. “And do you remember when I said your neck was a slice of white cake?”

By then it was too difficult to gather words.

But after moments of passion, Jack pulled back. Again. She should’ve taken it as the ultimate sign of respect, but instead rejection landed in the pit of her stomach.

Jack seemed tormented, looking away into nothing. “What you’re thinking of doing, taking Daisy away. It’s dangerous.”

She had to work to find her voice, and she was surprised how weak she sounded. “Life is dangerous.”

Jack looked as if the gears in his brain were working overtime. He jerked his stare back to her face. “I’m going to get you a gun.”

The mood shifted as quickly as a gray cloud can block out the sun. An appalled snort exploded out of her. “Surely not.”

“It’s obvious you’re going to do battle with the Branches. They’ll stop at nothing to stop you. They’ve killed before and covered it up. And they’ve got Drucker on your back, too. A bad cop is more dangerous than anything. I want you to have a means of protecting yourself—”

“I don’t know anything about guns. I wouldn’t even know how to fire one. And I doubt I could ever shoot a person with a gun.”

“I’m talking about a small gun, a .32 caliber, small enough to fit in your purse or an apron pocket. You should be prepared for anything and everything. Drucker’s always got a gun on him, and you best be aware the Branches probably have plenty of guns.”

“There’s a rifle cabinet.”

“And they probably also have a pistol or two. They have a lot to guard over at that place.”

Each new argument Jack presented added a new fear and drained a few more drops of life from her body. “I can’t see myself going around carrying a gun.”

“It’s always a good idea to carry a gun.”

She glanced around, checking that she was really here, having this conversation. How could this be happening? “You’ve been listening to too much Green Hornet .”

“No. I don’t need to listen to fiction. Real dangers exist in the real world. You just said so yourself.”

She closed her eyes against the sun. “I don’t think I can do it.”

“Then give up on your idea.”

Jack was paying a price for this situation, too. She was going to hurt him, and she couldn’t put him at even more risk by involving him too much in her escape. Whether she got away or not, the Branches would seek revenge on anyone who had helped her. She had to end this, for Jack’s sake. “I think we’ve said enough.” Adah turned her face away.