The Library of Lost and Found(91)

“That was gross.”

“She still has the gap.” Martha pressed a finger against her own teeth.

“Really?” Lilian smiled, but then it faded away. “It’s difficult to imagine what she’s like as an old lady. She was always so glamorous and used to buy us the best presents, pink plastic stuff that Dad hated.”

“She’s not changed a bit.”

“No?”

Martha thought how her sister’s tone sounded hopeful. “You should meet her.”

“Hmm.” Lilian took a sip of her coffee and gave a small nod. She cleared her throat and her eyes glistened. “I said things that I shouldn’t have to you. I’m so sorry, Martha…”

“Zelda told me that you were there, the night of the party.”

Lilian nodded and set her cup down. “I was stuck with all the adults because you were feeling poorly. Something was brewing all night between Nana and Dad. They’d both had a drink, and things reached boiling point. Nana announced that you weren’t Dad’s daughter to everyone. It was so awful. And then—”

“Dad told us that Zelda died,” Martha said.

“I’ve always questioned fairy stories, but somehow I didn’t query that. Why would he lie about such a thing?”

Martha imagined her sister at the party, wide-eyed, innocent and scared. She leaned in towards her. “You were only eleven years old. We shouldn’t blame ourselves for any of this. We were only children. But when did you find out for sure that Zelda didn’t die in 1982?”

Lilian sniffed. She ran a hand around the back of her neck. “I saw Nana again, three years later. She came to the house. I was in my room but I heard her. I knew her voice and sat frozen on the bed. She tried to give Mum a book, but Dad wouldn’t let her… I knew then that he’d lied to us.”

“Did you say anything to him?”

Lilian shook her head. “Mum begged Nana to go. She said that things were settled, and it was all too late for her to come back.”

Martha reached out and lightly touched her sister’s arm. “You’ve carried a huge weight, for all these years…”

Lilian nodded. “I tried to shut it all away in my head. I never told anyone what happened. But then you found that old fairy tale book, with that date in it. I warned you to leave it alone. I was worried what you might uncover, what should be left buried…”

“But then I wouldn’t have found Zelda again.”

The two sisters reached out and clumsily found each other’s hands. They entwined fingers for the briefest moment before letting go again.

“Do you know who my real father was?” Martha asked.

“As far as I’m concerned, it was Thomas,” Lilian said fiercely. “And we’re sisters, whatever happened. I need to tell Paul what I saw and overheard that night, too. Then he might understand what I’ve lived with, and why I bottle things up so much. I’m going to ask him to stay. I owe Will and Rose a break, too. They’re great kids.”

“They can stay here anytime, now there’s room.”

“Thank you.” Lilian paused for a few seconds. She met Martha’s gaze. “And I’ve decided I’d like to see Zelda again. She’s family, no matter what happened.”

“We should do it soon. Things don’t sound good for her—” Martha halted her words, finding them too difficult to find. She cleared her throat. “One of her dying wishes was to read to a big crowd, at the football ground.”

“She wanted to do that?”

“Yes, and to see one more Christmas. Though it seems unlikely.”

“That sounds like our nana, thinking about Christmas at the beginning of March,” Lilian said. She stood up and picked up her bag. “Please think about the best way for me to meet her. I’m going to the library now, to pick up my Philippa Gregory. It’s finally arrived in stock. Do you want to join me?”

The thought of going to the library with her sister appealed, but Martha shook her head. “I’d like to take a little time for myself here first. Will you give something to Suki for me, though? It’s really important.” She passed her completed application form and reference to her sister.

“I’ll do it now.”

Martha waved Lilian off and went back inside the house. She found an empty cardboard box and placed the cuckoo clock inside it. She folded down the flaps and felt a strong urge to pull her family back together again.

And she had the perfect idea for how to do it.





37


Christmas Tree





Two days later


Martha found a new notepad among a selection Betty stored in a kitchen cupboard. She made a new task list and it featured things she wanted to do, that were important to her, rather than things other people wanted.

It was the start of a new plan of action, to reunite her family.

There were deep conversations to be had and history to unravel but, for today at least, she wanted it to be a celebration.

Her nana said her dying wish was to see another Christmas and Martha wanted to make sure it happened.

Her dining room now twinkled with fairy lights, and she’d set up a large Christmas tree next to the Chinese dragon’s head. She’d bought the supermarket’s finest sherry and napkins edged with gold. Thirty-six small mince pies sat baking in the oven, and the air smelled of spices and warm orange peel. Holding her hand to her forehead as a visor, she peered at them through the glass door. The lids were turning a golden brown, and the turkey was cooking nicely in the bottom oven.