The Plan (Off-Limits Romance, #4)(64)

“Not that much,” she whispers, still clutching the pie.

I lean over, take one of her hands—and Marley lets me.

“I was so damn happy that night.”

“Why?” she whispers.

“Because you were talking to me. I found out I wasn’t no one to you.”

“No. Of course not, Gabe. You never have been. I never gave you that impression. If anything,” her eyes on mine are lasers, “it’s always kind of been the other way around. I care too much about you.”

“No…Marley. That’s not true. I just go chicken shit around you.”

“Why?” she wipes her eyes under her glasses.

I grit my teeth. “You know why.”

“I’m not in guessing mode, Gabe. Spit it out or get on going.”

I inhale, feeling my stomach bottom out. “Because I love you, Marley.”

Marley starts to cry, and I’m not sure what that means, but I get up on the couch beside her, wrap my arms around her. “Marley—I wasn’t wanting a damn baby.” Her body stiffens at my words, and I rush to explain. “I don’t not want one. But I wasn’t looking for one.” I laugh at how crazy it all sounds—and, in fact, is. I rub her arm. “I wanted you. I wanted to give you a baby. That’s the only reason all this happened, you know. Because I wanted you.”





2





Marley





I look down at my legs so I don’t have to see his face—so stark and honest-seeming, so hope-giving. I swallow and then whisper, “I don’t think that can be true.”

“Why not?” His eyes are warm and earnest as they find mine.

“Well, I mean…it could be true. You wanted sex.”

“Is that right?” I look at him, finding his face carefully neutral.

“Your beard is longer,” I whisper.

“No one to shave it for.” His mouth twitches in something like a sad smile, and my heart misses a beat.

“Well, unless you want me.” He smiles then, and it’s different than I’ve ever seen it. So…open.

I just can’t trust it. Even if I want to. “I feel like that would be really stupid of me. And a risk.” Since I got pregnant with this newest little bean, I’ve been feeling really risk-averse. Like I can barely hold my tattered heart inside my chest. Like I need to hibernate for winter and lick my wounds.

“That’s the point of it, though, right?” he says. “I think the risk is the part that matters most.”

I glare at him, even as my mouth is trying to betray me with a smile. “Who says that kind of shit? Did you start writing for the Hallmark Channel?”

“The Marley Channel. Used to be kind of porny. Now it’s pretty much all pies. But I like pies. In fact…would you like me to get you some of this pie? Maybe with a little ice cream?”

I blow my breath out. “I don’t have ice cream.”

“I bought some for you. It’s downstairs.”

“Why did you buy ice cream?” I whisper. I’m aware I’m being petulant and needy, but I can’t seem to help myself.

“I read it would be good for heartburn.”

“Did you have heartburn?”

Gabe laughs, then pulls me up against his chest. “C’mon now, woman. I’ve never seen Marley like this.” His finger traces my lower lip as he smiles right at me, as if to demonstrate the way it’s done. “No, I don’t have fucking heartburn. I got it for you.”

I start to cry. “My mom is dead, Gabe. You weren’t anywhere around. I’m pregnant and my mom is dead, and I’ve been sad,” I weep into my hands. I want to slap myself for being so emotional, but I just can’t seem to control my emotions.

“I was at your mom’s house, Marley. That’s what prompted you to faint.”

“I know that. But you weren’t there at the funeral.” I wipe my tears, furious at him and me, both.

“Actually, I was,” he says quietly. “You wore that dark blue dress with the flower pattern cut up here…” He gestures to his collar, looking sorry. “I had this idea that I’d stay until the end and take you home, but I saw you crying, and all I could think was I already made you pass out once.”

“So you left? Gabe…that’s stupid.” I laugh as I say it—but it is. “You just left?”

“I thought you needed space. That’s why I left the tree instead.” I can’t tell if he sounds regretful or defensive. He shakes his head, and I decide regretful, or maybe both. “When you never called or texted, I realized I fucked up.”

“So you tried to apologize with pies.” I say it accusingly, and Gabe looks down. “Yeah.”

I can’t hold in a tiny laugh. “That wasn’t that bad of a save.”

“It wasn’t?” His lips curve up at the corners.

“I guess not.” I sigh, dramatically, before giving him a full-on smile. “Pie makes everything better.”

And I guess Gabe takes that as his cue, because he wraps himself around me, pulling me against his chest and kissing my head. “Marley…I’m so fucking sorry…I fucked up. I wanted to tell you that night that I want to try this out. I want you, and I want to be with you.”