The Hardest Fall(43)

Maybe baby hadn’t been the best word choice, but I couldn’t take it back now.

“You said you’re free between four and eight, right? Do you have a study group at eight?” Maybe I could thank her with a small surprise.

I watched her shoulders stiffen. “Not exactly. Why?”

“I’ll think I’ll make it back around nine, thought maybe we could watch a movie together or something. I haven’t seen you much this week.”

I put my palms down on the counter and waited for her answer. It took a while.

“I’m not sure when I’ll get back. I…uh…I have a date tonight.”

Well then.

“You have a date.”

Our eyes met for just a second when she looked at me over her shoulder, but she was quick to glance away.

“Yeah. I don’t think I’ll be too late, but you go to bed pretty early on weekdays, so I’m not sure if you’ll still be up when I get back.” Her eyes flicked up and then down again. “We can do it another time? This weekend, maybe?”

“I won’t be around this weekend. We have an away game.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Okay? “I guess I’ll see you later then. Have fun on your date.” Or not, I thought, but didn’t repeat it to her. “Thank you for helping me out today. I owe you one.”

Her lips pressed together and she nodded.

“I have ten minutes before I’m supposed to meet up with my trainer so I’m gonna have to run.” Gulping down my orange juice, I started to look around in the drawers for my last protein bar.

I sighed. “Zoe, have you seen my protein bar? I left it on the counter this morning.”

“Yeah, I put it in the cupboard next to the bowls, the one next to the fridge.”

It’d been weeks since I’d moved in, yet I still didn’t know where everything was in the kitchen. I knew where the pots and pans lived, the mugs and glasses, and the spoons and forks, but that was where my knowledge ended, even though I’d already cooked dinner in there once or twice. I usually ate with the team, since we had our own chefs, but if I was home early, I didn’t go back out just so I could have dinner with everyone else.

One other thing I’d learned about Zoe was that she hated having things lying around. I wouldn’t call her organized, exactly, because I’d seen the state of some of the drawers, but it seemed like as long as the counters were empty and clean, she was fine, which meant if I left something out, she stashed it away as soon as she could get her hands on it.

I opened the cupboard in question and just stared.

“Uh…Zoe?”

“Yeah? It’s right there on the first shelf—did you find it?”

I reached up and grabbed my protein bar. Like she’d said, it was right there…among other things.

“I distinctly remember you saying you didn’t buy peanut butter M&Ms because you had trouble not eating them all at once.” I heard her get up from the floor with a sigh. In a few seconds she was standing next to me, staring at what I was staring at.

“You found them, huh.”

“Uh, yeah. They’re right there. If you were trying to hide them, you did a pretty shitty job.”

“I wasn’t exactly trying to hide them, but I can’t even see them if I’m not standing on my toes—it’s not my fault you’re freakishly tall.”

“I’m not freakishly tall, Flash,” I mumbled and looked down at her then back at the countless reddish-orange bags of candy on the shelf. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

“Surprise?” she blurted out like it was a question, drawing my gaze back to her. “I got them for you…as a present…a few presents.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Zoe, give it up. There have to be at least twenty-five, thirty bags of peanut butter M&Ms here.”

She groaned. “Fine, I lied. I bought them all for me, and if you want to be exact, there are only twenty-three, but I can’t eat them.”

“Right, twenty-three. And why exactly can you not eat them?”

“I told you: I can’t stop.”

“Then why the hell did you buy them?”

She sighed again and closed the cupboard as if she couldn’t bear to look at them any longer. “Because I can’t stop myself from buying them either. I just like to have them around, you know. If I know they’re there, it makes it easier to stay away, like if I had a craving I could reach up and get one and everything would be okay, but if I don’t have them in the house and it’s too late to go out and buy some, then what am I supposed to do? Or what if they’re out of peanut butter M&Ms, then what? Does that make sense?”

I just shook my head. “Not really.”

“It’s like this: it’s better to know I have them than not have them, and if I have them, I won’t eat them because then they’ll all be gone. I like that they’re there. Oh, let’s look at it like this.”

“Let’s.”

“I bet you eat your favorite food on the plate last, right? Let’s say you have meatballs, broccoli, and…rosemary and garlic roasted potatoes. Which one would you leave for last?”

I just blankly stared at her.

“I would leave the roasted potatoes. I’d want to savor them, so I’d leave them to eat last. Get it now?”