The Intimacy Experiment (The Roommate #2)(67)

“That’s not even a good lie,” Naomi protested, but she let herself be dragged away.

“So,” Josh said, valiantly trying to fill the awkward silence that followed, “sorry, I don’t know the proper etiquette, should we call you Rabbi Cohen or—”

“Ethan is fine,” he said, taking a long swallow of his drink for courage. Josh had a good four inches on him, at least. “Congratulations on your engagement. Clara was kind enough to help Naomi and me with some publicity, and it’s made a big difference at my synagogue. She’s very talented.”

Josh’s face relaxed instantly. “Yeah, she’s pretty fucking great.” He gazed toward the house, either a little drunk, a lot in love, or both. “I still can’t believe she agreed to marry me.”

“She seems wild about you.” That much was obvious to anyone within a five-hundred-foot radius.

“Well, love is madness.” He raised his coconut to knock against Ethan’s. “Someone said that, right?”

Ethan thought of Naomi, her throaty laugh and her long limbs and the way she’d sooner tear out her own heart than let someone else get at it.

“Shakespeare, I believe.” He had to physically stop his feet from following her.

“I guess I’m supposed to say something macho, as Naomi’s ex. Threaten to kill you if you hurt her, right?” For all his size and deep voice, Josh looked like he wouldn’t hurt a fly.

“I’ll consider myself appropriately warned,” Ethan promised. “Though I have to say, I think if anyone’s at risk of losing their heart in this gamble, it’s me.”

“Nah, see, if she’s still got you thinking that, she’s in trouble.” Josh straightened up a bit and leaned toward him. “Naomi’s got her tells just like anyone. She’ll double down on a pair of twos, every time, just to prove she’s not afraid. Thinks it makes her immune, building up a tolerance to losing. But I’m not sure she’d even know how to play it if life gave her a hand she actually wanted.” Josh shook his head ruefully. “Sorry, I only ever speak in poker metaphors when I’m drunk. Clara keeps handing me pi?a coladas. You seem nice. And smart. I’m glad you came.” Another guest grabbed Josh’s attention, pulling him away, but he turned back at the last second. “Hey, Ethan?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you do me a favor?” Josh grabbed his shoulder, his grip loose and friendly. “Will you actually try not to hurt her? If you can? I know it’s not always easy.”

“Yeah. I’ll do my best.” Even that shallow promise felt hollow, but Josh looked relieved, and it was his party.

“Thanks.” Someone yelled for Josh to get back on the dance floor, and he nodded. “She deserves someone who wants all of her,” he said, quiet enough that the words barely carried over the music. “Especially the parts she’s tried to banish.”

Somewhere to their left, the band hit a crescendo, guests whooped and hollered, and applause filled Ethan’s ears. It didn’t matter that making Naomi happy gave him almost as much pleasure and purpose as his work.

At the end of the day, how much of him was left to offer her? Would she settle for sixty percent of a man? Thirty on hard days? Would she change not only her habits but her way of thinking, in order to honor a commitment he’d made long before he ever met her? Was he really ready to ask her to?

Josh grinned at him as he walked backward. “It only takes one.”

One what? Ethan wanted to ask. One person? One time? One mistake?

Ethan’s brain was in the habit of filling in blanks, testing variables, running running running, but Josh was already gone, apparently satisfied that his last words of wisdom—or warning—would be enough.

Ethan headed into the house to search for Naomi and found her climbing out of a pop-up photo booth, feather boa wrapped around her shoulders, a laugh breaking free of her lips as one of her friends helped her out. She met his eyes and smiled, warm and sweet, and then mouthed, Get over here.

As he walked toward her, skirting other guests, he wondered if the rapid beat of his heart was potentially fatal. If he’d sink to his knees at the halfway point. If she’d make up the rest of the distance.

In the end, he reached his destination and let her loop the feathers around his neck.

“What did Josh say?” Her eyes were guarded, and she’d folded her lips together while she waited for him to answer.

“He offered me some poker advice.”

Relief washed over her face in a wave. “I don’t know why. He’s terrible. Should we try to dance?”

Ethan forced himself to relax too. Just because the stakes kept ratcheting higher didn’t mean this relationship would end in disaster.

“It’s a party. Dancing is practically mandatory,” he said, taking her hand and leading her back outside. The music wasn’t strictly slow enough for the way he tugged her against him, but she leaned into him anyway, her hair soft and floral under his nose as she let her cheek rest against his neck.

He didn’t want to hurt her, but with his track record of neglecting the people he cared for most, the odds didn’t look good.





Chapter Twenty-Four


ETHAN WAS SUPPOSED to drive Naomi home after the party. That had been the plan, anyway.