The Retreat(42)

‘What are you doing up?’ I asked.

‘I haven’t been to sleep yet,’ she said. ‘And no, before you ask, I wasn’t with Max.’

‘It’s none of my business.’

‘True. Anyway, I was working. What are you doing up?’

I dodged the question. ‘Did you see anyone come down here?’

‘No. Although I might not have heard them because the kettle was boiling right next to me. Why?’

‘Hang on.’ I ran back up the stairs, and continued to the next floor. I checked both ends of the hallway, even poking my head into the broom closet. I glanced up at the attic. There was no way someone could have got up there without making a great commotion getting the ladder down. Whoever it was had vanished. They must have snuck out the front door and would be long gone now.

I went back to the ground floor and joined Suzi in the kitchen.

‘Are you going to tell me what’s going on?’ she asked. ‘Like why you’re walking around in your boxer shorts?’

‘There was someone in my room.’

Her eyes widened. ‘What? Are you sure?’

‘My door opened and closed. I heard them leave the room.’

‘Are you sure you weren’t dreaming?’

‘I’m certain.’

She looked at me sceptically and I caught sight of my reflection in the window. My hair was sticking up in a mad-professor style. I could smell the alcohol on my breath too.

‘You were pretty het up when you went to bed,’ she said. ‘That happens to me sometimes. If I go to bed angry or upset I have bad dreams.’

‘It felt real,’ I insisted.

‘Well . . . is there anything missing from your room?’ she asked.

I went upstairs, Suzi following, and entered my room. Had anything gone? My laptop was still on the desk, my notebook beside it.

‘I had a pen, right here,’ I said.

‘I mislay pens all the time,’ Suzi said.

‘No, you don’t understand. This was a special pen. I always know exactly where it is.’

Priya had given it to me for my birthday, shortly before I started to make notes for Sweetmeat. It was the last thing she ever gave me. It wasn’t hugely expensive, but it was valuable to me, and not just because she had given it to me. I’d used it to rough out the outline of my breakout book. I might pride myself on being a rationalist but I was superstitious about this pen. It was my equivalent of Samson’s hair. The thought of losing it made me go cold.

‘Hang on,’ I said, noticing the absence of something else. ‘Where’s my phone?’

It wasn’t on the bedside table. I checked between the table and the bed. It wasn’t there. I looked in the pocket of my jeans, where I sometimes left it. I pulled the quilt off and lifted the pillows. I was convinced I was going to find it, and that Suzi would think I’d imagined the whole thing. But the phone was nowhere to be seen. I half pulled the room apart, searching for it and the pen.

‘See,’ I said. ‘They’ve gone. Pen and phone. Someone’s taken them. Now do you believe me?’

She scanned the room, very slowly, and wrapped her arms around herself. ‘I believe you,’ she said with the smallest shudder in her voice. ‘But who?’

‘I don’t know.’

Her eyes widened. ‘What if Ursula’s right?’

I scoffed. ‘What? You think a ghost took my stuff?’

She sat on my bed. It was 3 a.m. The world outside was silent. I’d woken up convinced someone was in my room, after spending the evening talking to someone about spirits and ghosts. Over the past couple of weeks I had heard nocturnal singing from the room next door, birthday candles had extinguished themselves, Karen had fled this place after hearing a voice threatening her, and Suzi had experienced someone trying to open her door. It was hard to remain wholly rational.

‘I must admit,’ Suzi said, ‘I’m feeling pretty freaked out right now.’

‘Listen. Ghosts don’t steal people’s phones.’ I sat beside her on the bed. ‘Also, why would a spirit need to open and close the door? They’d just drift right through it, wouldn’t they?’

That elicited a smile. ‘True. It’s just . . . everything Ursula says, about spirit guides and Heaven. Wouldn’t it be amazing if it was true? It’s like . . . if Julia believed in Heaven, maybe she would be able to accept that Lily isn’t coming back.’

The adrenaline drained from my system and I yawned.

‘I should let you sleep,’ Suzi said.

‘I don’t think I’ll sleep now.’

She looked at me. ‘I can stay if you want.’ Hurriedly, she added, ‘I mean, to keep you company.’

‘It’s okay,’ I said, not sure if I was relieved or disappointed that she wasn’t offering to sleep with me. This was a very confusing night. ‘I might try to get some writing done. I should take advantage of the mood.’

‘Sure.’ She got up. Hesitated. ‘I was thinking. Maybe we should ask Ursula to talk to Julia. It might comfort her.’

‘I really don’t think so. She’s never going to accept that Lily is dead. Not unless she sees proof.’

Suzi said goodnight and left me alone in the silence. I lay down, intending to rest my eyes for a minute before starting work.