The Man I Love (The Fish Tales, #1)(37)

“Qu’est-ce qui se passe?” Erik said.

Will glanced over. “Dig you with the French.”

“Two years hanging with you and Dais, I finally have some game. I can ask what’s up or for a blow job.”

“Just be careful whom you’re asking for what.”

Erik shrugged. “You’ll suck my cock eventually. I’m just playing hard to get.”

Will gave a chuckle and lowered his forehead into the heel of his hand, the smoke from the butt held in his fingers making a wreath around his head. Feeling he should stay present while still giving Will space, Erik hitched up and sat on the counter.

“Dude,” Will said. “I’ve gotten myself into a hell of a mess.”

“You know, I never asked you flat out about your persuasions.”

“It’s one of the things I love about you, Fish,” Will said. “You’re not oblivious to shit but you mind your business.”

“Do you need my help here? Or do you want me to sit, look cute and keep minding my business?”

“I don’t know what I need, Fish.” Will flicked his ashes and ran a hand through his hair. “Actually I do know. I need Lucky.”

“You miss her?”

“Like f*cking crazy. I never set any boundaries on sex but when it came to my time and emotions and a long-term relationship, I always knew it would be a woman. And it’s Lucky. She’s the whole deal. You know?”

“What about James?” Erik asked, lifting the tea bags out of his mug and leaning to drop them in the garbage.

Will didn’t answer for a long time. Emotions flickered in and out of his face as he smoked and thought. “I did it for fun,” he finally said. “I was curious and acting on impulse and it was…convenient. Makes me sound like an * but it’s the truth. Judge away.”

“I’m not judging you,” Erik said. “You’re the closest friend I have. And in a weird way, it took Lucky going and James coming to make me see it.”

Will smiled. “Your friendship is one of my havens, Fish.”

“You don’t seem the type to need a haven. You’re the most self-actualized person I know.”

“Am I? I guess I am.” He took a long drag and stubbed out his cigarette. “James is a good guy. In the beginning I dug him on a whole lot of levels. As a collaborator, he’s been key this semester. But damn, he’s a needy f*ck.”

“He’s damaged.”

“I don’t do baggage. Everyone has a backpack or a carry-on bag, but James has steamer trunks. I told him from the beginning we had an expiration date. It’s temporary. And he acted fine but I can see now it’s not. I should’ve seen it before but I was in ‘f*ck everything’ mode.” Will sighed, putting his forehead into his hand again. “And I think I’m going to have a really big problem on my hands when Lucky comes back, Fish.”

“Will you tell her?”

“We’ve always been honest with each other. Sometimes brutally, but it’s how we work. We didn’t make a vow of fidelity when she left this semester. I probably will tell her, yes. I think I’ll have to because James seems the type to use psychological warfare.”

“You mean he’ll threaten to tell her.”

“Absolutely. And I can put the kibosh on that kind of shit right away.”

“Well,” Erik said, sliding off the counter. “If there’s anything I can do.”

“I own this and I’ll handle it. But accept my apology in advance in case it gets kind of tense next semester.”

“Done.”

“And for the love of God, Fish, if you’re going to swing, do it outside your degree program.”

Erik set his cup in the sink. “Good to know.”

He walked out of the kitchen, but turned back after a few steps. “Listen, maybe this goes without saying but...” He shrugged off self-consciousness. “A lot of times the only things between Daisy and a ten-foot drop to the floor are your hands. And I trust your hands. I trust you. Implicitly. You always got her back. Which means you got mine.”

Will nodded, solemn as a soldier receiving orders. “I won’t drop either of you.”

Erik threw his arms wide. “And dude, I just listened to your boyfriend troubles. How hip was that?”

“You’ll be giving me fashion advice next,” Will muttered, tapping another cigarette from the pack.

“Just out of curiosity, this…” Erik gestured to himself. “Doesn’t do anything for you?”

Will made to get up out of his chair and Erik sprang backwards two feet, laughing. “No, no. Sit. Never mind. Nothing to see here.”

“One,” Will said, holding up a finger, “don’t start what you can’t finish. Two, walk away now so I can look at your ass.”

Erik ran away.

“Even better,” Will yelled after him. “When you run it gets all high and tight. Like a girl’s.”





Cathedral


With Daisy on the pill, their lovemaking was even more frequent and intense. The spontaneity it allowed them caused a bit of a circus the first month. A second honeymoon. They were doing it all over the damn place. Seduction on the couch, sneaky trysts in the dressing rooms under the stage or the storage rooms where old sets were kept. Erik was waking up hard every other morning, rolling half-asleep onto Daisy or pulling her on top of him. Or he was pulling over in the car or pressing her up against the kitchen counter or surprising her in the shower. But even better than the freedom was the mind-bending sensation of having nothing between his body and hers. He had never been inside a girl without a condom before and he loved how she, and only she, now owned the experience.