The Hardest Fall(89)

He jerked awake and his fingers closed around my upper arms before I could lie down.

“Zoe?” he croaked, sleep heavy in his voice, and then his grip loosened. “Are you okay?”

I would be, knew I’d be fine once I could feel his heartbeat and make sure he was real, make sure he was…everything that he was.

“I can’t sleep,” I whispered, my own voice sounding scratchy from all the crying I’d done. “And my head hurts a little.”

Obviously, it was a lie—not that I was hurting, but that I couldn’t sleep. Either way, I didn’t feel a single ounce of guilt for being a coward and not saying why I needed to be close to him. I just needed him to hold me in the dark where nothing could come between us—no secrets, no lies. I needed him to make me feel alive, and above all, I wanted to be with him, around him, near him…just with him, any way I could, simple as that.

I’d accepted the fact that no one would ever hug me like he’d hugged me in the shower, and I was fine with that; I’d just have to hold on to him stronger. No one would ever make me feel the things he so easily made me feel with just one of his teasing smiles, so why would I need anyone else? I didn’t care if half of me would have to dangle out of that twin bed because he was so big; I was getting in it, and that was that. Before I forced my way in next to him, Dylan shifted to his side and opened the covers.

A wordless invitation.

An offer for me to take the world.

I didn’t utter a single word. Facing away because otherwise I’d have to be right in his face, I lay down next to him and closed my eyes in relief. One of his arms went under my neck, the other slowly pulling the covers over us, and as the bed groaned under our weight, I shifted in place until my butt settled against his lower stomach. I stilled because even a very small, really tiny downward movement would bring me in contact with the thing between his legs, and I didn’t want him to think me being there was about that. I moved away until a third of my torso and my knees were dangling off the bed.

Dylan sighed, a heavy sound in all that loud silence that warmed my skin where my neck met my shoulder and made my eyes go all wonky. Then the arm under my head moved and he tugged me back, curling his elbow as he reached for my shoulder with his hand, trapping me in his embrace. His right forearm moved over my stomach, fingers gently diving under the t-shirt I had haphazardly put on after our shower, sending goose bumps all over my body. He stopped when half of his hand rested under the waistband of my PJs, his skin warming me from inside out.

“You’re going to fall off,” he whispered.

I was officially in a Dylan cocoon, and I couldn’t have felt cozier—hadn’t ever felt cozier, or happier.

I turned my head a few inches, and he nuzzled my neck with his nose.

“You’re okay?” he asked, his voice still gruff. It was perfect, so perfect.

Instead of a verbal answer, I angled my head, moved it up and down, and felt his smiling lips against my skin. If I attempted to speak, I was afraid I’d say more than I was ready to say.

Neither one of us spoke for several minutes. I had no idea what he was thinking, but my mind was working overtime.

Kayla, Mark, Chris—everything and nothing was coming at me at once, and there were two words I repeatedly heard over everything else.

Tell him. Tell him. Tell him.

“Shhh,” Dylan murmured, pressing his lips against my neck and lingering. “I can almost hear you thinking. Just go to sleep, baby. I’ll watch over you until morning.”

And he will, won’t he? I thought.

He’d help me breathe after scaring me to death. He’d save me from earthquakes, hold my hand after watching a scary movie, buy me pizza because he knew it’d make me happy, protect me from anything and everything by putting himself in front of the danger. He’d watch over me until morning.

When the lights came on, he’d still be there. After he learned all my secrets, he’d still be there, holding my hand—at least I hoped so.

“He forced her in front of his friends,” I said into the darkness. “How do you come back from that?”

“She has her friends. You’ll bring her back.”

“I don’t think I could’ve been as strong as she was today if it had happened to me. She’s loved him since she was sixteen, and he…”

His arms tightened around me, so I reached up to curl my hand around his forearm, holding on.

“You don’t have to think about that, not tonight. Go to sleep so you can be there for her tomorrow.”

A few minutes passed in silence and I wondered if he’d fallen asleep. “Dylan…”

“Shhh.”

“I like your voice,” I blurted out quietly.

His voice was so low when he hummed next to my ear. “Mmmm, you do?”

“Yes,” I murmured back as I closed my eyes to process that hum. “How was work?”

A short laugh as his chest shook behind me then a warm huff against my skin, making more goose bumps dance on my arms. “Same as always.”

That didn’t give me a chance to hear his voice all that much, did it?

“You must be so tired.”

He grunted, but even though I knew I was being selfish, I wasn’t ready to let him go. I guess it hadn’t been much of a lie when I’d told him I couldn’t sleep.