The Night Tiger(64)

“No money, I’m afraid.”

He gave me a quick, embarrassed glance. “Have you thought about scholarships? My family sometimes awards them to bright students—the Chiu family foundation, you know.”

“I’m not in school anymore.”

“It doesn’t matter. I can give you a personal recommendation.”

I looked at the ground, not knowing what to say. This was a great chance and any other girl would be jumping at it—and at Robert. Yet I couldn’t help thinking that everything came at a price. So I thanked him, saying it was very kind and I’d think about it. “And now I’m afraid I really ought to go.”

Robert wouldn’t hear of me walking home. “It’s not far,” I said, laughing.

He insisted though, and I soon discovered why. He led me around the corner to a gleaming new motorcar. It was cream-colored, with sweeping curves and a grille that shone silver in the last of the evening light.

“Get in,” he said, opening the door. It was lovely. The seats were camel-colored leather, soft as a baby’s cheek, and the whole thing smelled rich: of leather and lemon wax and a faint whiff of gasoline. I sat down, crossing my feet to hide the scuffed toes of my shoes, and inhaled deeply. It would be easy to get used to traveling like this. Or maybe not. Because Robert, unfortunately, was a terrible driver.

I gripped the door handle, my knuckles turning white as Robert launched the car into the street with a queasy lurch. There was a grinding sound as he pressed various levers with his foot and yanked on others with his hands. We shot through an intersection (Robert waving in a friendly way at a furious trishaw man) and barely missed a fire hydrant. The worst part was that he kept talking.

“So, Ji Lin,” he shouted, over the din of someone honking at us, “will you be around all summer?”

As if I had anywhere else to go. I said politely, “I’ll be here,” through gritted teeth. And then finally, in a cloud of exhaust fumes, we were at Mrs. Tham’s shophouse.

“Oh, this place,” said Robert. “I had to pick up my sister’s dress here once.”

My legs were weak and rubbery, and I was forced to take Robert’s hand as he helped me out. Perhaps this was his routine with women, terrorizing them in his car so that they fell—literally—into his arms.

Mrs. Tham was out of her shophouse in a flash. It was clear she’d been watching for me.

“Ji Lin, I’m so glad you’re back.” She glanced at Robert. “Who’s this?”

“I’m an old friend of her brother’s,” said Robert, though he and Shin had never particularly got along.

“Oh!” Mrs. Tham’s curiosity struggled with her desire to impart news. The latter won. “Ji Lin, we just got a message that your mother’s ill.”

This was the news that I’d been dreading, ever since my mother had remarried. That she was “ill” could have meant anything, despite the fact that so far, her injuries had been confined to a twisted elbow or fingermarks on her wrist. The image of Shin’s broken, dangling arm was always in the back of my mind.

“She had a miscarriage.”

A miscarriage? By Chinese counting, which added a year, my mother was forty-two and approaching the most dangerous age in life, since the homophone for forty-two sounded like “you die.” My heart plummeted.

“Will you go home tomorrow morning?” said Mrs. Tham.

“Yes, I’ll take the bus.” It occurred to me that just this afternoon I’d asked Hui to tell the Mama I wouldn’t be in for the rest of the week because my mother was sick. How flippant I’d been! And now, like a curse, my words had come home to roost. I thought about the blackness in the river of my dreams, that ominous shape that stirred underwater.

“I’ll take you. Right now if you want,” said Robert. I’d completely forgotten about him. “It’s not far by car.”

“Would you really?” Mrs. Tham said. “That would be so kind.”

Sick with dread, I ran upstairs to pack, leaving her to ply him with questions. Once in the car, we sat silent. The one consolation was that Robert’s driving improved when he wasn’t talking.

After a while, he said, “If it’s very bad, we can send her to hospital. The district hospital in Batu Gajah is a bit farther than the Ipoh General Hospital, but she might get better treatment.”

“Why?”

“Because my father’s on the board of the Batu Gajah District Hospital.”

I hadn’t known that. Rich people lived in a different world, one where jobs and recommendations came easily. If I were cleverer about things I might be able to get better care for my mother, but I could hardly think. In the past few weeks, the people around me had been struck by a death, a horrible accident, and now a miscarriage.

Shin would say it was ridiculous and besides, who knew how many other incidents had occurred in this area in the same time frame? That poor woman I’d read about in the newspaper who’d been killed by a tiger, for example. Not everything could be attributed to fate, though there were others who would surely tell me to buy a charm against evil spirits. I sat in Robert’s big car, twisting my hands in my lap and trying not to cry as we rushed on into the darkness.





23

Batu Gajah

Friday night, June 19th