The Last Equation of Isaac Severy(59)

Afterward, Philip treated his sons to their favorite ice cream parlor. Between bites of banana split, Philip realized Silas and Sidney were staring at him.

“What?”

“You’re being kind of weird, Dad.”

“Just tired,” he said, trying his best not to sound drug addled. “How do you like your new instructor?”

“She’s fine,” they replied together.

Philip almost said, “Well, she’s certainly fit,” but realized that this would sound creepy. Besides, his sons didn’t appear to notice female beauty, and Philip was imagining the day when they would announce in unison that they preferred men. He had already prepared himself for the expression of unfaltering acceptance he would wear on his face. And at that moment, watching them scoop mint-chip ice cream into their mouths, he felt that he wanted nothing more than their happiness, whatever their preferences—academic or otherwise. He wondered if this feeling would last.

The family reconvened for a late lunch at home, where Philip’s medicated high turned to anxiety. Anitka texted him several times that afternoon, and he had to repeatedly excuse himself in order to peck out a reply. After Jane commented on his multiple trips to the bathroom, he mumbled something about indigestion and retreated upstairs to delete both ends of the exchange.

Around four thirty, the house phone rang. It was Kimiko Kato calling with an arcane question about a certain five-dimensional manifold Philip used in his work. Her query didn’t have an easy answer, thereby giving him the perfect cover to step out for a couple of hours. After he hung up, he had to suppress a smile as he told his family that he needed to catch up with “the group.”

Faye, detecting his eagerness to leave, questioned him.

“The group, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“All men?”

“One woman. Japanese. One of the best physicists in the world.”

She sniffed. “You’re not just saying that, in the way men like to pat women on the back?”

“We do allow women to be great scientists now and then.”

Faye asked if he could drop her off at the grocery store on the way. Philip agreed, though had some difficulty concealing his irritation. As they headed out the door, he cast a final glance back into the house and saw Jane watching him from the staircase, a thin smile on her face. He tossed her a mock salute before pulling the door shut, and for the next fifteen minutes, her smile seemed tethered to him. He was so distracted by it, and by the idea that the smile had meant something, that he could barely maintain his end of the conversation with Faye in the car.

“So where is this group going?”

“Just a lounge on campus.”

“So you’re like beer buddies, but instead of sports and girls, you talk about the meaning of the universe?”

“Well, I don’t know about meaning.” He turned into the Ralphs grocery store parking lot. “If you were to eavesdrop, it wouldn’t sound as important as all that.”

“Please, it’s called the theory of everything, isn’t it?”

“A slight exaggeration.”

A self-satisfied smile spread across her face. “You know what I think?”

He was so unnerved by how much she looked like Jane in that moment that he found himself unable to respond.

“I think you’re one of those men who’s important enough to be able to downplay the value of his own work, but you know full well how valuable it is. I bet you think there’s no work in the world more important than yours.”

He wasn’t prepared for this level of psychological dissection coming from his sister-in-law.

“I’m onto you.” She gathered up her shopping bags. “You should let me join your group sometime. I might have a thing or two to say about the universe myself.” She cackled, as if she had said something very clever.

“Hey, thanks for doing all this,” he called to her as she was getting out. “It’s because of you that Jane’s getting better.”

She stuck her head back in the car. “You really think she is?”

“Don’t you?”

She shrugged. “You’re not around her like I am. I don’t blame you for not picking up on the subtleties.”

“You should have seen her before you arrived.”

Faye sighed. “My sister’s not like me. She doesn’t always let you know what’s going on with her. Thanks for the ride.” She slammed the door and strode with purpose toward the white-hot blaze of the supermarket.

As Ralphs receded in his rearview mirror, the image of Jane’s smile from the stairs returned, sliding from an innocent expression of trust into an unspoken plea. And as he turned into Anitka’s neighborhood, his wife’s small mouth transformed into a gaping hollow of despair, and just when it had reached terrifying proportions, the cottage door opened and the nightmare vanished.

*

He spent the next two hours on Anitka’s full-sized mattress, the two of them blissfully negotiating its meager expanse. But for Philip, the hours weren’t entirely free from worry. His sister-in-law’s prying had made him nervous. If he didn’t get back in time for dinner, he wouldn’t put it past her to check his cover story. Philip quickly showered, dressed, and returned to bed to kiss Anitka good-bye.

“Don’t go, please.” She pulled him back onto the pillow and pretended to tackle him. “Besides, you never showed me your father’s boxes.”