The Revenge Pact (Kings of Football, #1)(49)

“He’s forty years younger than you, and fighting doesn’t solve problems.”

He scoffs. “The aliens would disagree. I’ve met them, you know. They haven’t annihilated us because we don’t have the resources they need.”

“Did they put probes inside you, like in the movies? Did they, um, penetrate your parts?” Lila asks in a serious voice.

He chokes. “No.”

“Good,” she says. “I’ve wondered, you know, even thought of writing some intergalactic porn. I have a strange mind.” She taps the side of her head.

Carl loves talking about aliens; it makes him happy. I don’t know if it’s true. Don’t care. He just is who he is.

He swallows down a bite of his burger. “It’s funny…they really are like you see on TV. Green. Giant head. Big eyeballs. Tiny mouth. The leader wore a silver cape like he was a male model, swishing around like a supervillain. My theory? The government has one of them in Area 51 out west. I keep waiting for Zen—that’s the leader’s name—to come back.”

“Let’s circle back to the real villain tonight,” Lila mutters as she watches the Kappa table. “Donovan.”

Carl gives me a rueful glance. “I’d give Donovan a piece of my mind, but my right hook ain’t what it used to be, darling. Got a pacemaker. Gotta protect it.”

I pat his shoulder. “You’re fine. I’m fine. Eat up.” I slap Lila’s hand when she goes in for another fry.

She rolls her eyes and leans forward. “Carl, you’ve been witness to their relationship for a year. You’ve seen him in here with her. He was never good enough for her. She needs to get revenge. I’ve been talking my head off but she won’t listen—”

“I’m an adult,” I say, letting out an exhalation as I sit down next to her.

Can’t beat them, join them.

Carl takes a sip of beer. “If it were me, I’d get him back where it cuts the most.”

I shrug. “That would be Harvard, and no hope there.”

“That’s it! You’ll get even by getting into Harvard,” Lila gasps. “You’ll show up, all pretty and smart, sit in his class on the first day, and Harper will be like, What is she doing here? and Donovan will be like, Oh my god, what did I do, I need Ana! and you can be like, Who are you, asshole?” She fist-pumps the air.

Carl freezes mid-bite of a fry. “That’s the plot of Legally Blonde.”

“No. Elle Woods got dumped by her popular frat boyfriend. Then he got into Harvard and took up with his prep school sweetheart—” Lila stops, her mouth flapping open.

“Legally Blonde,” Carl says with a smirk.

I laugh. “To be clear, I’m not an Elle Woods. I take some of the toughest classes on campus, and I support myself. And no way would I go to Harvard just to get him back.”

“Legally Lavender,” Lila whispers as she moves her hand in a sweeping motion. “I could write a satire. A screenplay. Down-on-her-luck girl gets dumped by her rich boyfriend for being herself, then rises above, goes to Harvard, becomes a kickass lawyer to rival him, and then makes him cry like a baby when she marries some hot lawyer with a big dick—”

“Language, Lila,” Carl says sternly. “And, no, not a fancy hero. Make him an athlete with a heart of gold.” He puffs out his chest. “I was a football player back in the day. All the ladies wanted a piece of me.”

She tilts her head. “A jock? Hmmm. I don’t know. She needs—”

“She is right here,” I say dryly.

“She needs a man with a soul,” Carl says. “A man who cares for others. A man who walks in the room and other men look up to him. A man who looks at her and the whole world stops spinning. The more nuanced a man’s soul, the deeper he loves. It’s a forever kind of thing, the kind that’s written in the stars.”

I blink. “Dang, Carl. Where’s this guy when I need him?”

He shrugs. “Donovan isn’t yours. Always knew it.”

“Really?” I ask.

He nods gravely. “But he’ll regret losing you.”

“Too bad,” I mutter. “I wouldn’t have him for a thousand diamond tennis bracelets piled on a silver platter. I wouldn’t have him if he dropped to his knees and begged. I wouldn’t have him if he cut off contact with his parents and dropped out of Harvard for me!”

“Yes,” Lila says victoriously. “I like you fired up! You’re getting it now, baby!”

Carl smirks. “I predict he’ll marry three times, have no children, and get a venereal disease at some point.”

“From Harper!” Lila calls out as she high-fives Carl.

“I adore you, Carl. Lila, stop yelling.” I glance over my shoulder to check out the Kappa table. Several have gotten up to play pool, but Donovan and Harper sit, their heads bent as they talk. As if he can sense me looking, he rises up and darts his gaze at me. His lips part, a frown furrowing his brow. His eyes are bloodshot as they meet mine. His face crumples—

I flip around.

I don’t want his sadness!

“No,” I mutter under my breath. He kissed her on my birthday, told her about my rejection, and judged me in front of everyone.