The Marriage Act(27)
HELP BRITAIN TO BUILD BACK BETTER
www.smartmarriage.co.uk
21
Jeffrey
Noah had been holding court for much of the morning in a vegan cafe, regaling his audience of three with a selection of unusual cases he had treated since his junior doctor placement began in Old Northampton’s accident and emergency department. But his plummy accent and desire for attention were beginning to grate on Jeffrey. Love was blind, and, in Luca’s case, perhaps a little deaf too.
Jeffrey also found himself irritated by Noah’s holding of Luca’s hand on the table. In Jeffrey’s experience, public displays of affection were more likely a result of insecurity and a need for the validation of others rather than a desire to express genuine affection. In contrast, Luca’s PDAs felt honest. They were a couple with very different needs.
Jeffrey wasn’t comfortable in his seat at the window. He clocked every person entering and leaving the premises, hoping not to find a mutual recognition. It was unlikely, as his appearance had changed a lot in the sixteen years since he had lived in the town. But it still made him uneasy. Perhaps taking on this case had been a mistake.
He had shadowed Noah and Luca, both together and apart, for the best part of a week, deciphering what made them tick and what divided them. And while Jeffrey believed that opposites attract, he also believed that, given the correct amount of pressure, they could also repel. Luca was the more introverted of the couple and the one with layers Jeffrey wanted to peel. The way Luca’s lips uncurled when he spoke, how he threw his head back when he laughed . . . each individual nuance and physical attribute made for a highly desirable package.
There was much about Luca that reminded Jeffrey of Rosie, the first person he’d ever offered his heart to. There had been others since, like Tabitha with her salty laugh, Lachlan with his passion for impressionist art and Darnell and his love of the outdoors. He had fallen in love with each of them for different reasons, but they all had something in common – a shared disinterest in Jeffrey. Luca would probably be no different and there were only a certain number of times a heart could be broken before it became irreparable.
Jeffrey’s only hope of finding happiness was if his DNA Match ever stepped forward. As soon as he’d turned sixteen, he’d sent off his mouth swab to register his DNA but his other half had yet to do the same.
Jeffrey swallowed back his attraction to his client and focused again on the conversation around the table.
They had been joined by Beccy, Luca and Noah’s intended surrogate. She was a petite, good-natured woman in her mid-twenties with an array of monochrome, nautical-themed tattoos on her arms and hands. And it was clear she, Noah and Luca were close.
Jeffrey recalled how the pro-family Government believed the addition of children to a marriage bolstered a couple’s commitment to remain together and encouraged their desire to provide for their offspring and, in turn, a better society and country. So it instigated tax breaks for families of up to three children, along with a programme introducing altruistic surrogates to potential parents who were unable to conceive naturally. When Luca and Noah registered their interest, Beccy, a mother of two and first-time surrogate, read their profiles and approached them via an official agency. After a three-month ‘getting to know’ period, followed by medical and psychological tests to prove their physical and mental compatibility, they had been given the go-ahead to begin the first of three free IVF cycles.
‘Have we shown you the Pinterest board for the nursery?’ Luca asked Beccy. He unfolded his phone and swiped through several pages of colour schemes and furniture. ‘We’re sending them to our interior designer Jada to see what she thinks.’
‘You have me and your anonymous egg donor, so when do you start your bit?’ Beccy directed to Luca, who Jeffrey had learned would be the biological father.
‘You mean when does my husband sneak off into a private room in the fertility clinic for a wank?’ Noah asked.
Jeffrey was the only one to feign his laughter. He didn’t find Noah as amusing as Noah found himself.
‘I’m dreading it,’ continued Luca. ‘Going into that little room while everyone outside knows what I’m doing. What if I can’t . . . you know . . .’
‘Hit the money shot? Blow your load? Make your baby batter—’
‘Thank you, Noah! We get the point. But yes.’ ‘You’re not normally shy. Remember when I filmed us?
You were quite the unexpected performer.’
‘Oh my God,’ Luca muttered, his face reddening.
Jeffrey quietly wondered if he could hack into their Cloud and find it.
‘Can’t Noah go in there with you and give you a hand, so to speak?’ asked Beccy.
‘He’ll just try and make me laugh. So no, I’ll just have to put on my big boy pants and get on with it myself.’
‘Don’t forget to take the big boy pants off first,’ said Noah. ‘You don’t want to be wringing them out into a Petri dish. Anyway, enough talk about my husband’s sperm; who wants another coffee?’
‘You’ve put me off a latte, so I’ll have a tea, no milk,’ said Beccy.
‘Espresso, please,’ said Jeffrey.
Noah and Luca rose from the table, hovering midway when they realized they’d be leaving Beccy alone with their Relationship Responder.