The Kill Society (Sandman Slim)(23)

“My friends, this is an auspicious day. Our new friend, the lovely Empress Consort Hristova, a wise woman who wants only to do God’s will and advance his just cause during these troubled times, has given me information that I believe will propel our crusade into its next stage. Soon, perhaps just a few days from here, lies the treasure we have sought for so long. With God’s blessing and this good woman’s help, we are one step closer to paradise,” he says. A dramatic pause. “And war!” he shouts.

The havoc loses its fucking mind. It’s like every Mot?rhead fan in the known universe stomping and screaming for an encore.

Me, I clap politely.

The Magistrate holds up his hands and the cheers die down.

“But there is still work to do. We will camp here tonight.”

That gets a round of cheers.

“Empress Consort Hristova will be my guest,” he says. “As for the others . . .”

He looks over the rest of the poor slobs he’s gathered together.

“Kill them all. Take everything useful from the town and then burn what is left.”

I thought the first round of cheers was loud, but this one makes my head hurt. All around me, the havoc surges forward. Humans and Hellions pull guns, knives, and swords. They rush the townies before they know what’s going on. The only good part is that their shouting covers up any screams. And when the slaughter is over and the townies have blipped out of existence on their way to Tartarus, there aren’t even any bodies.

When that’s done, there’s a second surge of motion as the havoc rushes in to loot the town. I let them go around and some slam into me. I stand my ground. As the Magistrate climbs down, I circle around to him.

Someone grabs my arm.

I whirl around, my hand closing on a throat. It’s Traven. He grabs my hand and I let go of him, but he holds on to me. It takes him a moment to get his breath and speak.

“Not now,” he says. “I know how you feel. But not now. He’ll see you coming. He probably expects it.”

I look over at the Magistrate. He has the map spread on the hood of his car. Cherry and the Empress stand on either side of him, moving their hands along roads and lines I can’t see.

I turn to Traven.

“Who the fuck is this guy? How does he do all those things?”

“I don’t know.”

There’s a distant whoomp as a couple of small buildings catch fire.

“And why kill everyone? Why burn the town?” I say.

“He found something crucial today. My guess is that he doesn’t want to take a chance on someone else finding it.”

I look around at the chaos, and something hits me. “I’m getting a look at what’s under that tarp.”

“This might not be a good night. It will be well guarded this close to an unknown town.”

A soul with no ears and no nose runs by with a Molotov cocktail in his hand.

“That might be a good reason to do it. It’s the last thing they’d expect.”

“I had a feeling you’d say that. Please be careful.”

“I’m always careful. It’s the whiskey that isn’t careful.”

I get on the Harley.

“Where are you going?” Traven says.

“I’m going back for my stuff.” I had left my coat, cigarettes, and the little knife I took off Doll Man in Traven’s camper. “In case things go wrong, I’m leaving you a pack of Maledictions. You should stay away from me for a while.”

Traven looks at the fire.

“If that’s the way it has to be.”

“It is,” I say. “Don’t worry. We have unfinished business.”

“What’s that mean?”

“I’ll tell you when I see you.”

I gun the bike and grab my stuff out of the camper. When I get back to the road, I leave the Harley by a giant earthmover covered in spikes like a prehistoric porcupine. I walk into the town as members of the havoc carry out furniture and craps tables. The smart ones grab armfuls of chips and cases of whiskey. I wave and give a thumbs-up to some of them as they go by. I look like an idiot, but that’s okay. I want to be seen. I want to be part of the group. The more they’re used to me, the more invisible I can be later.

Outside a burning bank someone dropped a torch. I pick it up and light a Malediction. Then I stroll downtown to join in the animal fun.

Survive. That’s all that counts. Survive and find a way home.



The havoc has been looting clothing stores. They’re dressed in golf shoes, wedding dresses, and tuxedoes. I help a group in marching-band uniforms set fire to a library.

Walking along the main road through town with my torch, I hum an old Circle Jerks song, “Wild in the Streets.” I think of Candy. What would she think of me now? I like to think she’d understand, but who knows? Anyway, this is no time to contemplate that. Tonight, smile like a shark and mean it.

I help some Hellions push a fire truck through a casino lobby. They don’t steal anything. It’s just good fun.

On a side street is a gun shop. I push my way through the crowd and grab a Colt Peacemaker. Stick it down the back of my waistband. Of course, by the time I get to the ammo case, it’s been picked clean.

Fuck my luck.

Pretty soon the whole town is burning.