The Retreat(99)

Between them – Rhodri and Shirley, and the Pattersons – they had stolen Carys’s life from her. They had turned her into this creature. This creature who had raised her hand to reveal what she was holding. A long, thin kitchen knife.

She held it against Lily’s throat. ‘Keep back,’ she hissed. ‘She’s mine. You can’t take her!’

I took a cautious step forward. ‘Carys. That’s your name, isn’t it?’

Her shoulders flinched with surprise.

‘We know what happened to you, Carys,’ I said, taking another step towards them. Lily was crying now, her young face shining with tears. ‘We know about the people who took you from the children’s home. One of them is dead and the other is going to go to prison. You don’t need to hide any more.’

She was silent, watching me, but the knife didn’t move from Lily’s throat.

‘We know you helped us at the chapel. You saved us, and we’re so grateful. But we need you to let Lily go.’

‘No. She’s mine. Aren’t you, Lily? I saved her, so she belongs to me.’

I took another baby step towards her. ‘It was Albert, wasn’t it? He found you in the woods and brought you here. He and his wife couldn’t have children, so they brought you up as their daughter. I understand that. But it’s no life for a child, is it, Carys? Children need to live in the sun, to be free. They need friends. They need to go to school and explore the world.’ I could hear Julia just behind me, breathing heavily. ‘Most of all, Carys, they need their parents. Lily needs her mum.’

‘She needs me.’

‘She’s not yours!’

It was Julia. She stepped forward, both arms held out before her. ‘It’s okay, Lily, Mummy’s here. It’s okay.’

‘Shut up!’ Carys hissed. ‘Get back or I’ll cut her. I swear, I swear on my daddy’s grave.’

‘We’ll get you help,’ I said in a soft voice. ‘Find you somewhere to live. A house of your own.’

She stared at me.

‘I want my house,’ she said.

I thought I understood. ‘Nyth Bran? Okay, you can have it, can’t she, Julia?’

Julia’s eyes darted between Lily and me. ‘Yes, of course. You can have anything, Carys. Just let Lily go, please. Don’t hurt her.’

‘You don’t want to hurt her, do you?’ I said.

She shook her head, but still didn’t lower the knife.

‘Come on,’ I said. ‘We’re not angry with you. We’re happy you’ve been looking after Lily, aren’t we, Julia?’

Julia forced herself to say, ‘That’s right.’

Carys looked at me, then at Julia. I could see her thinking, trying to make a decision. I waited, holding my breath, and then Carys relaxed her grip on Lily. Immediately, Lily ducked and scuttled away, towards the wall of the tunnel. And in that moment, Carys appeared to have a change of heart. She darted towards Lily and tried to grab her.

Julia threw herself at Carys.

Terrified she was going to be stabbed, I jumped between them, just as Carys lashed out with the knife. It swept in an arc across my body, slashing my belly just below my rib cage. I cried out with shock and pain, clutching my stomach, blood soaking the front of my shirt. The flashlight fell to the ground but didn’t go out.

Carys turned, pointing the knife at Julia, who stood crouched like a cage fighter, fingers outstretched, her own wound weeping blood. No, I realised – not like a cage fighter, like an animal. Mama bear. Claws out. Teeth bared. The two women faced each other, frozen, while Lily watched, eyes wide, mouth open.

There was a rock on the floor by my feet. Still clutching my bleeding stomach, I fell onto my haunches, doubling over as if about to collapse.

I snatched up the rock and threw it with all my remaining strength at Carys.

I had been aiming for her face but it struck her on the chest. She flinched, lowered the hand holding the knife for a split second, but it was enough. Julia leapt at her, pushing her back, slamming Carys’s head against the wall. Carys dropped the knife and Julia grabbed her by the throat, holding her, her face inches from Carys’s.

‘She’s not yours,’ she hissed. ‘She belongs with me.’

She grabbed Carys’s hair and pulled her head forward before pushing it back, hard, so it smacked against the wall. Carys crumpled to the ground and lay still.

Panting, Julia turned towards her daughter, who stood a metre away, hunched in the shadows. She was so pale, so thin.

But she was alive.

‘Lily.’

‘Mummy.’

They both sobbed, clutching each other, holding each other so tight I feared their bones might break. I took a step back, wanting to give them space, and watched from a short distance as they held each other, touched each other, repeating one another’s names until they ran out of breath.





Chapter 48

Julia came in from the garden, wearing a T-shirt and shorts. Not for the first time I was struck by how beautiful she was, and how lucky I was to have her. Summer sun had lightened her hair a little and she had the first signs of a tan. She’d gained a little weight too, and the circles beneath her eyes were less dark. The past week, I’d noticed she’d been sleeping better, not waking with a gasp from terrible dreams. Her therapist, who was helping her deal with the anger issues that still affected her – sometimes I would see her eyes narrow, jaw muscles clenching, and I knew she was picturing herself hurting Carys – said those emotions might always be inside her. But she was able to cope. In her darkest moments, all she needed to do was hug Lily, smell her hair. Or just look at her. It was important, the therapist said, not to smother her.