The Psychopath: A True Story(8)

Why had Will Jordan lied to me so much? Was it really worth the money? He had taken me for just under ￡200,000 but for someone with the capacity to make ￡10,000 per month, that doesn’t really seem worth the six years he invested in defrauding me. So at first, I couldn’t work out what his ‘personal gain’ would be. Then I realised that the money he took from me was irrelevant; to him it was just a measure of the control he had over me. I am sure that the money came in useful to help set up new victims – the same way I had initially been wined and dined – but ultimately it was never about the cash.

He didn’t really need the money he took from me and our children – it was just a game in his eyes. And in his game it didn’t matter how much distress or anxiety it caused me or my family.

Score: 2

Lack of remorse or guilt

When Will Jordan found out I had met his other wife in April 2006, he showed no remorse or guilt whatsoever. Even when I challenged him with the discovery that there were no ‘unsavouries’ threatening to kidnap and murder my children, and knew he’d been manipulating and conning me for years, he didn’t show a glimmer of shame. Indeed, Will Jordan spent a long time trying to pull me back into his orbit – he called me regularly asking me to let him come visit and explain, but I never agreed, just letting him talk on the phone. He never apologised nor took responsibility for his actions but continued to say that all was ‘not as it seemed’ and everything would be explained in time. Even though I had met his legal wife, he still asked me to have faith in him. This time it wasn’t working though. His spell over me had been broken. I carried on talking to him over those first few months after I’d ended the relationship to try and gather as much information as I could. Only once did I ever get a sense that Will Jordan had answered me honestly.

One day just a month after I had found out the truth, he called me from the car. He was driving somewhere but sounded quite drunk. He said he was sorry and that I deserved better than he had treated me, but it was not a heartfelt apology, it was flippant and cursory. I asked him again why he had done what he had done to me. He answered, ‘Oh Mary, I’m just a bastard, don’t you know that now?’

Score: 2

Shallow affect

Shallow affect is a significant reduction in appropriate emotional responses to situations and events. It was with pain that I remembered the births of my children and how he responded to events that should have been the highlight of a father’s life. A moment of pure joy and wonder, but in his case both occasions were something just to be missed. All the way through both pregnancies Will Jordan had told me he would be there for the birth, that nothing would keep him away. He said they were ‘miracle babies’ as he’d thought himself infertile all his adult life. When I went into labour I texted him and got numerous excited replies saying he was on his way, that he was nearby, that he was almost there! As I was giving birth I was also watching the door, expecting my husband to burst in at any moment. But on both occasions he just didn’t arrive. For days afterwards he said that he was just about to come home but that circumstances beyond his control (to do with his work in the intelligence services) had kept him away.

Having met his legal wife, we compared dates, and during the time I was in labour he was with her and their children. He had not in any way been stressed or concerned. He had simply been psychologically torturing me for his own entertainment.

Score: 2

Callousness and lack of empathy

Callousness and lack of empathy is described as a lack of feeling toward people in general: being cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate and tactless. Reading through this checklist brought up all sorts of emotions and thoughts for me. Like knocking off a scab you think is almost healed, only to find virulent infection underneath. I think it was the realisation of his total lack of empathy that really hit home the most. One incident comes to mind with a realisation and an anger that still exists today. Will Jordan had told me he was home for a few days and was at his offices in George Street in Edinburgh and asked if I could come and pick him up. So I put three-year-old Robyn in her car seat and baby Eilidh into the baby seat and drove there. I texted him on arrival to say we were there and he immediately responded saying he was just finishing up and would be down in a few minutes. I waited. Ten minutes later I texted again, asking what was taking so long. He again texted back immediately, saying he was now on his way down. I waited. Robyn and I watched the buildings trying to guess which door he would come out of. Ten minutes later I texted again asking where he was, and got a reply that he was coming, sorry he’d been delayed. Robyn and I started to sing songs together. Another ten minutes and I tried to call. I got a text saying that a colleague had stopped him on the stairs and he just had to do something quickly first. Luckily Eilidh was asleep but I was running out of songs to sing with Robyn. I texted again fifteen minutes later, getting rather annoyed and got apologies and that he would tell his colleagues he had to go. Another ten minutes went by and another text. Just silence. Robyn was getting irritable and hungry. She wasn’t alone. I tried calling but got no answer and then texted again to say I was leaving. I got another quick reply saying that he had finished and was on his way out the door. Then everything went quiet again and I got no further responses. When I finally left I had been sitting there with two small children for two hours.

I found out when talking to his other wife that Will Jordan had not even been in Edinburgh that day. He had been with her having a nice relaxing family day out. He had just wanted to see how long he could make me wait.