The Revenge Pact (Kings of Football, #1)(75)

“Yes, it’s true,” is dragged from him. “I’ve seen you two together. I’ve seen how you look at him, how he looks at you.”

“I did. You’re right. There are all kinds of love, River. It’s different for every person. I couldn’t have spent a year with him if I didn’t. What was I supposed to do? You orchestrated our relationship!”

“I don’t know what do anymore! I fucked up! I can’t think!”

All’s fair in love and war plays in my head, but I can’t say that, can’t go there. This is so new, and he’s deeply torn, what if I’m pushing him too much, putting more pressure on him…

You’re too soon for me.

He backs away toward the door.

“River. Wait.”

A sound comes from his throat, part frustration, part longing. “I’m always waiting.” He shuts his eyes. “He’s my friend and a brother, Ana. I can’t be your revenge.”

Then he’s gone before I can tell him that this, this was never about revenge…

Oh no. It’s something else entirely.





22





The next day the sky is dreary as I run around the track outside the training center. The harsh, cold air cleans my lungs and makes me feel alive. I need it.

Benji is a few laps behind me today, and I glance back at him. During the offseason, Coach Taylor lets us bring close friends to work out as long as they don’t do anything stupid. He’s been my workout partner for two years now. He’s not a football player, but he’s a competitive shit.

“I thought we were taking it easy,” he pants as I pass him for another lap.

“Need my head cleared,” I call out.

“A lot on your mind, yeah?” he yells from behind me. “Wanna cry on your little bro’s shoulder?”

“Suck it,” I shout as my thoughts circle back to last night.

Jesus, what was I thinking? The way she felt in my arms. The scent of her skin. The electricity between us. The taste of her on my lips. My hands clench.

I’ve been the guy who lost a girl to another brother. Yeah, this situation is different—they’re broken up—but the loyal part of me feels like I’m doing something wrong.

That guilt grew this afternoon at the Kappa house when I stopped by to check in and see some faces.

Last night, that sorority girl called Donovan and told him about us at the library. I mean, I knew it was coming. Eventually someone was going to tell him. I was just hoping I could get to winter break first.

This afternoon, he looked like shit, his face haggard, dark smudges under his eyes as he cornered me in the kitchen. What is going on, why were you studying with her, you didn’t mention it, you don’t even like Ana, did you talk to her about me? Did you? Come on, River, tell me you put in a good word…

His pain lashed at me.

I stood there stoic. I’m sure I said something, but I can barely recall my responses. Guilt coursed through me.

Everything is my fault. I started their relationship; I helped end it.

I’ve been a shit brother to him.

I went to her apartment the night of her birthday and I’ve been telling myself it was for the class, to return her book, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t. I walked into her place with need in my heart. I knew he’d forgotten her birthday and was at the library. I knew she’d be hurt by it, and maybe, just maybe it was a way in. Hell, I’ve known where she lives for months. I’ve driven by her place a hundred times. I watched her dance on her birthday with images of her riding my cock playing in my mind.

It gets worse.

I hang out at the bar where she works. On purpose. She walks by and my eyes follow. She laughs and I commit it to memory. She frowns and I want to know what the hell is wrong.

I ride the elevator with her, and my hands fight to hold her.

I’ve touched her, before they were over, little brushes before class that made her gasp. That was wrong. Fucking wrong.

I knew what I was doing. I manipulated her, knowing there was something there between us, a delicate string. I dipped my toe across the line and tested the boundary, part of me excited, the other side terrified she’d jump across to grab me.

He was getting trashed on tequila, and I told him to dump her. Anastasia will never make you happy.

My eyes shut. I lied to push him over a cliff and then he went and did it all wrong!

Deep down, she would make him happy. Sure, he’d be sad about Harvard, but he loves her. That kiss with Harper? It bothered him. I saw his face when he turned away from her that night at the Delta house—and he told Anastasia the truth about it. He admitted to it. Dude is in love with her, but I tinkered with it, playing on his insecurities about his future and his parents, shoving Harper at him, encouraging him to tap that. Don’t you want to see if something’s there, man? I told him. She’s perfect for you. She’s hot. (She’s not.) You have so much in common. Your family loves her.

Jesus. I don’t know if he fucked her, but…

I. Fucked. With. Them.

I run faster.

When she kisses me, the world disappears.

Yeah?

When I kiss her, the world explodes.

As I round the turn to finish my last lap, I see Crew and Hollis talking to Benji at the bench. I jog their way and snap up a towel to rub the sweat off my face.