The People vs. Alex Cross (Alex Cross #25)(52)

“Roughly two years of that, right? Like there’s no one else in the world who matters?”

I smiled. “Yes.”

“That’s because when you fall in love, there’s a chemical cocktail mixing in your brain. First it’s norepinephrine, and then the serotonins kick in, give you wild energy. It’s like bathing your brain in cocaine.”

“I think that’s right,” I said.

“You would do almost anything for that feeling once you have it. You might do crazy things that no sane person would do. Like abdicate a throne. Or walk away from your family, your life, just to be with your new love.”

Cassidy said she and Kevin fell into that kind of passionate love. They married after college and were still living the romance two years later.

Their third year together, however, Kevin began working longer hours, and when he was home, he was too tired to do much beyond sit in front of the television with his computer in his lap. He gained weight. He lost interest in her.

She grew more frustrated, in part because, while the chemicals of falling in love carry with them the rush of amphetamines, the chemicals of long-term love are more like a gentle opioid calming the brain, sedating it, in a sense.

“In retrospect, there was that, for sure,” Cassidy said. “I felt groggy all the time, like a sleepwalker. Even through the haze, I could see that I’d screwed up. I realized I hadn’t married the Prince Charming in my fairy tale. I’d married the frog.”

That crushed Cassidy. She felt like she’d settled for less than the perfect love and the beautiful life she’d been promised. Shortly afterward, she met Chet, a man who came to work at her real estate firm. Chet was handsome and funny. They flirted. He listened to her. The chemicals of new love trickled in her brain.

“I came awake, alive again,” Cassidy said. “But I did the right thing.”

She said that many women raised in the traditions of the princess myth will ask for a separation from the frog, hinting that they might be willing to recommit at a later date. They string the frog out for years, punishing him with hopes of reconciliation dashed, unwarranted restraining orders, and false charges of abuse and neglect.

“It’s all done out of spite,” she said. “They feel cheated. The fairy tale is not true, so they take their rage out on the husband while getting some love chemicals on the side.

“But I absolutely did not do that. I did not play torture-the-frog just because Kevin was not Prince C. He could have easily turned out to be an ogre, am I right? The point is that as soon as I had a commitment from Chet, I told Kevin to his face that I had to be free to love and that I wanted a divorce.”

Cassidy moved in with Chet until the chemical attraction wore off, about two years later. Chet’s place in her heart was soon occupied by Steven. Twenty-six months later, she met Carlos, a deep sleepwalker, who was ten years into his marriage.

“I woke Carlos up,” Cassidy said, and she chuckled. “In a big way.”

I glanced at the clock. “Our hour’s almost up, but I have a quick question.”

Cassidy said, “Okay.”

“What do you want out of our sessions? If we go on, I mean.”

She sighed, studied the ceiling, and said, “I’ve been eighteen months with Carlos. He’s a stand-up guy. He divorced his wife for me, and I really do love him. Not only that, I genuinely like him. He’s my best friend ever. But I know what’s coming in six months, a year at the outside, and I … I guess I want to learn how to be a sleepwalker and stay with someone forever.”

I smiled. “That’s a good goal.”

“Something we can talk about next time?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Cassidy took her iPhone off the table and got up. “Thank you, Dr. Cross.”

“You’re more than welcome. I’ll need an e-mail address to send my forms.”

“Oh,” she said, her brow knitting. “I had a computer virus over the weekend and I’m between e-mails at the moment. I’m opening a new account on Gmail tonight. Can I ping you with it?”

“That works.”

“Thank you for understanding all this.”

“It’s what I do.”

“And you do it well,” she said. She smiled uncertainly and left.

I stood there a few moments, wondering if Bree and I were sleepwalkers, then deciding that if we were, I was more than happy in my semiconscious state of marital bliss.

Remembering I had to take some leaves I’d raked and bagged out front for pickup, I went outside. The light was fading. Drizzle fell. I got the leaf bags, carried them around the house, and put them on the sidewalk.

I happened to look down the block and saw Cassidy getting into a black Nissan Pathfinder. Wondering if her Carlos might be driving, I walked a few yards that way and was in deep shadow near a retaining wall when the Pathfinder came closer, headlights off.

I could see the silhouette of Cassidy sitting sideways, facing the driver, who was just a dark shape until the Pathfinder crossed beneath a street lamp. For a second his face was clearly visible through the windshield.

Recognition stopped me cold. I was confused.

What was Annie Cassidy doing with Alden Lindel?





CHAPTER


69


GRETCHEN LINDEL’S FATHER used to tell her that the brain could be the strongest part of the body, or the most fragile.