The Hate U Give(24)

I let go of my mom’s hand to shake the detectives’ hands. “Hello.” My voice is changing already. It always happens around “other” people, whether I’m at Williamson or not. I don’t talk like me or sound like me. I choose every word carefully and make sure I pronounce them well. I can never, ever let anyone think I’m ghetto.

“It’s so nice to meet you both,” Wilkes says.

“Considering the circumstances, I wouldn’t call it nice,” says Momma.

Wilkes’s face and neck get extremely red.

“What he means is we’ve heard so much about you both,” Gomez says. “Carlos always gushes about his wonderful family. We feel like we know you already.”

She’s laying it on extra thick.

“Please, have a seat.” Gomez points to a chair, and she and Wilkes sit across from us. “Just so you know, you’re being recorded, but it’s simply so we can have Starr’s statement on record.”

“Okay,” I say. There it is again, all perky and shit. I’m never perky.

Detective Gomez gives the date and time and the names of the people in the room and reminds us that we’re being recorded. Wilkes scribbles in his notebook. Momma rubs my back. For a moment there’s only the sound of pencil on paper.

“All right then.” Gomez adjusts herself in her chair and smiles, the lines around her mouth deepening. “Don’t be nervous, Starr. You haven’t done anything wrong. We just want to know what happened.”

I know I haven’t done anything wrong, I think, but it comes out as, “Yes, ma’am.”

“You’re sixteen, right?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“How long did you know Khalil?”

“Since I was three. His grandmother used to babysit me.”

“Wow,” she says, all teacher-like, stretching out the word. “That’s a long time. Can you tell us what happened the night of the incident?”

“You mean the night he was killed?”

Shit.

Gomez’s smile dims, the lines around her mouth aren’t as deep, but she says, “The night of the incident, yes. Start where you feel comfortable.”

I look at Momma. She nods.

“My friend Kenya and I went to a house party hosted by a guy named Darius,” I say.

Thump-thump-thump. I drum the table.

Stop. No sudden moves.

I lay my hands flat to keep them visible.

“He has one every spring break,” I say. “Khalil saw me, came over, and said hello.”

“Do you know why he was at the party?” Gomez asks.

Why does anybody go to a party? To party. “I assume it was for recreational purposes,” I say. “He and I talked about things going on in our lives.”

“What kind of things?” she questions.

“His grandmother has cancer. I didn’t know until he told me that evening.”

“I see,” Gomez says. “What happened after that?”

“A fight occurred at the party, so we left together in his car.”

“Khalil didn’t have anything to do with the fight?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Nah.”

Dammit. Proper English.

I sit up straight. “I mean, no, ma’am. We were talking when the fight occurred.”

“Okay, so you two left. Where were you going?”

“He offered to take me home or to my father’s grocery store. Before we could decide, One-Fifteen pulled us over.”

“Who?” she asks.

“The officer, that’s his badge number,” I say. “I remember it.”

Wilkes scribbles.

“I see,” Gomez says. “Can you describe what happened next?”

I don’t think I’ll ever forget what happened, but saying it out loud, that’s different. And hard.

My eyes prickle. I blink, staring at the table.

Momma rubs my back. “Look up, Starr.”

My parents have this thing where they never want me or my brothers to talk to somebody without looking them in their eyes. They claim that a person’s eyes say more than their mouth, and that it goes both ways—if we look someone in their eyes and mean what we say, they should have little reason to doubt us.

I look at Gomez.

“Khalil pulled over to the side of the road and turned the ignition off,” I say. “One-Fifteen put his brights on. He approached the window and asked Khalil for his license and registration.”

“Did Khalil comply?” Gomez asks.

“He asked the officer why he pulled us over first. Then he showed his license and registration.”

“Did Khalil seem irate during this exchange?”

“Annoyed, not irate,” I say. “He felt that the cop was harassing him.”

“Did he tell you this?”

“No, but I could tell. I assumed the same thing myself.”

Shit.

Gomez scoots closer. Maroon lipstick stains her teeth, and her breath smells like coffee. “And why was that?”

Breathe.

The room isn’t hot. You’re nervous.

“Because we weren’t doing anything wrong,” I say. “Khalil wasn’t speeding or driving recklessly. It didn’t seem like he had a reason to pull us over.”